"i know you feel uneasy about the future but i'll be right by your side."
this,
this sentence in your handwriting meant the world to me.
looking ahead of me,
it doesn't seem dark anymore.
i've learned to not value my self worth based on my grades.
this is a huge thing for me.
do you know how many nights i've spent crying because of school?
i guess it happens to everyone but i almost left the world because my grades didn't match my needs or the teachers treated me like ****.
i'm learning to push those thoughts in the trash whenever they surface,
not to the back of my mind,
in the trash.
things are Very slowly,
but surely,
going to be okay.

there is so much i want to say
so many questions i would like to ask

it hasn’t been long since we talked
thought i still want to know how you are

i know some awkward things happened
and i don’t know how to label us

but did you keep the letters
or all those little things

i could see why you wouldn’t have
it’s okay if you didn’t

i know you’re probably confused and whatnot
and this might not help anything

but i just want you to know that i miss you
and i think about you all the time

and even though we were complete opposites
we got along so well and shared many laughs

i can’t fit the other 536374848 things
i want to tell you within this poem

but i hope we can become friends again
and maybe soon it feel regular?

it's my birthday.
i cried last night of the thought that i really made it another year.
the rain seemed to push me down so hard and i can't believe i'm still here.
walking with my friend yesterday,
i looked at her,
just by looking at her,
i knew that i should be here.
in that moment,
i knew i wanted to stay.
it's birthday and i'm --,
another year of breathing,
another year of crying,
another year of smiling,
another year of feeling like i was nothing,
another year of loving,
another year of me.
i don't know how to feel this year about myself yet
but
i'm here and that's all that matters.

why am i here?
people keep lying to me,
saying that this will all pass and before i know it i'll smile again.
i've tried everything to get better,
to be better.
but another year has passed and i wish it hasn't.