when did numb
become normal?

when did nothing
become something?

why does this weight
become lighter,
but crush me
break me
suffocate me
at the same time?

how can i explain
my problems
to you
if even i
do not even know
what they are?

anxiety
what a concept to grasp
it eats you alive
like a cancerous cell
trying to wear away at your bravery

it consumes you
suffocates you until you no longer are able
to gasp for air

my heart
it pounds
so vigorously
suddenly
i cant breathe
everything starts to shift
panic takes over
i'm suddenly overwhelmed
trapped
i feel myself breaking faster than my body can handle
i cry for help
but all i can do
is stare blankly
and not say a thing

5
                   a
               e      r
           y             s

since I joined hello
a larva with a torn soul
Clinging to Whatever's left of life

since I started scratching for light
Peeking at the  deeming tunnel
but still hoping

since I started dinning with poets
eating haiku in the morning
drinking sonnet in the afternoon
feeling the aching agony of the broken in the evening
falling in love with the dreamers at night

Since my heart was pounded
wrecked and left with unspeakable pain

Since Born was birthed
a crawling character that was literally dying
but still screaming for hope, love and dream

Since Ismael Ibrahim aka Born
stopped existing
and started living

I had a piano when I was a child
I didn’t know how to play
I slammed on keys repeatedly until it sounded like something that reminded me of music
Eventually, I learned chords
Eventually, I learned melodies
Eventually, I learned “Every Good Boy Does Fine”
And that “All Cows Eat Grass”
I played myself musical tunes on repeat
I wrote symphonies about how much you meant to me
I could base a musical all upon the Love I felt towards you
My lyrics were surrounded by the essence of you
My musical notes were dictated by how you made me feel on any given day
Nobody knows me like the piano at my mother’s house