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Liz And Lilacs Oct 2014
They once called me a prodigy,
Telling me of the great future
that they had planned for me.

I wanted to be free,
To do what I wanted,
To make my own future.

So I burned all my music,
And locked up the piano.
Stayed away from my life.

I can't bring myself to forget it.
I didn't realize I would miss it.
Perhaps they knew what was meant for me.
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2014
He was blue, she was rabbit.
He danced a waltz around her mind,
she could never quite escape his grasp.
Her fruitless attempts to forget
his hypnotizing colors left her broken.

He was blue, she was a rabbit.
She danced a waltz across his heart.
But he was azure, and could never love.
Cold and empty, he thought of her,
but the feelings never truly reached him.

He was blue, she was a rabbit.
She followed him through the flowery gardens.
He seemed everywhere at once.
Enchanted, she bounded across the dewy grass.
Her love was in the sky and in the flowers.

He was blue, she was rabbit.
He acknowledged her each time she passed,
But he was everywhere and could not love.
He watched from a distance as she pranced.
As he weeped, the rain fell and the rabbit hid away.

He was blue and she was a rabbit.
They could never quite be together
despite being in the same place.
For he was blue, the blue of the sky,
and she was a rabbit, a creature of the Earth.
Liz And Lilacs Mar 2016
Today a man told a **** joke.
Everyone laughed.
I stood there and thought about it for a moment
And then I asked,
"What is funny about that?"
The laughter stopped
and they stood there in silence.
The momentary silence of shattered illusions,
There was no answer
Because it wasn't funny
So why laugh?
Liz And Lilacs Apr 2017
The other day
my dad asked if
I am happy
and I didn't know
how I could answer
and I couldn't lie
but I couldn't worry him
there was a long silence
I took a deep breath
and said
I'm doing my best
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2015
She was my warm cup of tea
at midnight after a nightmare.
She was my fresh from the dryer blanket.
She was my favorite book,
a new glasses cleaning cloth.
She was sugar for my coffee.
She was beautiful,
But I could never say
I loved her.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
Your lip is split. Let me clean up the blood.

She backs away, her hand touching her lip. Don't touch me! This is your fault.

I never meant for this to happen.*

She glares at him, *Then why'd you let it?


He looks away, and doesn't answer. The silence weighs heavy in the air.

*That's what I thought.
It's easier to look at things from the outside.
Liz And Lilacs Jul 2015
Set me on fire already.
I've been waiting a long time.
Go ahead, just do it.
I won't scream anymore.
one last goodbye to end all goodbyes
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
How did you get my number?
Why are you doing this to me?
What did I ever do to you?
Why must you make my life such hell?

I guess you wanted to remind
me just how worthless I am,
when you weren't there to reinforce
the lesson with your presence.
Liz And Lilacs Nov 2014
How long did it take you to break me?
For it takes a second to break,
And years to fix.
Liz And Lilacs Mar 2015
"I can see everything,
All that was,
All that is,
And all that ever could be."

You are a speck,
A tiny spot
in all of time.
I just want you to be safe.

I know you feel big,
Like you can save everyone,
and everything,
But you cannot.

You are so small,
So insignificant,
But you are mine,
And I want you to be safe.

You may be a speck
In the eyes of time,
But to the bad wolf,
You are everything.
Liz And Lilacs Apr 2015
Sometimes,
I don't feel much.
Cold and emotionless,
Unsympathetic.

But other times,
I feel every last drop of emotion.
Like my body is on fire,
Too much.

Everything is so frightening.
Tip the scales...
and let me
*balance
Liz And Lilacs Jul 2015
There's only one bullet in the gun.
Click in the chamber
Which way does it go?
"This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper. "
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2014
He called me beautiful.
"You're so beautiful", said he.
It should have been sweet,
a compliment to flow off one's tongue,
but I knew what he wanted.

His lustful lies are empty
to my delicate heart.
I know better than to fall
for the charming prince
with the beautiful words.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
When I asked him why he said such cruel words,
He told me he did it out of love.

When I asked him why he threw things,
He told me he did it out of love.

When I asked why he threw a bottle at me,
He told me he did it out of love.

When I asked him why he hit me,
He told me he did it for my own good.

When I asked him why he forced me,
He told me to get out of his sight.

When I asked him why he choked me,
He told me to die.

