You were born of passion and intimacy
Your little soul was given shape when love was fresh and new
We didn't know it then, ignorant bliss we were in
But you were taking shape: creeping in like morning dew

The day we found your presence was one of joy and wonder
We had no idea how hard the journey, we would take it step-by-step
We looked forward to your coming, but we feared our imperfections
We did our best to plan ahead...but for new life, can one truly prep?

The weeks flew by, you grew and grew!
You were developing at an incredible pace!
Each tiny part was taking shape
First a heartbeat, then a face

Nine short-long months you lived in me
Our bodies knit together as one
Rumble, tumble, hiccup, kick
Never knowing if you were daughter or son

Then came the days of labor and travail
Labor of love, but painfully long
First in the home, then to hospital rushed
All for the moment you cried your first song

Music to my ears was your first little wail
"It's a girl!" was exclaimed as you were laid in my arms
My Melina, my sweetie girl, my precious one
From that first moment you had me charmed

They took you from me to clean you and warm you
Then brought you back to cuddle with me
Oh the agony when they found fault in your breath
And took you the second time from me

Empty arms in an empty room
It was a long, lonely night: that first night of all
I cried as I thought of how far apart...
Sepparated from you by dozens of halls

We spent several days waiting for you
Your recovery was quick, but felt so slow
The day we finally took you home
Made our hearts leap, skip, and glow

Now that you're here, there are no silent nights
My arms are filled with your ravenous self
But I would not change that, no not for the world
Though tired and insufficient myself

For this journey we've begun is teaching me much
I am selfish, impatient, and often unkind
But God gives more grace on this road of life
And your smile so sweet as you relax and unwind

I love you, Melina.

Imagine a world where no music rang
A silent place where no one sang
The rhythms of life all irregularly paced
Every word disjointed and out of place

Imagine a world where no music rang
No melodies on which our words could hang
No magic of harmonies weaving their colors gay
No soulful instruments for us to play

A world of lies
A world of sorrows
A world of ending our weary tomorrows

But now...

Imagine a world ringing with truth
A world full of hope and youth
A world where song readily swelled
And melody came as from an endless well

Imagine a world shaped by the the greatest song
A world full of choirs instead of angry throngs
A world where no strife of hate could endure
And every gesture was gentle and sure

A world full of grace
A world full of joy
A world where each life is meaningfully employed

Imagine the difference
Imagine the change
Imagine the day where we make the exchange...

Sometimes I feel afraid.

It's a childish thing at my age:
To fear darkness, emptiness, or blade
Or to cry over life's turning of a page.

Yet, here I am: tears wet my cheeks.
Here I am: I cannot sleep.

I mourn over lost days, months, and weeks
And with foolish faith I hide in blankets deep.

But growing up leaves blankets a poor comfort in the dark.
No "Teddy Dear" could ever hold all the sorrows in my heart.
No nightlight as a beacon; no candle, fire, or spark
No Mummy and Daddy to come and rend my fears apart.

I am alone tonight, and this knowledge cuts me deep.
I must face my fears at last and trust the Lord my soul to keep.

For if the lights do not go out, and darkness is never ours
We would never know the wonder of a sky full of stars.

When the entirety of my dreams collapse

When castles I've built up in sand become ruins in a heap

And weigh more than a mountain as they melt into the beach

And the waves come to pummel any of the remains

As the turning of the tide swallows up my fame

And the Son beating down turns all my selfish works to shame

What shall a soul, broken, battered and lost, do in the midst of such destruction?

Or who can heal a broken spirit that lies parched and vulnerable in the rays of noonday?

