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Oct 26 · 69
Kat
Kenji Oct 26
Kat
Lines and lines, druggy times.
Bleeding nostrils and racing thoughts.
Fast heart beats and feeling distraught.
Alert and awake, thoughts are chasing me in a maze.
I've lost it, I'm back on the powder.

They call me Kat, because my spirit animal is one of a cat like creature, and my drug of choice.
Fierce, sneaky, stealthy, and mischievous.
Kat is my name, one of many different personalities.
Freaky is her demeanor.

Wired and full of energy, mind is coming down, muscle spasms are happening.
I need to sleep, 2 in the morning and I'm writing forbidden thoughts.
Dreams that are nightmares that aren't stopping, I have no hold.

Will it ever stop?
Control before it becomes an addiction.
Hold, or the demons will rain, toxic tears to my waking existence.
Sep 2 · 216
Happiness
Kenji Sep 2
Thoughts of you no longer filtrate.
I am happier, emotionally free, and mentally stable.
Travelling to another city and getting to a state of mental happiness is exactly what I needed.
I want you to be happy, but I promise you will never see me or hear from me ever again.
I'm done with your toxicity and emotional games.
You've crossed my boundaries and theirs no going back.
I've moved on...
I've read old poems that I wrote about you, shocked about the toxic emotion I portrayed, how could I have been so unhappy?
I am free from my feelings of you,  I am free from the unwanted thoughts of you, I have control over my emotions, and living in this new city is an option, and I'm taking it.
You no longer hold me back, and I can truly let you go.
I am no longer emotionally trapped by you, and it feels,
AMAZING
Free
...
I am HAPPY, because, I truly love myself, and I finally found my peace.
Aug 28 · 149
I almost died
Kenji Aug 28
I woke up, in hospital, the visions and dreams I had were scary.
Some were real, some were not.
I thought the dream of actually being in hospital was a nightmare.
Then I realized, the suicide attempt didn't work.
I vomited everything out, but some of it is still in my system, making me very drowsy, this isn't a poem, it's a confession.
I attempted to **** myself, but it wasn't the right time.
I have faint memories of what happened.
Most of them were scary as I was drugged on the medication, seeing delusions that weren't real.
I won't do it again, I learnt my lesson.
My mom brought me home, to keep an eye on me and give me direction, I'm doing well, yet, still very drowsy and nauseous.
She flew all the way down to see me in hospital, I was in ICU for 3 days.
I almost died, if I closed my eyes before the ambulance came, I would've.
That was the point, but, it was all an illusion.
Never overdose on your prescribed bipolar meds.
Never overdose on anything.
...
Never attempt suicide
Aug 23 · 238
Longing death
Kenji Aug 23
When people find out they have a certain amount of time left to live, it breaks them.
When a loved one passes away, regrets start pouring.
Unspoken words filtrate and reminiscing of memories elaborate.

****** up, ain't it.

If I had a certain amount of time left to live, I would use it wisely.
I would be happy, because life to me is pointless, I'm not suicidal, or maybe I am.
But I would rather die.
If I had cancer, I would suffer in happiness, hoping not to get better.
Honest thoughts, I WANT TO DIE.

Easiest suicide method, a gun to the head.
May take a few minutes to bleed out and die afterwards, but where to get a gun with such little cash.

Life is an ongoing cycle of pain, loss, betrayal, and abuse.
I AM SICK OF IT

Physically, mentally, and spiritually drained.
Emotionally abused and always taken advantage of by toxic people.
I need help, but I don't want it, because when I'm happy, it starts again.

**** ME

The pain and hurt and loneliness I feel inside is not worth it anymore.
I cannot do this anymore

POINTLESS

No motivation, no will, I have nothing left to live and be grateful for.
My sacrifices mean nothing and I am just a worthless burden to all.
Aug 22 · 424
Brutal pain
Kenji Aug 22
It shouldn't hurt this much to be your angel.
It shouldn't bleed this much to be your guide.
It shouldn't pain this much to love you.
It shouldn't scar this much to be by your side.

I'm torn between obsession and hate, for the mess that we made.
But, they come, they go, so replaceable.
I can only have you in my dreams, it seems.
Because reality strikes and you leave me in pieces, ripped apart, wounded, my wings, fallen off, I am burning in loathe.
Aug 18 · 156
Power
Kenji Aug 18
Choose one:

- A vampire needing blood, because they lose their power. So, they
  **** people and torture humans in order to get it.
- A fallen angel needing love, because it loses power. So, it manipulates, charms, and leads people into falling in love with them so can steal their heart.

ALL FOR THEIR OWN GAIN

                   Power
Kenji Aug 16
Can I love again?
Is it worth my dying consumable pain?
Can I reach out, so you feel me?
Can you touch me, so I feel you?

