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Abhijeeth May 2019
My heart is screaming in disbelief,
there has to be some mistake,
this is denial, the first stage of grief.
This is what starts my heartache.

I cursed the world and called it a thief,
it took my dream and swallowed it.
This is anger, the second stage of grief.
This is when i became a hypocrite.

And then came the question of what if,
maybe i can still have a part of that dream.
This is bargaining, the third stage of grief.
This is what stops the heart's scream.

Then the eyes got heavy and the legs got stiff,
nothing nothing, i want to be nothing.
This is depression, the fourth stage of grief.
This is when my soul forgot to sing.

There are no magic words that will bring relief,
it is what it is, i am gonna go get some ice cream.
This is acceptance, the last stage of grief.
Now i begin again in search of my next dream.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
What do you fear?
What makes you shed a tear?
What is your worst nightmare?
What makes you care?

I fear being stuck in a place,
seconds turn into hours into days.
Before I know it I am one with the place,
giving into the routine of my days.

The mirror looking back with judging eyes.
Crusing through life while time flies,
what happened to the kid's dreams,
remember, we burnt it in the routine flames.

I am falling through the sky,
losing grip on my fantasy,
slipped through my hands, the clarity,
woke up back in reality.

I care because I fear,
the failure, will tear
me apart, the liar
says I am a believer.
The questions asked in the first paragraph are answered in subsequent paras with each para representing the answer to each question. The final paragraph answers the most important question of why do I care, why not just give in to the routine? I care because I fear failure(here the failure for me is leading a life full of routines instead of chasing my dreams) and I fear failure tearing me apart. While all this is happening I also have a liar inside of me who says he believes in me.
Abhijeeth Jan 2019
Do you know about the color blue?
It is in the sky and in me too.
Disguising itself as the color of calm,
in the river held back by a dam,
always in the background, in neglect,
blue hits me when I least expect.

The color of calm has a hidden side,
waiting for me to get tongue tied.
Silence is blue's favorite pastime,
tried to fight him with music and a rhyme,
blue is good in color only,
he haunts me whenever I am lonely.

A bit of advice from me to you,
advice about the demon blue.
Don't listen to the voices in your head,
don't let the color tie you to your bed,
I know it's tough to fight the blue,
I want you to know I believe in you,
don't let this story be about blue,
take it back, it's time you flew,
don't let this blue color define you,
look in the mirror and say f*ck you blue.
This poem is about depression and my fight with it. I compare it to a river waiting to burst through a dam, always lurking in the background, waiting for a chance to make me feel miserable. Music and poems have been my release from it. I end the poem by asking the reader to fight it with all their strength if he/she ever faces it, because the only way to survive this demon is by not giving into it.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
I will tell you about a dream,
I will paint a picture for you,
a house beside a beautiful stream,
add a couple of mountains too.
The first rays of the morning kiss me,
I watch the sun wake up to the green sea,
the birds are singing with the trees,
the clouds whisper, you are free.
Time stops and sits beside me,
get it, I have time on my side,
one more second, I lie,
been too long since I wasn't tired.
I close my eyes and open my ears,
I hear the sound of the wind,
the sound of the river flowing for years,
I finally found my peace of mind.
It's autumn so the leaves are falling
and swaying and dancing in the air,
it's the most beautiful morning,
a voice says your time is up I fear.
Before I knew it I was in the past,
time had got up and walked away,
an echo of the moment passed
nothing but a memory of the lost day.
And now I sit here reminiscing,
if only I could have,
all the things that I am missing.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
I will tell you about a nightmare,
I will paint a picture for you,
sitting in a cubicle with a blank stare,
add the yearning for something new.
The light from the monitor hits me,
watch the screen load and the day begins,
the sound of people clicking a,b,c,
people on call talking about strings.
I can see time struggling beside me,
get it, I am killing time,
how much longer, time ignores my plea,
this is how I am spending my prime.
Close my ears with music and open my eyes,
I see the lines of code,
I see myself drowning in my lies,
I hate that I am perpetually bored.
It's winter, the cold is biting,
the blues are calling but you are still fighting,
everyday I live the same morning,
thinking of the time I am losing.
I am stuck in the present,
time is refusing to move forward,
a prisoner of it's torment,
blending into this colorless world.
And now I am here lost in my seat,
can't help but think,
my song is stuck on repeat.
Abhijeeth Apr 2019
I am supposed to be happy,
but I am green with envy,
as green as the grass on the other side,
these thoughts are rotting on the inside.
Envy is an unwanted companion,
she fools me with compassion.
I have tried so hard to be content
and yet everyday I am in torment,
I see people walk through the doors
that closed for me while I lay on the floor.
Everytime I thought I found the key,
I was told it didn't belong to me.
Scared to look at my reflection,
while stuck in a cage of rejection.
I am looking for someone to blame,
tell me who is the source of this pain,
who put me here, why am I not free,
I shudder and realise,it was.. it was me.
Abhijeeth Jan 2019
A feather in the sky,
is it flying or falling?
A flock of birds,
where are they going?
Dark clouds pass by,
what are you hiding?
Oh how I wish I was there,
up high in the sky.
All my worries forgotten,
through the clouds I fly.
Things to do, people to call,
to all the responsibilities, bye bye.
But a dream is a dream, I am
thrown back into reality.
Dark clouds are parting,
giving way to the orange sea.
I envy you all,
you are all so free.
The sun's going down,
and now I head home.
Get back to reality,
switch on your phone.
I steal a few more seconds,
before I hear my ringtone.
Abhijeeth Jan 2019
You speak and I hear no one and nothing else,
you laugh and I see no one and nothing else.
Caught your eyes with mine, my heart peeked too,
the world melts away, it's just me and you.
You left and took my thoughts with you,
you are an high that I am addicted too.
I was sober until you gave me your smile,
blurs the space and time of where I am.
I indulge too much and lose my heart,
just a little and I lose myself.
Only fair that my stolen heart is replaced with yours,
life's not fair though and now I am sober forevermore.
Abhijeeth Jan 2019
There once was a time,
when I was whole.
Sold my heart for a dime,
leaving a black hole.