A perverted soul like mine withers in the face of such Glory divine

Glory of a hidden paradise, an island all mine own

Filled with wonderous sights to feed the eyes, and luscious fruits to feed the soul

And yet I sit upon the beaches, looking down at the dust

Trying to build something of worth out of the most worthless thing I've found

Not able to get up, to explore, or be at peace

And the one thing that keeps me here is my own prideful, ambitious sceme

I worked through the night, in the shelter of darkness

The bitter cold of night preffered to the cool of the Day

And now I see that it was all vanity

The tides of Love stay at bay for none, and are as fierce as they are lovely

And they wreck the best intentions built on the wrong foundation

At the end of myself, and the works of my hands, I see how foolish I have been

For none with sense would ever build a home upon the shore

And only the most perfect Love could breathe life into sculpted sand

Too weak to resist, I succumb to the roaring waves

I feel the tide pull the ground out from under me

This final surrender pulls me out into the deep unknown

A baptism of death to self, and a life so truely real
That when I rise back to the surface, I shall finally, really heal

Early Wednesday morning I rise and take a breath
I feel my life course through me, but tis a life of death
The sky shrouds itself in solemn mist, as if nature knows the story
How death was chosen over life, and ashes over glory

I sew a fragile garment to hide my shame from ages past
My crude clothing of smile-coated lies...instead of the outward garb of grass
Prepared for my funeral, with black, on black, on black
The golden cross hung 'round my neck shows whom I'm seeking, and says, "There's no going back"

I step out into a world that crumbles beneath my feet
To find sanctuary for my restless soul: a place with Christ to meet
A place where prayers have a scent, and holiness a sound
A place where I can touch my Rock, and feel my Solid Ground

I kneel down to confess my faults, all my own in a multitude
Alone I whisper my many faults, yet I know I'm not in solitude
For all fall short, all shall die, and all shall feel great pain and loss
Today, however, we remember that the ground is even at the cross

As one body we approach the altar, and kneel humbly at the rail
We feel the ashes fall down our face, so dead, so dark, so stale
I breathe the dust from which I'm made, remember my dying frame
Yet this cross of ash, this sign of death, whispers that I shall be born again

Your scarf on my neck
I close my eyes and inhail
Suddenly you're near

They say the most beautiful gems are the hardest to grow:
They are rare, precious, and unique
Their journeys are long, hard, painful and slow
But their beauty is of greatest value

They begin as any other rock, average and ugly:
Rough, pointed, and unrefined
Then circumstances pressure them, hold them snugly
'til in the heated heart of earth they are purified

Once formed, they must surface, they must be found:
Rooted, probed, and undermined
Rugged rocks from the cold underground
Are saved from the dark to be seen in the light

The sparkle is there, but still under the surface:
Remote, perdu, and unknown
Cut and ground to reach their true purpose
The glittering gems are at last revealed

When I look at this process, I see my own story
Fallen, broken, and remade
First dying inside, then raised up to glory...
You see my little gem beginning to show

Isn't it interesting...

How the trees reach up
And the stars fall down

...as if heaven and earth were meant to intersect?

I tried to approach, but you walked away
I wanted to love you, but you wouldn't stay
You wanted your heart out-of-reach and alone
So the warmth of touch wouldn't melt your cold stone

You stand there so near, yet so very far
You don't want the appearance of your "inner strength" marred
You laugh with your voice, but your eyes are still dead
The idea of feeling anything fills you with dread

Because you don't want the pain, you can't feel my hurt
You don't like to laugh because smiles disconcert
You'd rather be logical, right, and made out of stone
Than know how to love and how to be known

When the shadows deepen, the light is that much brighter.
When joy is scarce, how much more beautiful the laughter?

Darkness sweeps around me
Like the train of a robe
My footsteps tread the black sea
Of wooden planks that hold countless anaerobes

The smell is rich and potent
When I breathe deep the air
Filled with love, sorrow, and excitement
That brings back time from elsewhere

Every nerve inside me tingles
My heart beats a wild tattoo
My throat with my heart mingles
As my brain flashes last-minute reviews

Deep breath in, deep breath out
Suddenly, the lights are up
And without a shadow of a doubt
Nothing in my face betrays the buildup

Once upon a time, there was a young mother
She held her newborn in her arms
And being careful not to smother,
Kissed the face that held such charms

That baby grew into a child
And the mother savored every smile
Though sometimes sweet and sometimes wild
The mother was close through every trial

Then adolescence came and grabbed from behind
And the child began to change and grow
This new being was with many anxieties lined
But the mother slowly began to let go

The teen bloomed into a woman
Who one day married her true love
The mother looked on at the gentle man
And smiled through her tears as she thanked heaven above

Not long after, the mother did see
A new infant with face so soft and so sweet
Mother looked on daughter, who now would be
A mother who caressed small hands and feet

And once upon a time there was a young mother...