Can, I love again?
Can I become you ...
Aug 13 · 476
She speaks
Kenji Aug 13
The glass on the stone, the peace in her eyes.
The emotion of her soul, and the serenity in her mind.
The way she speaks, of utter conscience.
The way she perceives, of deep imagination.
Holds her words in, and grasps morality.
Holds her tongue, and justifies her thoughts.
An angel, a goddess, of silky wavy locks and intelligence.
She speaks of wisdom, philosophy, greatness.
...
She speaks revolution.
Aug 13 · 885
The woman in my head
Kenji Aug 13
Her lips, soft as velour.
Her skin, silky to the touch.
Her thighs, trembling in slow motion.
The velveteen curtains in between, was left to be desired.
I looked at her, pupils dilated and a moan begging for more.
Passion in emotional intimacy, kissed her neck, teased her sensations.
****** her skin and bit her thigh, licked the lips and hit her spot.
Yearning for more, succulent to the touch, she held me close, like her wet dreams were a future vision.
Hazel eyes, olive skin, chocolate hair, and an earing on one ear.
Her kisses, luscious and sweet, long and mesmerizing.
I longed for her taste.
Libra was her sign, yet, dark was her mind.
Gently enticing and exotic to the touch.
Hair long and flows like a river.
I long for her in my dreams and waking nightmares.
Slim body and a fruity classical scent.
The woman in my head, I see you in other dimensions, like my soul calling out, for you.
             ...
Where are you?
             ...
Woman in my head
I see you, in my dreams. If you read this, message me please.
Aug 9 · 311
Can I love again?
Kenji Aug 9
I don't deserve a love like that, that cuts so deep is anguishes your desires.
That burns so low it heightens the flame.
That hurts so intensely it labels pain.
To love one so passionately and intuitively, it cradles your nightmares.
Becomes of existence to your placid dreams, awakens a mystery and becomes the soul.
The love that ravishes your mind, holds your body still, and kisses you aggressively like an ****** pill.
A love that plays with your heart, cuts it open, and leaves it bleed to despair.
No one deserves a love like that, it's nerve twitching and scary, it leaves you hanging on to the last thread like, where do I go next?
It leaves you wondering of your worth, making you see what a burden you are.
It leaves you questioning your hope, as if faith really is the answer.
It breaks you down like a thin branch about to break.
It rips you apart and scars your flesh.
Wondering, am I worth this pain?
Am I worthy to love again?
So cold, so evil, it withers up inside, creating a storm.
Can I love again?
Love is poison, smoke it.
Jun 12 · 266
Depression
Kenji Jun 12
****** over it all.
Don't even give a **** anymore.
**** everything.
*******.
**** it.
Bored, depressed, hopeless, toxic.
Empty, numb, cold, alone.
**** Astrology, **** Spirituality, **** Love, and **** him.
Everything I loved, is long gone.
I don't give a **** anymore.
I feel stupid, worthless, shameful, sad.
No motivation, no will, no energy, no self love.
Just loathe, feelings of helplessness, drained, exhausted.
**** it
Kenji May 30
I'm sorry, but I have to leave you.
There's gonna be a day when we gonna drift away from each other either way.
There's gonna be a day when I have to move on.
There's gonna be a day when it's gonna be too late for you to confess your true feelings.
There's gonna be a day when you will become another distant memory like my buried past.
There's gonna be that day when you didn't realize what you had, until it was gone.
I'm sorry for lying to you, deceiving you, telling you I moved on and got over you when all I really did was bury my feelings for you deep inside.
I love you.
So much, not the point it hurts like it used to.
To the point I have to let you go.
I want you to be happy.
But at the same time, I need you, and I don't know why.
Overthinking to the point melancholy becomes you.
Living in sorrow and burying everything you feel deep inside.
Tears roll down from my eyes.
I'm sorry for loving you.
I'm sorry for lying to you.
I'm sorry for feeling guilty.
And I'm sorry for always being the apologetic one.
To my best friend ...
May 29 · 641
Aphrodite Lover
Kenji May 29
Confessional poetry has me spillin.
Secrets for the world to see, yet no shame in hiding it.
I may be unfaithful, scattered, and indecisive.
But once you have my loyalty, it never fades.
I will sacrifice to protect and keep my loved ones safe.
I will devote myself to you fully with a key to lock it.
I will love you so deeply and passionately, a basic **** will be an earth shaking, love making explosion magnitude of intensity and sensuality.
Highly ****** but unconditionally loving.
I will be your ****, your wife, your chef, your doctor, your exotic dancer, and your partner.
I will ride with you, and die with you.
Explore with you and take daring risks with you.
The goddess of love, Aphrodite is her name.
She is within me, feelin warm and fuzzy.
I will make you feel beautiful and strong.
I will motivate you and lift you.
Cheesy as I may be, my heart and soul will always be yours.
I confess and write in sin, but my love has no end.
I will be your ying yang twin.
The love of a Taurus
May 27 · 1.4k
Confessions of a Sinner
Kenji May 27
I lie, I deceive, I guilt trip, I am unfaithful.
I use, I manipulate, I cover up, I am unforgivable.
I have no shame in what I do.
It's like playing a game of chess, strategically formulated for the ones who cannot see through.
I love one, but it's never enough.
I need more.
I am hungry for the chase, the game, the adventure, the thrill.
I confess in guilt.
Guilt, my main negative feeling.
Hesitation, I dance with the devil in sin.
Sent to hell for lust and lies.
But hell has a special place for me, the throne.
I have sinned enough to deserve such a title.
So secretive, nobody knows.
My motives are locked, my intentions don't need to be told.
Feeling so numb, so detached, my feelings for you are so gone, I question why I wanna still see you again.
Then I remember, we are best friends.
The trap of getting bored so easily all the **** time, just wanting the next best thing, again, and again.
It's a cycle.
I don't deserve true love.
For I am a sinner, who has confessed my guilt of hidden shame.
Venus in Aries
The Warrior Seductress
Venus: Planet of love and harmony
Aries: Impulsive, quick, bored easily, likes the chase, seeks the thrill, adventurous, aggressive, bold, risk-taker, ***** *****.
May 26 · 1.9k
Lust Potion
Kenji May 26
Take a sip, take a hit, take a drag, take a sniff.
Mix it up, lose yourself in your sins.
Take this lust potion baby, move that slow motion.
Just take another sip, lean, trip.
******* to the floor, playing with my hair, fingers like a web.
Just listen, red eyes in a room full of lies.
I know you bite, I need it, take a sip and feel free.
Just take another sip, and we'l lean.
Oooooh baby, stick down to the ground, I need you on the floor. knees to the ground.
I know you feelin, the same way that I feel and I know this is for real.
He says hes feelin, that feelin, that we're feelin, and he want it bad.
Just take another sip, and we'l lean.
Mushrooms got us trippin, got you rollin on the floor, laughing, passed out, then I **** you.
Papi like it good.
Call me baby while I give it like I should.
Put a spell on you, a lust potion.
Take it, sip it, eat it, **** it.
How did I get like this?
Voodoo lust.
You think this lust we have is normal?
It's passionate, hard, ******, intense, sinful, unapologetic, desirable, sensual.
Pull my neck from the back and choke me harder daddy.
...
It's my voodoo magic baby.
My lust potion
May 23 · 796
Voodoo Revenge
Kenji May 23
Mixin' up these potions, entering the snake bite into my veins.
Playing you like a puppet as I unleash the venom.
Tell me how it tastes...
Lick it, **** it.
Voodoo dolls playing games at your feet and controlling you like you have nothing to hold onto.
I'll have you, and own you.
I'll be your worst nightmare.
Feel my pain, tormenting you.
Infect you, I'll kiss you, I'll **** you.
Consume me, consume me, consume me.
Bite my venom into you neck as you howl in pain.
Like a frost bite, ice cold as the teeth sinks in.
Worship me, your dark goddess.
Voodoo.
Pinching needles through your chest and laughing at your cries.
Aching, the pain throbs.
The pain you made me feel, back onto you.
She cheated you, the next one died.
Who's doing was that?
Karma?
Step on the glass, staple your tongue.
Cries become mere whispers malevolent to your despair.
Eating cotton candy as your heart begins to tear.
Apart.
I wanna, end you.
Why arn't you scared of me?
Voodoo tricks and mind game master.