Someone stop time,
she's fleeing too fast.
What was my crime?
In darkness I am lost.

Staring at the end of a rope,
lost in my sorrow.
Only bright light is that hope,
for a better tomorrow.

Lost in darkness without my heart
but I will still go on.
Into the night I depart,
still in this marathon.

I will leave you with a quip,
as dawn breaks the dark night.
Oh captain guide your ship!
Guide it to that bright light.
This poem is about surviving a broken heart. The first part focuses on the immediate aftermath of a heartbreak, where one feels like he/she has a lost a part of themselves. The feeling that everyone around them is moving on too fast and they are stuck in darkness.  The second part focuses on the will to go on in the face of heartbreak. This is usually a long process(marathon), there is a promise of light at the end of it but the only person who can make this journey is you because you are the captain of your life.
Abhijeeth Mar 2019
I have spent so much time,
being afraid of it.
Keep telling myself I will be fine,
don't worry about it.
I am only human,
can't stop thinking about it.
I am confident? I can?
Will I conquer it?
What if it's a tough fight?
will I lose to it?
The path I chose is right,
right? lost in pursuit of it.
It is unkown and frightening,
have sold so much time for it.
Afraid of what it will bring,
What is this? What is It?
Perpetrator of my torture,
can't stop chasing it.
It is my future,
I know nothing about it.
Abhijeeth Mar 2019
All my friends are leaving,
they are looking for life's meaning,
chasing dreams or being chased by fears,
I truly hope they get their heart's desires.
I try but I can't shake this feeling.
I feel guilty, I am a selfish being.
Internal conflict, don't want to lose these friendships.
I am selfish, for my dreams I too would jump ship.
Doesn't mean I have to be okay when it ends,
An open secret, not good at making new friends.
My greatest fear is coming true,
What happens when you're left with only you?
We will still talk, we will keep in touch.
Until life takes over and we don't talk that much.
I understand moving on is human,
hate people leaving is so common.
It's okay, this is what life is,
lots of people you're gonna miss.
So cheers to a new beginning,
inevitably, will have the same ending.
Add to that list of people we knew,
look for the same things in someone new.
As we grow older our friends start moving away, this poem is my way of releasing my emotions about it.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
The boy said, her eyes were a sky full of stars,
oh he said, her smile stole a thousand hearts,
caught her eyes with mine, my heart stopped and looked too.
He really thought he had a chance, oh what a fool.

Created all these fantasies in your head,
**** son, you had lost your head.
Looking back, all the things you said and did,
makes me so embarrassed, it was so childish.

Wish I could go back in time and,
wish I stopped him hitting send.
Doesn't matter now, the past is set in stone,
you can't change it but you can atone.

Life is about growing and learning,
learning from mistakes and being discerning.
Boy, please don't repeat mistakes again,
grow up now, and learn to be a man.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
**** I feel lonely,
everyone is a phoney.
Nobody understands me,
nobody can stand me.

All I see is fake smiles,
big words full of lies,
big world full of liars,
pretenders and deniers.

Go on, keep pretending,
like your life has meaning.
Go on, carry on with the fake praise,
pretending to care is the new craze.

When the going gets tough man,
the pretenders forget you, ****.
You are all alone in this world,
most bitter truth I have ever heard.

