"Let me ask you something Mr Betts,
Have you ever tried not being a priick?
Or attempted to not mess up shhit?
Every feeding and helping hand you've bit
Sending 'em to but never making it to the hospital for a single visit
Bilt a bridge to get over it
Then, in the very next moment,
Turned to make sure it stayed lit
Not a one time incident
And punishments no longer a deterrent
It isn't, isn't it?
The troubling news is...you guessed it
Everyone's reclaiming their investment
Or eating the cost, willing to take the loss,
Adding more years before their retirement
Setting a telling precedent of embarrassment
One with an abundance of resentment
All the while, this battle internal is constant
Brought on ironically by an antidepressant
Raging against tendencies of a suicidal mindset
It's crazy how ugly things tend to get,
Within a quarter of a heart beat minus a minute
In other words, it's instant
Good luck, you're gonna need it."

©2024

I feel something missing from me
I have this empty, icy chest cavity
Where a something should absolutely be
But for the life of me
I can't think of what the contents use to be
I can't recall what I used to see
Back in the day when I looked in the mirror,
And the mirror looked back at me
I think it was something important ultimately
But there's definitely nothing there now so how important could what was there be,
I mean really
It doesn't appear to be a necessity
Maybe it was just an option in the creation recipe
Just figured since I'm working to put myself back together,
This time completely
I'd focus on the biggest vacancy
But I guess I'll just leave it be,
At least until it starts affecting me
We'll just have to wait and see

©2024

I don't know how I can write all this
Know all this
With a pinpoint, laser focus
Tuned so far into,
Most every issue,
I come out the other side of existence
To get a look at if from every angle,
This ain't checkers, this is chess
From biggest
To littlest
Catalyst,
To coroner visits
Call every witness
There's an obvious will,
To one day still,
Find a bottom to this
Accountability,
Twords the top of the list
While I skirt a bit of responsibility,
Let's be honest
But can't fold any of it into my healing process
So after all this,
And after being told it would absolutely aid in the progress,
I'm still a mess
Can't make it make sense

©2024

dwell on hate
you will be hateful
dwell on love....

If my words are worthy
And if they are a trail of stars
Let them lead me back to You
Do not let me stray too far

And when my heart is lonely
When my light submits to dark
Do not let me lose You
Do not let me stray too far