I guess the answer isn't always
*because I love you.
Did you think this was going to be a romantic poem? Looks can deceive.
Liz And Lilacs Apr 2016
He laughs at the way
I make lucky paper stars
When I'm anxious
or scared
or sad
or lonely.
He thinks it's cute,
Or so he says.
But when he sees me making them
He comes to sit with me
And I've started to fill
jars of stars
A lot slower
Because I like his smile
when he sits with me.
We're just beginners at trusting.
Liz And Lilacs Jul 2015
The world is obsessed with forced positivity
and everyone is afraid to feel anything else
for fear that their emotions are wrong,
invalid,
unjustified,
because you're not allowed to feel
anything but
happy
Happiness isn't the end game of life
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
If I told you I was happy, would you believe me?
I mean, I smiled, didn't I?
But you didn't see the scars
Or the bruises...
The red, tear stained eyes
The ****** torn cuticles
The anxiety attacks
You didn't hear the thoughts
screaming in my head.
You didn't see the poetry,
Or the sadness etched in my soul.
But you believe me, right?
I'm happy.
Believe me.
Please?
Liz And Lilacs Nov 2014
Do you hear the bells ring?
For I hear them,
on this the day of death.
Sand blows in the wind,
the bells toll and never stop.
Can't you hear them?
Everything is ending,
we will not survive.
The bells warn us,
Why don't you hear them?
You must be lying!
I hear them clear as day!
The bells are ringing and
we will die!
The bells, they...
The sudden end is intentional.
Liz And Lilacs Nov 2014
Between the silences is the pitiful exchange
We sit, stiff backed, in plastic chairs.
I don't want to talk to you,
your attempts to make conversation
are all but ignored.
Tight lipped, I turn away.
To think you could make me better.
Liz And Lilacs Jan 2015
My soul
            burns
                         for freedom
                                               of the mind.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
I love to watch my skin part.
The way it gives,
Like paper.
The ink oozes out,
This deep red color,
Like the mistakes I've made.
Write a novel in my skin,
For we are walking stories
And it only makes sense
To write it down.
Sorry, urges and such. Don't get triggered. I'm sorry.
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2015
You say it is heaven
when I let you touch me,
So I ignore the way your
whispers sound like demons.
I'd let you drag me to hell,
If only to be called an angel.
They say it's my fault.
That I should have seen the red flags, the warning signs.  Maybe I did... But I also saw day break in the darkness.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
I cannot remember
the last time
Somebody
            Made
                    Me
                       laugh.
Blithe: showing a casual and cheerful indifference considered to be callous or improper.
"a blithe disregard for the rules of the road"
Blithe sounds like a sad word but it doesn't mean sad... It's a strange word.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
He has the most blue eyes I have ever seen.
I will not compare them to oceans, or the sky.
They are blue, like sadness,
Or ice, the sweet kind that you eat in the summer.
I don't usually look him in the eyes.
I'm afraid of him, understand.
But when I do, his eyes never match his words.
His eyes belong to someone who is sad like me.
They belong to him, though, and his words are sharp
and his voice threatening, but his eyes,
They leave me confused.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
the other day,
i saw another teenager.
His lips were blue,
and his skin was pale.
Scars peeked out from under his sleeve.
It was like looking in a mirror.
But what could I say?
I  know from experience that words can't make it better.
A split second, our eyes locked.
But I turned away,
and walked out the door.
What could I have done? Another bad decision.
We can try to heal ourselves with words, but i bleed words and it is not my tourniquet. The words aren't fixing anyone.
Liz And Lilacs Jul 2015
To be honest,
when I ran my hands through the flame,
I somewhat hoped that I would catch fire
and turn to ashes,
to blow away in the wind
and never come back.
*but it just burned
Liz And Lilacs Mar 2015
Let it die,
Stop with the sunlight,
The water,
The care,
It's a hopeless case.
Once the rose is cut,
All it can do is wither.
It's too late to save it,
Just let it die.
I thought this kind of looked like a vase but I didn't mean to do that.
Liz And Lilacs Jul 2015
I don't want to burn my bridges,
what if I still need to cross them?
I know they're all using me.
Tell me to stop being a pushover.
They come to me when they need something,
but when I'm falling apart,
it's always alone.
All the kings men couldn't put
humpty dumpty together again.
How am I supposed to do it by myself?
Is this a one way bridge
that I have jumped from?
It's only a case of loneliness.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
Bruises take a long time to heal,
They get worse before they get better.
Black and blue,
Here I am, hiding them,
Yet again,
I feel like a criminal
Hiding evidence.
I've done nothing wrong,
Except be me.
I would give anything,
Everything,
To not be me.
Everything I write lately is ****.
Liz And Lilacs Nov 2014
I wrote a poem,
just so I could set it on fire.
I hope my words burn
in your soul
and set your mind a light.
Remember me,
when the embers go out.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
I sat on the swings
and stared at the sea,
dragging my toes in the sand.
Where has life gone?
It seems to have passed me by.
The ocean sways
and life goes on
forever perpetual
by the sea.
It's unseasonably warm so I went running along the shore and found an abandoned beach with an empty swing set. Makes you think.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
I can't, I can't, I can't

Breathe
Don't get the blades.
It's okay that you ate,

If he comes back...