Maybe I am being a bit harsh,
maybe my words are a bit rash.
But **** I feel lonely,
I have no one who loves me.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
I am losing the fire in me,
the fight in me, it's a tragedy.
I can't keep up the pace,
lost in this race, accepting my fate.

I never wanted to settle,
losing the battle, little by little.
Jack of all trades, master of none,
I lost all the fun, I think I am now done.

I can't see where I am going,
what am I doing, that window is closing.
I will be alright,
right? Is there a light?

We will take it one day at a time,
writing a rhyme, gonna be just fine.
I will travel the world, see everything,
read everything, a million songs to sing.

Life never follows the plan,
made by the man, lost in the sand.
But life is still yours,
get up of the floor and kick down the doors.
Everyone is in a race to accomplish something in this life. We feel we are running out of time to achieve our goals. This poem is about your best laid plans not working out and how that's not the end of the line because life has so much to offer.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
Picture this, at the base of a mountain,
looking up, in awe of the task at hand.
Do you give up and just sit there
or take the first step and conquer your fear.

Let me create a parallel here,
this mountain and the problem you fear.
Staring at it won't help you reach the pinnacle,
being still won't help you solve the obstacle.

Listen up, you are on a journey called existence,
a mountain stands in the path to your ambition.
I promise you all the ups and downs are worth it.
One step at a time, go conquer that summit.

Truth is, this life is a series of mountains,
take them on, one at a time and solve thousands.
You are stronger than your problems,
keep that chin up and go be awesome.
Abhijeeth Jun 2019
Today was a good day
Someday I will say
I have want for nothing anymore
At present I am exhausted for sure
I wonder how my journey will end
Failure has become my oldest friend
Walking with it has taught me compassion
Worries have become my constant companion
Realising it will never be real in my fiction
Spending the days chasing my ambition
Be careful not to get lost in that mess
Everyone has their own darkness
Most people are kind but
Someone once told me that
All I am now is a blunt knife
I must have a purpose in this life
That's a lie that keeps me up at night
I am content now, everything is all right
For this poem's meaning to be clear
Read from the bottom, start here
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
Tell me how to make you happy,
all the things I try backfire sadly.
I can't seem to find the right word,
to be the ray of light in your dark world.

Thousands of texts not sent
and so many words unsaid.
How do we say the right things,
help our friends with what life brings.

Everyone has their own demons,
their own way to deal with problems,
but it's tough to look at our fellow humans,
wearing their tired smiles and lying eyes.

We are cursed to be social creatures,
yearning for support and nurture,
if only we could find the right words,
to make the most of this beautiful curse.
Sometimes it is tough to know what the right thing to say. This poem is a reflection of my inability to find words to help my friend who is going through some tough times.
Abhijeeth Apr 2019
Lost in the middle of nowhere,
nothing but water everywhere.
How many hours has it been?
or days? since I was last seen.
How long have I been swimming,
my arms and legs are hurting.
I am starting to hear a voice in my head,
look at what he said while the sky turned red.
For how long can you swim against the tide,
let it go, you can't win every fight,
the sun is going down,
let these waves drown, your frown.
And for a while I listen and let go,
couldn't feel that pain anymore.
Oh voice, I can't feel anything friend,
will I see only blue in the end.
Not yet, my legs start kicking,
Up and up my fire starts burning.
The sun may have set on today,
but I will keep swimming for another day.
I realise I am only lost if i stop,
it's gonna be hard without a map,
stick to one direction and keep going,
I will reach the promise land, I will stop drowning.
Abhijeeth Mar 2019
A kid in a yellow shirt walked up a dusty road,
jumped past the concrete and ran towards the tree.
Stopped at a gate which was rusty red,
sign at the front said sacrifice is the price of entry.
Sat down and dropped his big blue bag on the ground,
the kid took his responsibilities out of it,
left it there, the gate opened with a creaking sound.
Kid in the dusty yellow shirt skipped past it.
Came across a cross road after a while,
there stood a man with a wise smile.
He said for a price I won't lie,
will show you the road to the light.
Kid gave him what was left of his small blue bag.
The wise man said take the road on the right,
you will need to walk till you find a white flag,
there you will find a mountain to climb with all your might,
and on that mountain is what you desire,
he smiled his wise smile and bid the kid adieu.
The kid knew he needed to get their before sunrise,
He ran so fast, it almost seemed like he flew.
He stood in front of the white flag till he found his breath,
One step at a time, looking up he started climbing,
made it to the top with a brown shirt and clenched teeth.
Laid on the ground, looked up and started searching.
Shining brightly in the sea of blissful darkness
without the concrete light to blind it.
He had only ever seen the sky which was starless,
now his eyes knew how the sky looked when shiny things filled it.
This poem is my way of expressing a journey in my life. It was my first trek and it was the first weekend in my life after a long time where I didn't spend it worrying about things. I just slept under the stars and all my worries were forgotten if only for a moment.
Abhijeeth Mar 2019
Sit down just for a moment,
shut out the world, ignore it,
everything else can wait outside,
this moment, it's just me and the light.
The thoughts, they keep escaping,
look at that reflection the light is making,
remember the story where I was the king,
remember this song, come let's sing,
for a while I let these thoughts roam,
it's just me and the light in this room.
Enough!, and the thoughts are empty,
it seems silly but this is my serenity.
In a bubble I am carried away,
it's my solitary moment of the day,
I wonder, do I spend enough time with me?
away from all the noise and distortion I see.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
Red was shy and serious,
had big dreams and ambitions.
Millions of thoughts occupied his head,
nothing but the best was enough for Red.

