I stand alone.
A ******* the side of a ***** road.
A pretty face.
An ugly smile.
People pick up the pace
When they walk by.
They don’t like seeing
The knife in my back.
It unsettles them.
As it should.
Children stare, their parents whisper,
“This is what happens when you let love ****.”
Then they walk past.
Pools of blood lay on the ground at my feet.
The wound is a waterfall,
A continuous spray,
Of regret.
Of better judgement.
Of self worth.
Flowing down my back in riotous shades of red.
Flowing out of my body and burning in the sun.
You didn’t break my heart.
You fixed it.
With your beautiful hands
And warm lips.
And you’ll come back for me.
Because it is yours.
And I’ll wait for you.
Until I’m a husk.
And then my smile won’t be ugly.
Because you will come back.
You will ease my pain with your touch.
You will heal the wound.
You will take back your knife.
And I will be yours.
Until you plunge it into my back again.
And even then, I won’t try to save myself.

i can breathe.
i can confidently say that with you,
i can be happy.
i'm happy.
you've been the best thing that's ever happened to me
and i know it seems like a big promise but
i promise to never leave your side.
i will be here,
supporting you
and loving you with everything i have in me
for your smile and existence gives me the strength to live.
i'm here for you,
i'm here because of you.
i'll forever be in debt to you and i'll make you proud.
happy birthday,
you've grown so much.
you're not afraid to love anymore.
happy birthday,
You are heaven sent.
you smell of honey and flowers.
your heart is as pure as snow.
there are galaxies in your eyes
and every time you speak it's like i'm seeing color again.
happy birthday,
because of you
i love,
i live.

i wonder if my name dances round and round in your head like a mantra
i wonder if it pops up in the middle of conversations, if you hear the syllables like a call to prayer
i wonder if it makes you wish you were dead
no; i wonder if it makes you wish i were dead
i wonder if you wake up in the morning and for a quick second you can't remember why you hurt
then loud and clear it shrills, ringing in your head, a reminder of your destruction
i wonder if they ask you why you look so burnt
i wonder if my name whispers itself into your ear but you stay silent
i wonder if it laughs when they tell you that love is the answer
i wonder if it cries when they tell you that love is the devil
do you stand straight like a soldier being called on to the battlefield
when you hear something that rhymes with it
or do you crawl into a hole within yourself and let the moment pass?
does it lull you to sleep late at night when the demons play
does it scream in your head when you're somewhere between life and death?
do you remember my name, my love? do you remember it soft, loud, and alive? do you remember my name, my love, do you remember it well? do you remember my name, my love, because it remembers you. do you remember my name, my love, because it has not forgotten you.