North node and Pluto in Scorpio.
-Passionate and deep
-***, death, and transformation

Ascendant and Black moon in Gemini
-Socially jittery
-No sense of self
-Two opposite personalities in one
-Challenging opposites
-Promiscuous
May 16 · 825
If sheets could talk
Kenji May 16
<You're not *****, you're hungry
and the flesh you taste is not the one you choose

It's a darkness and a light
A salve and an open wound
Bodies mix and twist

You don't want to be ******
You want to be satiated

And if your sheets could talk, darling
They tell of the loneliest *******

Paint yourself blue and bleed out
Sensual sins succulent like honey
Licked lips waiting for more

Darling there's never enough

>If sheets could talk, they would whisper sins.
Your voice of calm magnetic enigma, yet, your body screams for more.
You pull me, twist me, wrap around me, riding me.

Lonliest ******* of a saint waiting to be loved.
Instead, ******* the wrong, and bleeding with pain.

Love me, she says. Hurt me, she says. choke me.
Sensual, and so seductive. You pull me in.
Daddy... She screams

There's never enough, she just wants more, she pleads with a hungry heart, because he can't love her like she wants him to, so sin, succulent like honey, is what she needs to choose.
A collab written by me and Jack Jenkins
A beautiful piece
Me >
Jack <
May 16 · 1.1k
Breathe on me
Kenji May 16
Too much synchronicity...
I feel you.
Your touch, your taste, your kiss, your skin.
Knocking me is the way to go, just put our lips together, and blow.
Baby, just breathe on me.
Blow on my soft flesh and kiss.
Lubriciously, lusciously, lustfully.
Breathe on my taste, my touch, my sin.
We don't even need to be physical, tonight, my senses don't make sense at all.
Our imaginations...
Take it in, let it out...
Baby, just breath on me.
Seductively, sensually, sexually.
We don't even need to touch, just breathe.
Baby.... **** yeah.
(Moans)
Feel my sin as it's desire that I unleash.
Magnitude, corresponding with your aching thought of impure lustful intention.
Intention, feel me grasp onto your every nerve with my non-physical touch.
Caress me, hold me, baby, don't even **** me, just breathe onto my neck, my shoulder, my breast, my stomach, my *****, my thigh, my legs, my ***.
Can you feel it?
As I mind *******, it's that tingling sensation I release.
Aaaaaaah, baby, stop, and just breathe.
Britney Spears _ Breathe on me (Inspiration)
May 14 · 185
Coming Down
Kenji May 14
"I got something to tell you, but don't know how I'ma say it
I guess that I could only say one thing
Boy, I been bad again, Boy, I been bad again
And I use 'em
When I'm faded I forget
Forget what you mean to me
Hope you know what you mean to me
Pick, up your phone
The party's finished and I want you to know
I'm all alone..."
...
I been using them to distract me.
I been using them for fun.
But, the parties finished, and I want you to know, I'm all alone, and I always want you when I'm coming down.

Addicted, to fun like it's a drug.
I take what I like and I like what I take.
But, I always just want you, when I'm coming down.
Baby, don't leave me.
Don't be angry, they not important.
You are.
I need you, not them.
They just toys, but you something special.
I am rather secretive and discreet about my intentions and motives, I don't tell, I don't whisper a word.
I do this sin, without anybody knowing.
No one, but me knows.
I just, always want you, when I'm coming down, daddy.
Wanting him, when I've sobered up
May 13 · 760
The life of the Party
Kenji May 13
I think I'm ****** gone, rollin on this floor.
Messin up the carpet, I'll get on it after 4.
Obsession to the form.
Can't believe I made it, But I made it, that's for sure.
They don't want my love, they just want my potential.
Baby if you knew, the feeling I would give to you.
I'ma play you like a game boy, don't want one, what's the thrill of the same toy.
But it takes one night, to prove, the feeling I would give, to you.
The more I have, the more numbness I circum.
The less emotion involved, the more fun I have.
Addicted to the thrill.
Fun inspires me.
I've always been the **** one they all want.
I give them what they need, but never what they can have, because, I will simply leave.
Leave you wondering.
...
Life of the party.
I go down town with the drugs in my body, filled to the top, pain buried.
I taste it, then I throw it.
Welcome to the other side, lust.
Baby step outside your mind.
Just take it down low.
If you wanna do it baby, I'm ahead with you.
You can follow me...
Take that step, you're the life of the party.
...
I got two ladies, I got one little room, there's a room full of ******, baby what you wanna do
... ?
***, drugs, lust

Black moon (Lilith) in Gemini

Lilith:
-Adams first wife
-Rejected by God after it was found that she was stronger and more intelligent than Adam and she would not obey the commands of Adam.
-Demon

Gemini:
-Manipulative, joker, promiscuous, twisted, trickster, unstable, sense of self battle.
May 13 · 176
Too good
Kenji May 13
I might just be too good for you, or you too good for me.
So immune to love, so unchangeable.
Will you take me in?
You did many things, that I liked.
And your name deserves to be in my heart.
But you sleeping with a frozen heart and it belongs to someone else.
You made me feel so real, so unacquainted.
You brought the thrill, the risk, the rush.
I live for danger...
I haven't been around town in a long while, with you.
I apologize, but I've been trying to get over you by seeing them.
And you wished me good luck, to find somebody to love.
Honey please, don't leave.
I just might be too good for you.
Unrestricted, so priceless.
I'm everything.
I deserve it.
...
Take me in
The Town _ The Weeknd (Inspiration)
May 9 · 317
The Beautiful Liar
Kenji May 9
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but chains and whips to cover the truth.
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but wounds and scars to cover the pain.
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but twists and schemes, to cover the hate.
You may deny me, you may admit me, you may underestimate me.
But somehow, I have you questioning yourself.
I'm just a beautiful liar, trying to be good.
I lie with no remorse, yet, I tell the truth bluntly.
I know my capabilities, only a few I choose to use it on.
Don't trust me, and I won't trust you.
I'm just a beautiful liar, beggin, to be good.
Punish me daddy, for I have lied to tell the truth.
For I have sinned to be good.
For I have underestimated my own intelligence, to get my way.
I'm just a beautiful liar, covered in promiscuity.
Lilith (Black moon) in Gemini
May 8 · 172
Darkness
Kenji May 8
Hello darkness, my old friend.
It's been a while.
Can you feel the tension, the pain.
The blood has started pouring again.
The blade hit my thigh and drip, did the drops go.
The depression came back, harder than it did before.
Sudden, like an electric shock.
Sitting all alone in the darkness.
My body feels numbs, but my wounds hurt, but not as much as the pain inside.
Feelings of intensity, emotion of density.
Fragile and lost.
Soulless and  incomplete in these dark stages I encounter.
Drag me along to the pits of the underground, where I belong.
Burn me alive whilst I ache in torment and misery.
Banish me, whilst the claws rip me apart, inch by inch.
I am exposed, while hiding my feelings is something I'm used to.
But, you opened me, and there's no sewing me back together.
My depression lingers, as it started again, 10X harder.
Apr 29 · 162
You will be denied
Kenji Apr 29
My soul cries, for it never ends.
Will I be, denied, tourniquet.
My sorry soul.
Lingers in the path of hopeless screams.
Desires that reach no peak and voices that have no meaning.
Blood that spatters in a pool of red liquid.
Like a fountain of twisted nightmares, all gathered into one torn drenched wet coat of seamless stitches.
I wait, but you don't appear.
You wait, but I don't arrive.
Perfect by nature, I endure self indulgence.
Look what you made me.
A worthless bag of a desperate plead.
Have you no shame, don't you see me?
You've got everybody fooled with your filthy lies of manipulation.
Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie.
I don't love you anymore.
You don't know how you betrayed me.
You killed me.
I have NEVER felt pain the way you stabbed it in me.
Through my vessels, my skin, my muscles.
So the revenge I took, and you came back begging.
Remorseless I was, I was too powerful for your burdens.
Stronger I became, and I laughed behind your back in pure happiness and sacrificial power.
You, will NEVER, defeat me.
A friend from the past...
Shall I say no more.
Evanescence inspiration
Apr 24 · 142
The master of puppets
Kenji Apr 24
With a shadow creeping behind me, making every promise empty.
Intoxicating my nerves, I am being chased.
Stalking my forecast, I run at ten speed.
No stopping, I turn around to see a shadow so empty, its mere whispers have demolished into misty ash.
It haunts my every being and stalks my rotten prey.
It displeases my humanity and consumes my lost soul.
I run, run so fast, the lights hit bloom.
Scared, fearful of what it can do, I look down, I see the shadow
...
The shadow was you.