Yellow was a carefree joker,
had a big mouth, trash talker.
He was very good at faking confidence,
his biggest fear was losing all his friends.

Red and Yellow would fight all the time,
Red didn't like Yellow being content in life.
Afraid that he was jumping without a safety net,
Yellow said the challenges would destroy Red.

Red and Yellow are vastly different,
to each other they are still considerate.
Need them both as I walk through life, inch by inch,
Hello there, nice to meet you, I am Orange.
Abhijeeth Apr 2019
It's a never ending summer
Every year is getting warmer
Stuck in an oven
A/C on twenty four seven
Nobody seems too worried though
busy dealing with life you know
Never ending summer
It's the new normal
Air around us filled with dust and smoke
Majestic whales filled with plastic
Nobody sheds a tear
Why would you care
For you it's only a slight discomfort
it's not an immediate threat
Why should I care about the oceans
Why should I care about the animals
They mean nothing to me and my life
This world is mine and mine only right
I am not gonna waste my time
thinking about humanity's crime
And besides what could I do to help
I am just a simple man busy with his life
I am not gonna reduce plastic in my life
I am not gonna raise my voice
Let these animals suffer
I got AC in my ivory tower
So let's burn our resources
Use plastic to fill our stomachs
And when it gets warmer next year
Don't worry
It will just be the new normal.
Abhijeeth Feb 2019
This is the story of a boy,
spread his wings, thought he could fly.
This is the story of a man,
lost his feathers and sat back down.

He told everyone he would be famous,
grew up, realised he isn't Nostradamus.
He lashed out at everything and everyone,
lost all the battles that the boy would have won.

He is running away from everything,
the boy always wanted to be a king.
Where did it all go wrong,
he remembered being so strong.

Growing up isn't all that it's meant to be,
you keep getting knocked down constantly,
Man hit rock bottom, single tear in his eye,
the boy of autumn, he had lost his fire.

Don't worry, this wasn't the last chapter,
the man's life didn't end in disaster,
but that's the story for another day,
another chance for some wordplay.
This is a poem of a boy who thought he could be everything he wanted only to be thrown back down to reality as he grew up. It's the first part of a two part poem that I will write about disappointment,acceptance and redemption.
Abhijeeth Apr 2019
The sun went down,
blue clouds were gone,
the sky turned black,
lit up by a distant rock.
Stars as far as the eye can see,
I gifted one to each of my worries,
before long it was a starless sky,
but my worries continued to multiply.
I looked up at my friend in solitude,
the moon was laughing at me, so rude.

"So you are laughing at my expense?"
'I am laughing at the ridiculousness,
you had such a beautiful scenery,
sold it all to think about your worry,
now you sit here losing your present,
lost in your made up moments.
If only you could realise,
worries are a mind's cruel lies,
the worst things rarely come true,
yet they rule your mind fool.'

Maybe this stupid moon has a point,
I'll forget about my worries just for tonight,
One by one my worries fly,
the stars are back in the sky.
The moon had a smile bigger than before,
one day I will hear a knock at my door,
but whatever may happen does not matter,
as long as I have my company and laughter.
Abhijeeth May 2019
Nothing compares to wasted potential,
I dreamt I would fly and then I fell.
All the day dreams vanished in reality,
darkness sleeps on the path to clarity.

I couldn't find the map to my treasure,
I remember the day when I was so sure
that I will finally find my purpose,
now all I have is sadness in surplus.
On the shore I watched that ship sail,
I drowned my dreams in its trail.

Nothing compares to wasted potential,
the fear of being inconsequential
drove me to chase a wild dream,
got blinded by hope's high beam,
now I am back on square one,
I can't focus, I just want to run.

I will never forget those rejections,
I forgot sleep without self reflection.
I held my breath for so long,
only for everything to go wrong.
This has been a long and cruel summer
but calling it unfair would be a misnomer.

Nothing compares to wasted potential,
inspires in you a dread that's existential.
The voices inside me scream,
who am I? What is my dream?

— The End —