After four years, I thought I knew you
My self-proclaimed little sister
The girl I picked up to help escape your family with mindless activities
My phone was always open for every text about poems
And every call about stupid high school boys

You said malicious things about the people closest to me
Beginning with yourself
You could not say anything face to face with me
I know now you were too cowardly to look me in the eye as you lie

I do not know what you told people I did
I just know I never really knew you

He thought
He was too broken
No one would ever love him
He saw no color
In the world
It was black and white

Cynicism blacked out
Rays of sun
Depression pushed away
Love
Suicide seemed
To be a light
It drew him
Into its embrace
It held him tight
Like a noose
It whispered promises
Of ending all the pain

He was moments away
From falling

There is a place
Where insecurities rule
No one is safe
From the voices that live in the dark recesses
The Kingdom of Insecurities

Walls of confidence crumble
Seedlings of doubt are planted in the gardens of love
Hate lives among love
Flowers of fear grow tall
The fruit of all relationships is rotten

The Kingdom of Insecurities is dark
The lack of light does little to hide
The terror that lurks behind our own eyes

There is no King or Queen of Insecurities
We have no master but our own internal fears

Someone
Anyone
Please help me escape this yolk
Get me out of
The Kingdom of Insecurities

I** wish you could feel my pain

A strong girl cries too
Memories that need to be forgotten

Forever alone
I want you to stay
Never believe the ones who say they care
Enough is enough

You know how they say that we should never get too close to broken glass?
That we might get hurt?
Isn’t that the same with humans?
If we get too close to a broken person, we could get hurt too as I found out the hard way.

When that person comes into your life, it messes with you.
It cuts you deep.
And the closer you get, the more blood it draws.
The pain becomes addicting.
You never want it to stop.

Now put yourself in the broken person’s shoes.
How they feel every time they hurt someone.
Image watching as you unintentionally hurt the other.
The person you love.
The only person you have loved and will ever love.

Your heart is as fragile as glass and all it takes is one little hit to break it.
Once it’s broken, it’s hard to put back together.

Am I saying it wasn’t worth it?
No.
I am saying just be careful what you ask for.
You just get what you wish for.

Today in class
The teacher asked a question
What is beauty?

While the others raised their hands
Wanting to give an answer
An answer that was far from honest
But would please the teacher

I ducked my head
Hiding from the searching eyes
I wasn't ready to show my vulnerability yet

My name was called
It echoed in the room
Or was it my head

Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Am I supposed to be this tall?
I don't know about that
But I think I am fat
One, two, three
Is that a pimple I see?

Beauty was not my life
I was no Beauty
More of a Beast
Yet here I was
I had to answer for the sweet girl

Honesty is the best policy
I opened my heart and poured it out
I drowned in the feelings

Beauty is our own perception
It is in everything
It just takes different eyes
To see different types