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 Aug 9 Kenji
You keep dreaming of
The idea of love
You read, you weep it--endlessly seeking
But it's falsehoods that bread it
No wonder it's fleeting

And as it goes
In the madness you wallow
The empty, the still: a hard pill to swallow
With only the night to hold you tight
Nothing but wind caressing your skin

You want the man on the page
To love the girl in the mirror
You want the tears on your face
To purge, to erase
And make the flaws disappear

And it's not long before
You're falling once more
Can't find arms to embrace you
Nor lips to kiss you
And until mortals can soothe you
These abstractions must do

They're not but distractions
But they're all that fate has granted you
 May 19 Kenji
 May 19 Kenji
I think I love
with every cell of my being,
with every drop of soul in me,
with every breath that visits my lungs,
with every fingerprint I’ve ever left,
with every laugh that parted my lips,
with every language my tongue pronounces,
with every way I know how to love,
with everything, yet I end up with nothing..
 May 13 Kenji
Jack Jenkins
please just let these wounds bleed/
razor blades across my brain/
razor blades across my brain/
over and over again/
counterfeit feelings and choked out dreams/
all im asking is you let me bleed/
let me breathe/
scream for air in a silent scare/
razor blades across my brain/
razor blades across my brain/
tired eyes and a poured out heart/
stop living and just survive after ive died/
nonsense is my language of choice/
a voice alone in the dark corner of my/
razor blades across my brain/
razor blades across my brain/
//On anxiety//
 May 13 Kenji
Jack Jenkins
When the waves no longer crashed against the beach
The sand was sad and missed the sea
& from the dry desert an oasis was born
Born from tears the sand had wept
The oasis gave life to the travellers thirsty and alone
Even to the animals and carnivores
Yet none could ever stay for it was not their home
Alone the oasis gave itself to the sky
To be a cloud that travels far and wide
To seek the sea he utterly missed
Leaving rain and blooming flowers in his path
A river, an ocean, but he could not find her
So he looked behind at all he created
All those he saved
He asked himself "What is it worth if I haven't her?"
& in a moment he was gone
The cloud gave himself to the scorching sun
All that remained was a rainbow
Beautiful image of passing on
//On her, life and friends//
Pour yourself out for everyone and watch yourself empty
 May 13 Kenji
Jack Jenkins
They flicker and glisten but shine on the same                              
Every star signed with your name                  
Darling I'm lost in outer space
//On her//
The unanticipated sequel for that same special someone, no longer in my life. Happy birthday, wherever you are.
 Apr 30 Kenji
 Apr 30 Kenji
I fell hard for you
Knowing it couldn’t be true
My feelings were too new
That I knew it would fall through

That you couldn’t care
Where you shouldn’t of shared
Your heart and soul
To a caring girl

You broke me like I never wanted to be
Now I have to fix the brokenness that you had made.
To make room for a new love
Where I love myself
and i don't even know if i want to kiss your lips or just your skin
because i'm
but i don't want to hit the ground again.
are you sure your arms can hold the weight of my love when it's wrapped in wet clothes?
and are you sure it's the best idea to take this where the wind goes?
i'm not yet sure if love is a real thing
it's just a
and you still kiss me like i'm sane
but i know it's all just another game
so don't be surprised if i refuse to participate.
and you're like a
but your vicious words still gently drag me along.
and i'm not sure if you're really toxic
or it's just all in my head.
i love you
love you
ove you
ve you
e you
or maybe i love when you're in my bed.
there's a difference between someone telling you they love you and them actually loving you
i haven't figured it out yet though
She was the devil if the devil's curse was lust
He was  a worshiper, her body his altar
They represented disdain through all who knew them
But she was a drug and He was addicted
 Apr 28 Kenji
 Apr 28 Kenji
like a cigarette, ignited and raised to your scornful lips
you made me your addiction
and i let you consume me
 Apr 25 Kenji
This is not a love poem, my dear,
no....this is a poem of defeat.
To let you know you have won this war...
I give have me beat.
I can no longer fight for your heart
while scraping my own from the floor.
I can't ask you to feel something you won't,
and I can't handle hurting much more.
Your will of disdain is so very strong,
it's one I just can not break.
I thought I was worthy, but I was wrong...
was dreaming, but now I'm awake.
I've been running a race I just can't win,
chasing what will never be mine.
And at some point I fell, head over heels...
now I'm just running on borrowed time.
I think I thought there was something more,
a real connection between you and I.
And I guess I thought you felt it too...
I swore I saw that same spark in your eye.
But I'm just a fool and you a joker,
roles we both play well.
So where does our charade go from here?
I guess only time will tell...
Just a poem...
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