The ghost I'm trying to escape, just keeps coming back.
The feeling is poison, but beautiful at the same time.
The feeling is toxic, but fills my void of loss and emptiness.
You're a bad guy, playing with my emotions and unleashing my toxic tears.
Confusing my feelings and handling me like a puppet.
Why do I love you?
Since you're the master of puppets, you've dominated and learnt to control me.
Let me go.
Or I will turn around, and leave.
Leave you empty, till you lose control.
Metallica - Master of puppets
Apr 23 · 152
A worthless liar
Kenji Apr 23
I am just a worthless liar, I am just an imbecile.
Trust in me and you will fall, I will turn around and leave.
I will only complicate you, my emotions will have you doing wrong.
My worth is of no use to yours, you're too good.
I dance in my flames.
Flames that ravish my desires.
Why won't I stay?
The love never lasts and fights betray.
My fists are my words and my words are a knife.
It opens the wounds as the truth is then revealed.
I don't trust nobody, but somehow, everybody trusts me.
I will love you forever, if you can stay, to wash away this pain.
Don't leave me, then I won't leave you.
No one seems to like me, but there are a few that love me, love me for the pain, love me for the scars, because, I am just a worthless liar, trust in me, and you will fall.
Tool- Sober (inspiration)
Gemini mood
Apr 23 · 132
Love is poison
Kenji Apr 23
Love is my curse, forever burdened. Love is toxic, forever hurting. I fall inlove and then fall out. My mind runs at a fast pace and thoughts are never quiet. I shut my mouth because expressing these thoughts is poisonous to my being. It's a trap, I am not good enough for the ones I love, the ones who love me, are not good enough either. The pain lingers, holding onto this tight rope in shame. I've always been numb to the topic of lovin, because falling for the subject of sin feels less pain. I hurt so intensely the wounds start bleeding. Emotions this high I am forever in melancholy. Seems like I ain't good enough for anyone but myself. I've been in a relationship with myself for so long, letting someone take my place is a painful sacrifice I ain't willing to make. But I hate you, for making me feel this way. The depression starts again and being alone never felt this way in a while. It hurts to feel you, to love you, but it hurts more to let you go.
Apr 15 · 123
Blood in the cut
Kenji Apr 15
"It be safest if you ran, that's just what they all just end up doing in the end."
''Take my car, paint it black, take my arm break it in half, say some things, I never said, it's too quiet in this room I need noise"

I need the blood in the cut, I need the drip of the blood to tell me it's right.
I'm scared of losing you, maybe a cut will help heal my pain.
Emotions this intense, I've never done this in a while.
But memories are coming back, negative emotions I cannot face.
I envy what might happen if I lost you, I fear what might happen if you left.
They all ended up leaving, what makes you so different, that it won't happen again.
Memories of feeling empty, lost, confused, speculated into one piece of a disaster gone wrong.
Never meant for any of this to happen, but it did.
I love you, I don't wanna lose you.
I need you, I don't wanna be away from you.
But my guilt has taken over, and I feel bad.
I don't wanna lose you, but I'm losing myself.
Apr 5 · 218
Kate
Kenji Apr 5
Her power is not to be denied.
She dances with the wolves, and comes out alive, leader of the pack.
A spiritual goddess, beautiful to the core.
She's a witch, a siren and a vampire, come with her, and you will be reborn.
Too good, people don't appreciate her rawness, her craziness, she is purely one of a kind.
My best friend and soul sister I have never met, but sure feels the syn-cable connection that we share.
My crazy ****** Gemini *****, look after yourself, you are precious.
Love you...
***
My best friend all the way from the UK
Apr 5 · 1.3k
The curse
Kenji Apr 5
Release me from this curse I'm in, trying to untangle, I am struggling. Running, bare feet, my nerves shake, the winters are dry and my shivers are frozen, like a corpse struggling to wake, it fathoms inside. I run, hoping to escape the thoughtless screams, as if running away will build the high, but it doesn't, knees on the ground, I torment to my own feelings. Feelings, I question what it is, what it is to become, everyone I love leaves, and everyone that loves, allows me to leave. The five year cycle, the undeniable curse, cuz after five years, it's always over, the friendship never lasts. Three times in a row, 555, three best friendships, gone to waste. Death will let it be, but as brighter the light becomes, I hope it will unveil, it was all, worth my pain.
Apr 4 · 13.0k
The Taurean Goddess
Kenji Apr 4
She walks with grace, and kisses like a seductress.
She handles with poise, and fights like a warrior.
She dances with beauty, and sees with wonder.
She has the eyes of a devilish cat, Cleopatra, a destined goddess.
Luscious lips as she bites them with effortless ease, soft and supple, tastes like cherry.
A dark mysterious demeanor that screams, tell me more.
Skin as soft as silk, toned with honey brown.
Seductive, sultry, sensual, and ****.
Bad, bold, brave, and bewildered.
She is the Taurus woman, a woman to be greatly feared of her undying passion and intense magnitude.
Magnetic and love so soft, it can rip your insides apart till it subsides with hers.
Majestic as the great white horse, flips her mane and looks at you seductively.
Fear not my great ones, we are all just gods in disguise.
Kiss me, touch me, hold me, and **** me.
Brooding with a territorial existence, protective, possessive, and romantic to the touch.
Love me...
As I will love you back, 10 times harder.
The Taurus woman

