I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
I hear your laughter in my mind,
The clear ringing of your happiness,
And I just want to hear it again,
Mingled with my own.
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
I see your smile under my eyelids,
Your body curled up on the couch
In my favorite red sweatshirt,
Your gorgeous blue eyes gazing at my own.
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
I feel your arms around me,
The gentle rhythm of your breathing,
Your soft hair brushing my cheek,
And your heart beating within you, just for me.
I shouldn't write after 10 pm
Because after 10 pm,
Every happy or sad thought
Is traced back to you;
You are constantly on my mind,
But after the world turns off and the darkness comes on,
I can see you so much more clearly,
And my ache is renewed.
Please, someone stop me from writing after 10 pm.
I don't want this pain.

I’m
Sitting here On the
      mountain top
Watching the sunrise

           With
a cup of coffee in hand
           today’s
   paper on the other
   I’m reminded of the
   Life I ought to have
           And
  How blessed I am
      To  be alive

          Oh my
What a beautiful
         Scenery

Nature surely knows
           How
  To put on a show

The Trees are creaking
And moaning  in the
             wind
The snakes are  hissing
The Goats  are bleating
The bears are  growling
The bees are humming
And buzzing In a
          distance
Birds high on the trees
  Clapping for the rise
            I swear
Excitements had them
Singing all morning long
           Even had
the leaves dancing
            For joy
              And
      Luckily for me
         I was there
With my cup of coffee
   In hand and today’s
    Paper on the other
To capture the moment
              Of  a
Perfect performance
         By Nature

June 12th
It’s been a month or so since my hiding
I’ve been talking to god a lot lately
Some are conversations asking for forgiveness
Asking whether this was all part of his plan
Asking if there’s ever a way I’ll be happy again
After all “it’s all in god’s hands!”
Clock is ticking and my patience is running
Trying to get answers
I think it should slow down
It might be running in the wrong direction

I’m stuck...

But I won’t give up
This is a fight
For my soul’s growth
Can’t abandon that!
I also can’t abandon it because it belongs to my parents
I can’t sell my soul to the devil
I can’t let them down by committing sins
I can’t let their heads face down in front of others  
I can’t!
It’s tormenting!

But...
Doesn’t that mean I have a soul?
It tormenting me?

Sorry god...
Let’s rewind
You do work in mysterious ways...
Which means, you can take something away that we love instead of giving more.
“Sometimes the Blessings are not in what he gives, but what he takes away.”

I need to think and we’ll talk again god
Thank you!