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Mister J Sep 2017
‘Heto na naman tayo’t nagbabangayan
Parating nagtatapat na magkabilang panig
Sinusubukang amuhin ang galit na nadarama
Pinipilit ayusin ang matagal nang nasira
Nandiyan ka na naman sa iyong sulok
Hindi mapigilang umiyak at magmukmok
Ako nama’y nandito sa kabilang dako
Pinupulot ang mga bubog na iyong binato

Ang mga sugat na matagal nang naghilom
Muli na namang binuksan ng mga sakit ng kahapon
Bakit pa ba natin binabalikan ang nakaraan?
Ang gusto ko lang naman ay ang ‘tayo’ ng kasalukuyan
Ngunit sa bawat titig na iyong binibitawan
Para bang ramdam mo pa rin ang sakit na ako ang pinagmulan?
Ano pa ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Para tuluyan mo na akong patawarin?

Isang patawad na paulit-ulit na lang sinasambit
Isang patawad na matagal na dapat pumawi ng galit
Ngunit sadyang ganon yata talaga ang tindi ng sakit
Kung kaya’t ang pagsusumamo ay dadahan-dahanin at ‘di na ipipilit
Mula sa nakalalasong relasyon ika’y aking pinalalaya
Sige na’t humayo ka, bumangon at humanap ng ikasasaya
Mahirap para sa akin na ika’y bitiwan na parang wala
Ngunit ito’y ginawa dahil kahit ganon ay mahal pa rin kita

Isang rason lang ang aking sasabihin
Isang rason na sana’y di mo limutin
Sa pagdating ng tamang oras sana ako’y maalala mo rin
At ang pag-ibig na pinanghahawakan ang maging tulay para ika’y bumalik sa akin
First ever Tagalog poem. First time writing in my native language. I'm pretty much nervous but I hope it's well-received. :)
Mister J Sep 2017
Why is everybody laughing?
Grinning ghoulish grins
Looking at me with piercing eyes
Like their cutting me in half

The voices are speaking again
Can you hear them?
Even when I cover my ears
They can still make them bleed

I have a problem with my mirror
Every time I look at myself
Even when I have the same clothes
Why is the face not mine?

How come whenever I try screaming
Screaming on the top of my lungs
Coughing out every cry for help
I'm still drowning in the eerie quietness?

I'm supposed to be depressed
Tears and blood pouring out my eyes
Why am I hearing my own laughter
And in the mirror, Why am I smiling wide?

I thought my insomnia was kicking in
I tried closing my eyes, rolling on the bed
only to find out that on the other side
I was already sleeping deeply.

Help me get out of here
This prison called my mind
It's playing games with me
Or am I playing games with it?

Nightmares are becoming dreams
Laughter raises the hairs on my nape
How will I make this right?
When I'm not in my right mind?
Ideas gushing out at 3am. I think I'm going insane. Haha
Mister J Sep 2017
The crystal moon glowed bright that night
The sky dotted with glistening starlight
The clouds drifting with the gentle wind
The rivers flowing in a symphonic stream

The forest trees looked strong and mighty
Towering all over the the mountain skyline
Yet in the cool breeze they seem to whisper
To soothe the ailing of a broken heart

She was alone, left cold and in the dark
Her quiet sobbing rings across the abyss
It seems every thing and being hears her pleas
Everyone except those who fell deaf, except me

Her tears were bursting like a raging river
Flowing with every frustration she endured
Her heart, once filled up by love for me
Swollen and bursting with all her angst

There I was, standing frozen like a glacier
My heart beating crazy, my mind going blank
That broken heart was on my bloodied hands
That broken smile caused by my poisonous lies

She, who found me at the times of my best
She, who stayed even when I was at my worst
She, who loved me all throughout my changing whims
And yet here I am, choosing to break her heart.

My only desire was to gain some worth
Setting aside what mattered to me most
I was stupid enough to cling to the temporary
as I pushed aside what was to be for a lifetime

So here I am standing in front of you
Choking on the pride I held for so long
Digging deeply within to find the courage to say
I'm sorry, I love you, please give me another way

Banish me from your heart if that is your price
Free yourself from my memories, both good and bad
But please hear me out, hear my humbled cries
Another chance is all I ask from you, don't say goodbye
Another Midnight post. :)
Mister J Aug 2017
Heart beating fast, throat feeling dry,
Butterflies in my stomach, Can't tell why?
Hands feeling sweaty, thoughts filled with sighs,
Head in the clouds, as if I'm up high.