Sun in Taurus (Stubborn, seductive, sultry, sensual)
Mercury in Taurus (Slow thinkers, common sense speakers, logical, practical)
Apr 3 · 660
I'm a bad guy
Kenji Apr 3
I love it when you take control, I love it when you re-own me.
I love it when you squeeze my gut, I love it when you re-establish me.
So you're a bad guy?
Think again...
Dominate you until your juices explodes.
I'm your savage, a perfect mystery.
A weapon, a long lost slavery.
Misguide your imperfections and make you tell me again,
Who's the bad guy?
**** with your mind and turn the page, write a new script and flip a new chapter...
But you like it really rough, hmm, tough guy.
Let's go again, I'm your bad guy, you're my *****, think again...
I just make you think you're my daddy, and you think I'm your *****, it's called the master of trickery.
But it's the other way around, That's how good I am, at being the bad guy.
But you still wanna **** with me, you love it, **** with you like you ****** with me the other night.
But that's the thing about my duality, she likes it really rough, she's tough, she plays games and always wins.
You lose, tough guy.
I'm the bad guy, hmm...
DUH
...
Billie Eilish - Bad guy Inspiration
Mar 30 · 489
Sinful Erotica
Kenji Mar 30
>Stained on the lips, as you bite your lip hard, the blood drips, the taste of metal against your tongue.... sacrificial blood as the passion awakens...

<My body yours to the soul I give
Blood feeding into our veins
Drinking from my cup
O' holy grail
Fill you up
Can you ******* pain

>Feeding on my my insides, my body yearns for the touch. I feed onto your pain, as you unleash your burdens onto me, I feel your touch soaking deeper onto mine, I crave your sensuality, your erotica got me feelin' weak

<The words you never speak seeping in my skin
Holding all inside sharing love and sin
I feel you
I know you
You writhe in serpents hive
Let's wind back the dangers
Let us  **** and thrive
Beneath Hell we shall dive

>**** harder as we thrive deeper in sin,  I feel you inside of me rushing through my veins, like electricity shocking through my nervous system... I try to hold on to the thought of you, but it rushes through me like a flash, I forget you, then it's done.
A collab written by me and Kate Rebecca Hopwood.
< Kate
> Me
Mar 29 · 916
Emotional Vanity
Kenji Mar 29
Vanity stole me
Vanity corrupted me
Vanity tranquilized me
Vanity disrupted me

These lines have me thinking wrong thoughts, thoughts that are of uncanny nature and vain thoughts of selfishness and unhealthy erotica.
Vanity took all the sanity away from the head, and left me alone, not even therapy can stabilize me, I rebuild my soul.
I'm out of my mind, and I'm yellin' out, vanity
...
Like a drug itself, these lines are like decaf and vanity is my addictive curse.
Addiction not to the drug, but to the feeling of such an intense self love, it eats you up inside, you take the substance to escape the sinful feeling.
Logic, and proportion, all dead.
Losing myself,
Get out of my head.
Get out of my thoughts.
Nothing to say ...
Mar 10 · 203
Lovely
Kenji Mar 10
"Thought I found a way, a way out, but you never go away...
So, I guess I gotta stay.
Isn't it lovely, all alone, heart made of glass, my mind of stone, tear me to pieces, skin and bone."
"Somethings on my mind, Need to get out my headspace..."

Tear me to pieces, rip me apart, kiss me slow, hold me down, and touch me low.
Feel the flow. Gradually pulling you towards me.
Holding you close. Take me out of my head space.
I don't know what feels true.
Let me crawl inside your veins.
Hide you away, lock you up in my treasure chest.
Keep you, you're mine.
Take my wall down, let's do the unthinkable, I think I'm ready...
I learnt to lose, can't afford to anymore.
Billie Eilish _ Lovely inspiration
Kenji Mar 10
Your pretensions have you doing wrong.
You misleading yourself into opinions and facts that are brainwashing your own thoughts and integrity.
It's interrogating your thoughts and your actions have you proving wrong.
Are you really who you say you are or are you faking the person you show?
It's mind ******* isn't it...
No one is whom they say they are, but who they say they are is just a clone of them trying to be different, not realizing that they they just like everyone else.
The proven truth is that, everyone is like everyone, not everyone is different, and not everyone can try to be.
Everyone that exists lives off other people, influences, brainwashes and media.
Everyone is trying to be someone else and something they are not.
We call ourselves different, imperfect, significant, and unique.
But the truth is that we are all the same and none of us are unique, we are insignificant is this vast universe.
Just admit that we are all regular people trying to be something we are not.
It's not wrong to admit such, it proves that you are just human and we are all on different journeys, the soul however, the same, the canvas is different, same tears, same form...
Arms, legs, fingers, sweat, scars, veins...
We bleed the same and all wear clothes.
It's fine to be like everyone else, it's okay.
We don't have to different, just, indifferent.
And that is the answer, stop admitting your rights, start admitting your wrongs too.
The faults of humanity
Feb 21 · 476
Philosophy of the system
Kenji Feb 21
The flow of systematic beings disintegrate and **** with my own flow sometimes.
Can't seem to get a grip on my mind.
I'm losing myself in lost formalities.
The whole diagrammatic systems falls into closure and creates a case of it's own.
The system is wrong, it doesn't flow with the equilibrium structure of life itself.
It just falls off, and finds a balance of it's own.
It has no real forecast, nor balance, just destruction.
It's chaotic to humankind and it needs strategy of some kind.
It needs appreciation, moral technique, or justification.
The flow of the subconscious is losing itself again in the brainwashing systems, it's locked, it cannot get out, stuck.
This philosophy is somewhat confusing, but it's just a descriptive rant about the brainwashing formula of society itself.
We a part of it, living in the lie, suffocating, trying to find, trying to heal, trying to bind.
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people, the truth that, technology is not needed, love and purity is needed, humanity got so caught up in the wealth, they forgot the essence of true love.  
**** THE SYSTEM
Feb 19 · 209
The deception of love
Kenji Feb 19
>It burns in me the love that couldvé formed. The erotica that couldvé been extablished, the depth that could've been formulated. But you left, and all I'm left with is your unwanted scars and burdens that are not mine. The grass is wet and the sun is hot, but my soul is in pain and lingers for yours. **** me like you hate me, but, kiss me like you miss me.

