empty seas

empty seas Feb 2019

i can't breathe
there's a crushing weight on my chest
pushing and squeezing all the life out of me

i feel so utterly alone and helpless
desperately trying to feel okay
be okay
but it's so hard
when i'm so alone
so alone

im so tired
i have so much homework to do but i can’t stop doing things that are familiar and easy

#alone #no #friends #anxiety #sad #tired

empty seas Feb 2019

“Why?”

people hurt
they take your heart in their hands and squeeze the life out of it
but why

why do they lie
why do they say things that make you question yourself again and again

is it because they’re miserable
do they like to see the insercurity bubble up on others’ faces
or they just want to see you upset

i’m so confused
what is your objective
what do you want from me

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#why #help #anxiety #hurt #heart #emotions

empty seas Jan 2019

my dreams are only dark

i want to
fall asleep
let my body
shut down
let my brain
not think

i feel wired
on the edge
like a seam being unraveling
or a boat breaking apart in a storm
not gone
but going
not passively
but pulled apart

and even in my dreams i do not escape this

i sleep for a long time, but i always feel tired as soon as i wake up

#sleep #stress #anxiety #dreams

empty seas Jan 2019

12 days and counting

oh the clock ticks
tocks
towards my departure
new place
almost-new life
i’m terrified and excited

oh, how hard it is
to understand how
soon
it is

My visa got approved!! I’m so excited to leave my home town (hopefully along with some of this drama too lol)

#excited #happy #leaving #terrified