Memories flashing vividly, like old movie reels,
Feelings forgotten flowing, like an old box unsealed,
Images of your smile that used to trigger these feels,
As if I'm back to that moment when my heart was revealed.

Its been a while since I last saw your face,
Last time I heard, you've made quite a change of pace,
I still remember how those eyes made my heart race,
While I kept thinking of how to have that smile fixed in place.

A madman, I truly was back then,
When I'd think of you, I'd grab paper and pen,
Poetic were my words, but only silence when my mouth opens,
My heart filled with admiration for this simple maiden.

No words can describe how I felt,
No words, guess I can't be helped,
Yet like a burning candle, hope began to melt,
With one strike, gone were everything I held.

After all this time, I picked myself up,
It was a lost cause, guess I wasn't enough,
I changed my pace even if it felt rough,
I went and moved on, kept the pressure up.

I thought facing you right now would be okay,
Yet here I am still thinking about what to say,
Should I start with a "Hello", "Hi" or "Hey"?
I give up, should it even matter anyway?

Out of nowhere, your voice echoed within me,
Resonating within every inch of my being,
That small voice that stole my heart quickly,
Revealing all my hidden, bottled up feelings.

I thought I can replace you in my heart,
Loosing this battle, This old love restarts,
Out they go, this feeling I carried so long,
Under everything I suppressed lies my love all along.

I still love you, endless as the moon and sky,
Still holding on, hoping that someday, you'll be mine,
My only promise is to cherish you, never to make you cry,
Will you give me a chance this time, sweet love of mine?
An old piece dedicated to an old, unrequited love.
  Aug 2017 Mister J
Isabelle
To you, love was about multitudes
To me, love was inordinate

“I love you” I would say
“How much” you would ask
-Lang Leav

You like specifics, you like to hear
How much I do, how much I can
But darling, my love is inordinate
I couldn’t quantify, it’s too lavish
Sometimes unconscionable
And multitudes is never enough
If you ever ask me again
I’ll ask you to count the star
On every galaxy
Until you loses track
I’ll ask you to count every grain of sand
On every ocean floor
Until you ran out of numbers
I’ll ask you to listen to my heartbeat
On every second of the day
Until the infinite of infinities ends
And if ever you asked me again
Of how much I love you
That’s my definition of “how much”
12:38 am poem. Inspired by Lang
Mister J Aug 2017
Anxiety plagues me
I can't seem to sleep properly
My mind stays awake
Even as my eyes are closed
Heart rate is pulsing up
Breathing becomes heavy
Am I drowning in the darkness?

Please don't say good night
Please keep me from dreaming
If I can only see you in my dreams
I don't want to wake up anymore
But the reality of us being apart
Drives me so insane that
I'd rather stay awake

You are the calm of my storms
You are the breath in my lungs
You are the dreams of my heart
You are the reality that I want
You are the good in my night
You are the best of my day
You complete me
Late night thoughts.  Hello guys. :)
Mister J Aug 2017
Falling
You keep me
Falling towards you
Gravity pulling me down
Closing in to you
Momentum too fast
I can’t think anymore
You’re pulling me in
I keep on
Falling

Falling
I’m falling still
Drawn to your charms
The innocence of your eyes
Lingering on my mind
Those tender lips
Warmly touching mine
Sinking in too deep
I can’t stop
Falling

Feelings
I can’t understand
What makes me stay?
Is it the passion?
The depression or desperation?
You got me cornered
Pushed to the limits
I can’t escape you
Why do I keep
Falling?

Failing
All my defenses crumbling
Why can’t I resist you?
You’ve broken all my doubts
You’ve calmed my storms
You picked up my brokenness
And made me whole
I can’t deny this anymore
For you I am
Falling

Fading
All my agony you banished
What else will you do?
You've kept me hooked
To the scent of you
Your body syncing with mine
In perfect harmony
The pleasure eats my sanity
Just let me keep on
Falling

Fallen
I am left addicted to you
What else can I do?
To please you is my vow
Your happiness is mine
Your lust sustains me
Your love brings me sanity
You are everything to me
And yet every day you still keep me
Falling
Midnight writing.
Last one for the day.
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