<I started to love and the love that surrounds me can be as deep as a cannon that has been created but I'm not left with my left eye. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul is sick and sick for you · · · You miss me as much as you love me, zeitgeist / ts?t???st, z?t???st / name for Valerie's Dictionary. You hate me as I do condoms; However, as the story evolved through thoughts and thoughts, a specific period of time in the spirit of emotional zeitgeist in the mid-nineteenth century: Zeit 'time' + geist 'spirit' is in German. There is love within me that engenders inner love. But I apologize for my injuries. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my life will be tormented. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you." There is a love that can be formed in the depths. But give me some scars. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul stays in it. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you."

>I'm not telling you, But I'd love to whisper the words that conform to your being of thoughtless scrutiny. Whisper back in a silent forecast and let your words be heard by me. As the wet grass sinks in the sand, I see our love has sunken too. Nothing but the pain to hold onto. You love me, but is it enough? I love you, and it's enough. Your love is poison and it's intoxicating to my existence. Like a harsh summer breeze that is hard to foresee, can I still write my feelings without thinking I am delusional, ought to be. Love me hard but your toxicity stands in the way, as your feelings en-dour, my love stays true. A consistent loyalty that leaves a bruise. Before you know it, you left, as you said you would. Cut me out like a harsh knife that needs no razor blade, like a clean slice, you just left me in your scars. But with that pain, for some reason, even if I have let you go, I still love you.

<Cut my heart out with a knife or razor blade for a clean slice, just leave your mark.

>Leave your mark but don't leave a scar. Bury your sacred existence elsewhere and leave me to live and love on my own. It's suffocating, it buries my soul, without you, I am free to breathe on my own. The sun is hot, the grass is wet, without your love, I feel free, not dead, consumed by other things, like my mind itself.
A beautiful duet written by me and Johnny Noiπ. A poem about the deception of love and what it can do to oneself.
Me >
Johnny <
Feb 12 · 1.2k
The rain
Kenji Feb 12
>walkin in the rain, footsteps shake, head throbs, but I still hear your silent echoes as if they follow me in the dark, my whispers are silent thunders, as if screaming in the past, it won't bring you back.

<I walk on, mud at my feet. Stepping to the trail of my own weathered beat. Nature touches my senses and the space between.

>Always in my headspace, cannot get out, still stuck, cannot move.
Though I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay. I hope someday I make it out alive, whether it burns or not.

<I'll feel the flames reach higher as I gasp for air
I hope the rain comes and washes away the pain and I can dance freely again
with the sun.

>The sun in my arms, I got no space for air, breathing frantically, I hold out my last to you. But in the distance, as my voice stops, I see a shadow, squinting, eyes nearly closed, I know it's not you.

<It is a part of me
The part I don't want to see
clearly
Running will save no one.

>I'm done, words filtrate, my thoughts are bare. ****, my mind is exposed, no one who cares.
Another Duet written by me and Kate Rebecca Hopwood.
< Kate
> Me
Feb 5 · 1.7k
I wanna end me
Kenji Feb 5
What do you want from me?
Why arn't you scared of me?
Why don't you care for me?
Do you fear me because I'm alone?
Slip, cut yourself on the glass and swim in your drowning blood.
It's a dark place, it's vivid, the ghosts are deadly.
Cut your tongue, you can't talk, you won't be heard.
Voices are whispers, silent.
Wonder, stay fearful.
Come, enter my dark acidic wonderland and die with me.
Eat tongues as the whisper echoes in the dark.
Freeze, don't say anyhing, just watch me.
Watch me move.
(Scream)
Horrifying, I die in placid stillness and my yell for help cannot be heard.
It's mortifying, help me.
But I love playing these games, until my heart, bleeds.
Cut me, lick my blood, watch the rabbits head twist off as he loses his race against time.
Nothing is going to save you now.
You are dead.
I wanna end me.
**** me in the dark.
The ghosts come in my dreams and pull me, they want me.
The only energies that want me, not wanted by humans, not wanted by anyone.
Nobody likes me.
**** me in the dark.
...
End me
Inspiration from Billie Eilish - Bury a friend
Jan 23 · 5.2k
The Geminian Doll
Kenji Jan 23
"Do you have a lighter? Am I dancing **** yet? Are you watching me because I move alone?"
Well, look a little harder, because as glass reflects on me I reflect back revealing the other side of me.
Two-sided.
She dances with ease.
Do you feel the pain because it's pain that I unleash.
I am the inner reflections of your mutable contingencies.
I switch up as I am never at true peace with just my self.
Look at me, watch me...
Feed on me as I feed onto you.
The perplexities of my intentions are at it's core when I move.
Lost, but just a crazy ******' Gemini with the ability to play with your mind.
Do you see it?
I do.
And she's nasty.
Taste her, lick her, **** her.
She's the dark side of me and she's waiting to play.
Tear me up like I'm your doll and grasp onto my insides like the strings have been attached so the grip cannot lose itself in your sins of your embellishment.
Dress me up, move me.
You are my puppet and I only wanna tease your mind.
**** me like a twist of your mad insanity.
Taste, and watch me because, I move alone.
Gemini Ascendant:
-Social jittery
-Restless
-Bored

Lilith in Gemini:
-Two sided
-Lacks sense of self
-Opposition of self battle
Jan 22 · 625
The Collision
Kenji Jan 22
>The sky roars as the thunder explodes, the storm collides in my every memory of waking thought, I seem to clash as the change of season happens as abruptly as my change of emotion.

<I am plummeting to the bottom of the ocean
Drinking in the salty sip
Rising high as the commotion
Riding the low and the wavering dip.

>My focus seems obscured, scrutinized with every drip.
Drip drop...
Drip drop...
Lost. But still standing, the question is how.
Because every universal structure has me be-dowered.
The ocean holds many highs, ones that are forbidden.
Forbidden as the eyes can see.
But to me, I stare blindly, waiting to breathe.

<Unto the unknown
Unto the breach
Splitting at the seems
The why's
The where's
The how's
Are those my dreams?
Will warmth conceive?
O' come back to me

>Thoust lay beneath, I try to see,
I perceive with the eye of the cat, the mental stamina of a bird.
But lost in the eclipse, there's no looking back.
Pushing forward, I make my move.
Lips on focus, biting them as I inhale the atmospheric scent.