Contentment: a state of happiness and satisfaction

Here again I find myself
Always longing, always seeking
Trying to add myself to life's bookshelf

Even when I obtain what I think I want
And it seems I should be happy where I am
Some OTHER longing shows its face and taunts

I ever find myself straining at the bit
Seeking something I cannot find
Forever feeding the fire ambitiously lit

But maybe what I have is beautiful to see
Maybe I should pause a moment and reflect
On all the joyous blessings already given to me

There is a crisp chill in this changing wind,
As summer breathes its last and comes to an end,
As the sun dims the world seems to die
And a solemn tone touches the sky

As I meditate on this state of grave, lonely silence
I remember that this time brings nature to balance,
That winter-waiting will result in birth of spring
And once again the birds will come forth to sing

How beautiful to see this pattern replayed and repeated
And in my own life the pattern is completed
For as the seed must die before it gives,
So my own gasping frame must die before it lives

I am living the dream
Living my churning, yearning, ambitious schemes
Childhood castles in the air
Become a winding staircase to who-knows-where
Always higher, always more
Always a wish to beach another illusive shore
And yet, as I look upon what I possess
I feel one very sharp, painful absence
The one thing for which I crave most
Is still far from me, on some undiscovered coast
Eros, that love most fair
Still hides from me, though I sense her presence in the air
A dear and kind friend have I
To whom I would willingly give my heart's supply
But love (or its *******) is ever blind and blinding
And so his thoughts for me I have no hope of finding
And since Eros must live both ways
If he ever leaves, I will never have predicted him to stay
So I shall simply sigh and turn away
And live the dream while my favorite wish stays at bay

Who understands poets like us?
We see the universe in a person
We see sadness as a plus
We see the good when times worsen

Who can understand us?

We sit back and daydream
When others would despair
We grasp the magic of the moonbeam
Our hearts awaken to the fair

Who can understand us?

We put words to the artist's soul
We write the songs of bards
To voice the immortal is our goal
Of ancient legends we are guards

Who can understand poets like us?
Who can understand our hopes, our loves, or dreams except...
Each other

Dear Brother of mine, so far away
I think of you tonight as I kneel down to pray
Of your sorrow beyond words, of your heart fairly broken
Of how you feel "He" has drawn away love's token

Dear Brother of mine, my heart for you grieves
As the hope that seemed once to dwell in you leaves
I will not pretend your life has been easy
As so many "Christians" claim their lives are all breezy

Dear Brother of mine, I know grief in my own way
And so for your heart tonight I shall surely pray
May these prayers of mine be a warm hand to hold
As you suffer doubt in a world so cold

Leaves crackle as she slowly steps
She enters the glade, her magic she preps
She listens for the sound, first soft then strong,
This music is the Faerie Song

A smile creeps onto her face
As she observes the spider weaving her lace
This creature trims the gowns of Dryads
The velvity green of summer they add

The wind blows and they bow their respect
Their rustling applause goes unchecked
She pauses by one revered, acient tree's heath
And pats the small fawn resting beneath

On she glides, though the mists of twighlight
For ahead she sees a scene so bright
Dancing 'round an enchanted flame
Are the Faerie people, frolicking without shame

She steps into the light and all goes still
She throws back her hood that kept out the chill
The Fair Folk all bow as their clothes they brush clean,
"Welcome home, Fair Lady, our own gentle Queen!"

Down, down pours the rain
Producing on all a jewel-like stain.
Tear drops of Angels or deep sign of love?
Thundering fury or tranquil dove?

Each tiny drop glimmers with life
Creating a river to succor wildlife.
Now soft on skin, now harsh as rock
See how they shine on leaves of hemlock.

Down, down pours the rain
Pitter-pattering down the lane.
Hush, Dear Child, and do not cry,
Sleep to Nature's lullaby.