Is this casual?
Our long night talks and endless flirtations.
Talks about our future like we had a clue
Watching movies on a call, wouldn't do it without you
Is this serious?
Potential for love?
talks about nothing, for hours on end
I'm your darling your my beloved,
a helpless match.
No one makes me angry like you
passion in my eyes as I tell you that I love you.
I don't think you feel the same.
tell me that I am wrong.

I don't like anyone, especially you.
Some till up up in the clouds, next to you.
My eyes avert you, down on my knees
Drink till I ache, ditsy-stole
knock on the red door
I don't even like you,
against the wall
I kiss you until our lips are bruised
No-"take a shot"
"Just one more"
Isn't that what you came here for?
I see a face in the window
Stranger in the mirror
it is just a cig
drunk dance on the roof-
with you.
I thought I didn't like you
you're on my
your body sinks around mine:
places it doesn't belong.
I wish I didn't like it.
I wish it wasn't you.

I don't think I deserve you.
that is my honest truth.
what we have, it is more than I ever bargained for
I am not complaining. I just don't know what to do.
I ******* in love with you.

Hello.
Don't
Be
Afraid.
It
Will
Be
okay.
I know this for a fact.
My
logic
is
a
little
bit
cracked.
I
Promise.
I won't leave you.
No side of you could push me away.
No truth.
No fact.
You
Are
Stuck
With
Me.
unless you push me away

6 months is a long time.
A long time to be "just friends" with a hint of something else.
I love the time well spent.
I hate when I overthink.
When I go over every little thing you once said, pick apart the true and false.
try to tell if you meant those sweet little nothings.
Prove to me that you did.
Prove you didn't lie.
Please.
Please
please-
pleas-
I plead.
I plead with you to end this retched game.
I plead you to tell me. tell me how you really feel.
I am begging.
My knees start to bleed.
Bruised with my perilous plead,
I am sick. I am sick of playing pretend.
I am sick of saying that "everything is fine"
I play jump rope in between the line.
The line between fine and lie.
My feelings are undefined.
every changing. forever unrefined.
please.
6 months is a long time to lie.
a long time to repeat the same measly words
"what's on your mind"
"wyd?"
"how are you feeling?"
over and over.
I need truth.
actual answers.
I am begging.
the harsh ground digs into my palms as I lean over my thighs.
head to the floor as my tears soak the space underneath them.

I learned that you are poly on Friday
I learned that I will never be enough
I know that it is not your fault, I could never blame you.
It just hurts that I am not enough.
I now understand why you didn't want to make me "yours"
I get why you hated serious conversations.
I now know why you always seemed so busy.
I told you it is fine, but I can't help think about what could have been.
I know that we weren't even official, but I cried when you told me.
I feel horrible for lying, for saying that it was no problem at all.
I don't want you to feel guilty, for something that you can't even control.
I don't want you to think you hurt me, not at all.
Cause I am in love with you, but it hurts. just a little.
If you ask though, I am okay.
I haven't imagined a future we couldn't have.
I haven't cried myself asleep to the thought that you could leave.
I am not enough. And I guess... That is okay.

I tell you that I am falling for you, I know you don't feel the same.
I tell you that it is okay.
You say that I am jumping to false assumptions,
I explain you never told me otherwise.
You say that you cannot