<Mystical indulgence
String of pearls diamond droplet around my neck
Gypsy traveler drifting between each breath
Spirit at the helm
Moon bound
Earth to the ground
Cat lives left
If I fall
Faith will stand again
Wingspan stretched out
Sun set

>Sun so far, it seems so near.
Sun so near, it seems so far.
Breathless, but still in sight, I reach over and feel the delight.
As darkness and pain is madness, so is light and healing.
Everything corresponds together and creates the balance.
But I write, "hello darkness my old friend''
The paper drifts away, as the sun rays hit my face
The string of pearls rest against your neck, as the master of puppets arrive, we soon begin our test.

<Our hearts write the line
Then,
silence.
A collaboration of two poets creating beauty. A new friend, Kate Rebecca Hopwood. Do check out her poetry.
> ME
< KATE
Jan 19 · 453
Betrayal
Kenji Jan 19
Is my cause to live the cause for eternal death?
Is my cause for death my cause for eternal life?
As I have mentioned in my other writings, nothing ever dies.
The physical form diminishes into thin air and rots, and the soul, the spirit, the ghost, takes on a new form.
This bordem got me feelin' weak.
Hearing other peoples thoughts, conversations, am I being tested to immoral justice?
Am I being tested to focus on the subconscious, even though it hurts more than the conscious.
It hurts, to have a gift of such empathy and unconditional love.
I feel 100 knives stab me all at once.
It twists through the knots of my intestines
It rips my skin off and allows my blood to pour
It pulls my heart out and has me aching in misery
BETRAYAL
It's something I've experienced but still experiencing.
It HURTS.
So bad, my mind has me in sorrowful loneliness.
"Cannot trust anybody"
She says a million times, and that voice, that voice is right.
They smile to your face but whisper unwanted words to your back.
The wonder of who's real has me whimpering in weakness.
I have become weak and it is my thoughts to blame.
I fear them...
Nobody to trust but my unwanted pain.
Cannot trust anybody, the 5th chapter of my life: Trust
Kenji Dec 2018
Human nature is something defined against all odds. Odds that one can never accumulate or gather to themselves or other people. So instead, they bring themselves to situations that’s way out of hand for even their mind to encounter. Trapped in their mind of lost formulations that’s not even accountable to their own being of existence, they defend. Mad beings created out of the ordinary to revolutionize a society that is already a demolished scrutinized process of abstractedly profound occurrences. Hypothetically, a revolution stands as eternal as to what the minds create in historic, momentary, and lost illusions that some call reality. Reality, my delusional curse and my incoherent formula that I am still creating. Fantasy, the realms I escape into to search for the meaning beyond the human eye. What is lost, cannot be seen, and what is seen, cannot be realistically found. In the dimensions we live in, the worlds we see, it's nothing beyond what we can create. The revolutionist, the humanitarian, the artists, the minds eye. We all as one evolved, and yet, there are many more to come.
My philosophy explaining humanity and revolution.
Dec 2018 · 201
The Bland Wall
Kenji Dec 2018
I stared in front of me, at a peculiar object that had no formality.
It was a bland wall, had no opening, nor space, just blank.
It was oddly amusing, trying to foresee beyond it, trying to see what could be the meaning behind it.
The wall had no writing, or drawings, no patterns, or carvings.
Staring blindly, I couldn't see.
"Change your perception, use a different sense"
The voice said.
Pressing my hands against it, resting my forehead on it, and closing my eyes.

I felt it

I heard the banging, the screaming, the blood spattering, the squealing, the gasping, the echos, the sounds crying out for help.
I heard the knife slashing and gun shooting, I heard it all.
I suddenly felt something jolt through my body, like an electric shock.
I landed hard, back first on the ground.
Losing consciousness...

I saw it

I saw everything. EVERYTHING.

Waking up in a blanked out terror, I finally understood it.
It was me, in the form of my subconscious.
A metaphor of the desperate plead, cries, and help I call out to those that I love.
But, silent echos cannot whisper in the dark, and my voice cannot be heard.
SO, I suffer more, all by myself.

Yes, You can see the wall, but, if you choose not to listen to it, you won't see what's behind it, on the other side.
You choose to be misunderstanding.
You choose to be ignorant, and brain washed by lies.
But, if you actually took your own time and tried to feel the wall without any fear, maybe, just maybe, you would truly understand.

So, I stare at this bland wall, has no opening, no space.
But when I heard and saw what was on the other side, my perception changed.
A metaphor of my misunderstood soul.
Dec 2018 · 3.7k
The Piscean Soul
Kenji Dec 2018
I try to hold these secrets inside me, I try to keep everything locked within me...
Like a misguided key that is lost, and is being searched by others.
They say I am hard to read, but I can see through them like glass, they reflect on me as I reflect on them, a soul of a mirror, I keep my twins within, through the promiscuous looking glass.
With this strange inability to voice out my emotions, I keep everything that suffocates me, to myself.
My minds like a ****** deadly disease with no shame or lies to hide it.
However, this altering personality has a mind of it's own.
Expressing, but spilling too much, I surrender in regret.
I have no shame in hiding this strange disposition of my deceiving facade, I embrace myself in pure madness as my mind twists in insane obligations.
Defeating, but never defeat-less.
Where are you? Are you here? Come to me, dark lonely serpent, don't fear me
Leave, leave me alone.
Soul aches in mindless misery as I sit and talk to myself, and the unknown.
These spirits and forces suggest I'm living a lie and it isn't home.
These lucid dreams I have every night give me messages, and signs.
Some dreams are paranormal and realistic like a spirit is trying to speak through to me to get to the known dimensions to be seen, to be heard.
But some dreams are just vivid escapism methods to wonder other dimensions.
I see everything in my perceptive dreams, even in the conscious, the world we see to think to be real.
I see the child's tears as his mother stabs his dad in vicious anger.
I see the animal's wimper and sorrow as it limps in agony being tortured it's whole life, just searching, and searching for food.
I see the beggars dead eyes as drugs has overtaken their pure mind, the loss of hope, but I still see something pure, screaming to jump out.
I see the maids strength as they battle working days and days, getting underpaid and never seeing their family just to hustle and make money.
I see the lawyers fight for moral justice and integrity as the case has been lost, yet, they keep on fighting, they never give up.
I see the business mans wife drink wine alone all day just waiting for her husband to come home, but he's busy ******* his secretary.
I see the birds squeal in pain as its wing has broke, and no one coming to it's presence to help it.
I see my sick grans soulless eyes as Dementia  has overtaken her and she lives in permanent confusion thinking her brother whom died 20 years ago, is still alive.
I see, I see everything.
With a strong Moon in Pisces energy, this perceptive mind is never at rest. It's still fighting to love so unconditionally and help everyone at my feet.
I bleed, I ache, I scar, I cry, I surrender, and, these are my reasons for needing to hide.
With a mind of such empathy, I battle even helping myself.
But this is my insight, as a spiritual teacher.
I will die helping the unwanted...
I will die spreading love and justice...
I will die in lonely misery...
And I will die knowing my life made sense if those I sacrificed for, was all worth, the pain
...
Moon in Pisces:
-Emotional
-Intuitive
-Dreamy
-Empathetic
-Helpful
-Spiritual
Kenji Dec 2018
In this coffin I lay, eyes shut and mouth open wide.
Strangled to death, but alive.
Barely making it, but taking the stride.