Stop panicking.
Calm down. Calm down.

I can't, I can't, I can't
Liz And Lilacs Jun 2015
Let me hear a lie,
to ease the bitter taste
the truth has left behind.
Lies taste so sweet,
sickly and sticky and sweet.
Tell me everything will be okay.
Tell me it gets better.
Let me hear a lie.
I can no longer tell if I'm an optimist or a cynic
Liz And Lilacs Jan 2015
I never could tell the difference
Between love and lust and hate.
They all combine into
a mess of pain and fear,
But that's all I have known
for love to ever be.
I mistook kindness for caring,
Made some wrong turns,
And found myself in Stockholm.
Because I could never tell the difference
Between love and lust and hate.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
While fate is cruel,
Chance is graceful,
Desperately trying to grant us
a reprieve from fate's cruel ways.
Liz And Lilacs Nov 2014
I run my finger across my lips.
They used to be soft and delicate
but this cold has frozen them.
My heart and my lips
seem to be chapped.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
It's been a long night,
The lavishly dressed rich, with their expensive clothes,
party like there's nothing wrong in the world.
I hide my bruises, and offer hors d'oeuvers.
Servitude has not been kind.
Mistakes are not tolerated.
Life as a servant has left me feeling like a lampshade,
Useful, but rarely noticed.
I offer a convincing smile,
They prefer to ignore the sadness.
They drink away the pain,
And party away life.
Life's more playful,
If you pretend nothing hurts,
This came from a prompt to use the words: bruises, lampshade, and convincing.
I don't want to name it.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
I've always loved Alice in Wonderland
When I was little,
I thought it would be a grand adventure.
Even now, I'd like to fall down that rabbit hole
And never look back.
If a cat can grin that big,
They must have a secret.
The secret of happiness.
Liz And Lilacs Mar 2015
When I was a child,
I asked my father,
"Why do the seasons change?"
and he told me about the world turning,
and that was how it is.
He didn't really understand.
I wanted to know why;
why the snow never lasted,
why the leaves always fell,
why the sun never stayed?
I couldn't understand
why nothing ever lasted.
Liz And Lilacs Mar 2015
The little girl was sitting on the wall,
Looking down on him with hate filled eyes.
You broke the world, she said.
And he didn't understand.
But who ever understood anyway?
I don't know.
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2015
I hope you grow up innocent.
Liz And Lilacs Apr 2015
You asked me how I felt
and I'll be honest;
I feel like ****
which you didn't want to hear
But it's your own fault
For asking
What you
Didn't
Want
To.
Liz And Lilacs Jan 2015
The prince pecked my cheek
and led me away to his chambers.
A simple young maiden, meek,
Is what he saw in my eyes of embers.

Royalty always expected the best,
He didn't understand that I said no.
Said I to him, "Give it a rest"
He saw his faults and let me go.

Freedom was not true,
Not in the empire,
Out of the blue,
I was in the fire of desire.

No one says no to the prince.
Save yourself, just nod and wince.
The rhyme is a bit forced.
This wasn't supposed to be so dark, but all the romance I write ends up very unromantic.
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2016
Life is full of choices.
So how do I know
if I'm making the right one?
Liz And Lilacs Apr 2015
No matter how many times
I scrub my skin,
I still feel *****.

No matter how many
layers I burn away,
I still feel contaminated.

I cannot wash away your touch.
I can still feel your lecherous hands
and I hate it.
Liz And Lilacs Oct 2015
My friends often say it was close enough
But close enough is just like almost
and close enough...
wasn't enough
Liz And Lilacs Sep 2015
I read somewhere
that we dream in
              Black
          and
white
       So,
           why is it
that my dreams are vivid,
                         and life is dreary,
          only colored with
                              crimson blood stains?
Liz And Lilacs Jan 2015
When I was little,
I wanted to hold the clouds,
to feel them,
to touch the unreachable.

I asked my father if I could,
and he told me,
They were water vapor,
I would never be able to hold them.

But i still reached for the sky,
hoping that he was wrong,
I hoped that maybe someday,
I would rest my head in the clouds.
Liz And Lilacs Feb 2016
My dad used to tell me
"You can't be a robot  and
hide your feelings forever."
But it didn't stop me from trying.
Someone else told me
"You're gonna catch a cold
from the ice in your soul."
Looks like I succeeded at
hiding my feelings.
Liz And Lilacs Dec 2014
Authors do so love to romanticize cold hands.
Saying thing like:
"He used to rub my hands to keep them warm."
"He always held my hand to keep it warm."
Those are lies.
Nobody wants to share you coldness.
No one wants you to touch them,
Not with your cold hands.
And when they get painfully cold,
And your hands are stiff and red,
No one will be there to warm you back up,
I would know.
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