Why hide?
She walks with so much confidence
She's so beautiful
She's so inspirational
WOW, I wish I had that much confidence'
You not like other woman
How is she so fearless?

My past is dark, my body is bruised, my skin is scarred, and my blood still leaks.
Taking me years to get to this stage of self love, I've been through battles, days where I thought I was about to die.
Days where I thought nothing could help, punched in the face and defeated to ash, sleepless nights and robbed of all dignity, and days where I only slept and drained myself.
My battle wounds are still visible, I live for the fight and I will die fighting, never back down.
A black panther walks with grace, handles with strategy, and fights with integrity, still holding it's head **** high, a beautiful creature, they say.
Tougher than a lion, effortlessly, without even trying.
The animal kingdom has a new King, and it's me, the alpha female.
I ain't like other woman, I embrace and devour courage, strength, bravery, fearlessness, independence...
Staring death in it's ****** face and ripping that **** mask off and whispering, "who's the coward now, beautiful"
laughing sarcastically, DEATH does not exist, nothing ever really dies, a soul lives for eternity until the journey is accomplished, a champion never gives up, determination and pride, a self encouraged vanity.

So, in this coffin I lay, eyes shut, mouth wide open, strangled to death.
But somehow, through all the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental pain...
(Laughs in sadistic mystery)
I am still alive.
The soul of a black panther, a feline of mystery is within me
Dec 2018 · 672
Altering
Kenji Dec 2018
I walk along the tight rope in shame.
Whispering to myself "hold your **** together''
Halfway through, almost reaching the end, the pain surges, electrocuting through my whole body, static.
I fall
Not knowing how I'm going to land.
She jumps out from inside of me as I hit the sandy ground.
Head jolts, slow motion review.
Hurting, the pain I deserve, for knowing, knowing too much. the power consumes.
It rushes like a harsh wind, like a storm that cannot be unveiled.
Yielding inside of me, she bursts, and explodes like a thunder exhibition.
Laying next to me, only I can see her.
Her dark eyes staring into mine, I try to look past the horror.
"Don't leave me" a careless whisper.
She vanishes into thin air, I lose myself in despair.
I stare up at the high ceiling, waiting for the other ones to give me life and healing.
One unleashes, but one of fury and anger, Sukubus, the fighter.
She gets up in an aggressive explosive motion and attacks everyone around her viciously.
Here I am again, switching.
Switching, needing those people inside of me to keep me alive.
Like a spirit, without them I am dead.
Creation of the mind fighting against reality trying to show, but hiding in promiscuity.
I'm a good liar, choosing to be honest.
The will I have has weakened to the inner pits of my core, and without these personas, I am nothing but a rotting corpse.
So, I ask for those around me to stop judging me please.
I am only trying, trying for so long, that doing has me acting out too **** impulsively.
Forgive me, I was born to sin, but to love so passionately, a loyal mind of pure integrity.
I wish not to be so alone in melancholy, but defeated, so I stand alone, trying to survive the unknown.
I open my eyes, looking around me, seeing everyone dead, blood scattered and bodies twisted.
I get up, and start again, unleashing another personality.
My personality deformations
Nov 2018 · 3.9k
The quiet storm
Kenji Nov 2018
It's mortifying...
The dilemma, the time lapse, the wait, the clock.
The abstract that I so blatantly describe in my other writings.
Time cannot be paused, stopped...
The abstraction is so formulated into one diverse piece, the creation of such is appealing, yet reformative.
Inconsequential, to the matter of science, myth, philosophy, conduct, and everything that exists beyond our mind.
I hold onto this creation, because the conclusion of the matter holds many intellectual debates that cannot be won or answered.
It is forbidden, it's lost.
The question of right and wrong holds many definitions that are inexplicable to the concept of reality itself, when the utter illusion holds the introspection that philosophers like myself, cannot give a precise answer to.
Time will let us be.

It's a quiet storm, and I've never felt like this before.
Sometimes I think, you're just too good for me.
Nothing to say ...
Nov 2018 · 7.6k
The Deceiving Twins
Kenji Nov 2018
It fathoms inside of me, the person I was, the person who I became, and the person I am becoming.
The epitome enforces loss of control, loss of desire, and loss of my true self.
Naturally, conflicting, always switching these dominant sides of me.
I lose it, in all focus of who I am, I deceive.
Unknowingly, playing different characters to clarify my true self, when it's all just lies, a game, a mental mind ****.
I deceive.
WHO AM I?
WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU TO BECOME?
Questions I ask myself everyday hoping the answer will just flow, it doesn't, I just switch.
A confliction of pain, loss, hurt, betrayal, emotion, sin.
I lose myself.
I never stay.
I never stay.
But they don't too.
Alone, lonely...
Waiting to be loved truly of the emotion and depth I desire.
Born to love deeply, and to be loved intimately, spiritually.
I suffer in my own self.
I torture myself to these standards of perfection I don't even have.
I **** myself everyday, knowing that it's eternal, it will never end.
MISUNDERSTOOD...
HATED...
Not worthy of the love that I deserve.
In a cycle that scars my unhealing pain.
I cry, I cry everyday.
No one to talk to, no one who wants to be there, no one who truly understands what it's like to be me, and nobody who wants to.
Yet, loving so deeply is a curse, sacrificing your own soul for others but ******* yourself over in the end.
It's never gonna end.
NEVER
So I die, losing myself between all my personalities.
Character deformations and a mind of a computer system that is constantly processing and rearranging, my thoughts never shut out.
Deranged, I scream and ache in pain.
I hide, because living a lie for so long has turned me into something I'm not.
The voices, they won't stop.
The people inside of me, they will never leave.
The thoughts I have within have consumed me, and there's no escaping it.
So, I deceive, hoping one day, it will all end.
Knowing, that life isn't a curse, but me.
The naturally deceiving nature of my soul.
Moon In Pisces
Gemini Ascendant
Black moon in Gemini
My thoughts, exposed.
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