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Kenji 2d
The flow of systematic beings disintegrate and **** with my own flow sometimes.
Can't seem to get a grip on my mind.
I'm losing myself in lost formalities.
The whole diagrammatic systems falls into closure and creates a case of it's own.
The system is wrong, it doesn't flow with the equilibrium structure of life itself.
It just falls off, and finds a balance of it's own.
It has no real forecast, nor balance, just destruction.
It's chaotic to humankind and it needs strategy of some kind.
It needs appreciation, moral technique, or justification.
The flow of the subconscious is losing itself again in the brainwashing systems, it's locked, it cannot get out, stuck.
This philosophy is somewhat confusing, but it's just a descriptive rant about the brainwashing formula of society itself.
We a part of it, living in the lie, suffocating, trying to find, trying to heal, trying to bind.
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people, the truth that, technology is not needed, love and purity is needed, humanity got so caught up in the wealth, they forgot the essence of true love.  
**** THE SYSTEM
Kenji 4d
I want to be alone... But not isolated.
want to be in a box, with another mind that's of mine.
I want to fade away into a trillion tiny pieces and forget about the world around me.
I want to make art and make it sound like a masterpiece.
I want to bury myself in my music and think about the fantasy of love, since I don't have it, I don't know what it feels like.
That deep connection fathoms me.
I feel lonely yet I cannot get out of it.
I feel emotional and need someone to hold, but, I don't have anyone.
Golds fake, and real love hurts, but it hurts more when I'm alone.
The only person I have to love is myself.
The only person I have to hold is myself.
The only person I tell is beautiful is, myself.
Promises are broken and love is betrayed.
I trust no one.
I need someone.
I don't know what feels true, but real love hurts.
I just want to hold you, like a hostage...
Billie Eilish inspiration_ Hostage
Kenji 4d
>It burns in me the love that couldvé formed. The erotica that couldvé been extablished, the depth that could've been formulated. But you left, and all I'm left with is your unwanted scars and burdens that are not mine. The grass is wet and the sun is hot, but my soul is in pain and lingers for yours. **** me like you hate me, but, kiss me like you miss me.

<I started to love and the love that surrounds me can be as deep as a cannon that has been created but I'm not left with my left eye. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul is sick and sick for you · · · You miss me as much as you love me, zeitgeist / ts?t???st, z?t???st / name for Valerie's Dictionary. You hate me as I do condoms; However, as the story evolved through thoughts and thoughts, a specific period of time in the spirit of emotional zeitgeist in the mid-nineteenth century: Zeit 'time' + geist 'spirit' is in German. There is love within me that engenders inner love. But I apologize for my injuries. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my life will be tormented. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you." There is a love that can be formed in the depths. But give me some scars. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul stays in it. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you."

>I'm not telling you, But I'd love to whisper the words that conform to your being of thoughtless scrutiny. Whisper back in a silent forecast and let your words be heard by me. As the wet grass sinks in the sand, I see our love has sunken too. Nothing but the pain to hold onto. You love me, but is it enough? I love you, and it's enough. Your love is poison and it's intoxicating to my existence. Like a harsh summer breeze that is hard to foresee, can I still write my feelings without thinking I am delusional, ought to be. Love me hard but your toxicity stands in the way, as your feelings en-dour, my love stays true. A consistent loyalty that leaves a bruise. Before you know it, you left, as you said you would. Cut me out like a harsh knife that needs no razor blade, like a clean slice, you just left me in your scars. But with that pain, for some reason, even if I have let you go, I still love you.

<Cut my heart out with a knife or razor blade for a clean slice, just leave your mark.

>Leave your mark but don't leave a scar. Bury your sacred existence elsewhere and leave me to live and love on my own. It's suffocating, it buries my soul, without you, I am free to breathe on my own. The sun is hot, the grass is wet, without your love, I feel free, not dead, consumed by other things, like my mind itself.
A beautiful duet written by me and Johnny Noiπ. A poem about the deception of love and what it can do to oneself.
Me >
Johnny <
Kenji Feb 12
>walkin in the rain, footsteps shake, head throbs, but I still hear your silent echoes as if they follow me in the dark, my whispers are silent thunders, as if screaming in the past, it won't bring you back.

<I walk on, mud at my feet. Stepping to the trail of my own weathered beat. Nature touches my senses and the space between.

>Always in my headspace, cannot get out, still stuck, cannot move.
Though I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay. I hope someday I make it out alive, whether it burns or not.

<I'll feel the flames reach higher as I gasp for air
I hope the rain comes and washes away the pain and I can dance freely again
with the sun.

>The sun in my arms, I got no space for air, breathing frantically, I hold out my last to you. But in the distance, as my voice stops, I see a shadow, squinting, eyes nearly closed, I know it's not you.

<It is a part of me
The part I don't want to see
clearly
Running will save no one.

>I'm done, words filtrate, my thoughts are bare. ****, my mind is exposed, no one who cares.
Another Duet written by me and Kate Rebecca Hopwood.
< Kate
> Me
Kenji Feb 5
What do you want from me?
Why arn't you scared of me?
Why don't you care for me?
Do you fear me because I'm alone?
Slip, cut yourself on the glass and swim in your drowning blood.
It's a dark place, it's vivid, the ghosts are deadly.
Cut your tongue, you can't talk, you won't be heard.
Voices are whispers, silent.
Wonder, stay fearful.
Come, enter my dark acidic wonderland and die with me.
Eat tongues as the whisper echoes in the dark.
Freeze, don't say anyhing, just watch me.
Watch me move.
(Scream)
Horrifying, I die in placid stillness and my yell for help cannot be heard.
It's mortifying, help me.
But I love playing these games, until my heart, bleed.
Cut me, lick my blood, watch the rabbits head twist off as he loses his race against time.
Nothing is going to save you now.
You are dead.
I wanna end me.
**** me in the dark.
The ghosts come in my dreams and pull me, they want me.
The only energies that want me, not wanted by humans, not wanted by anyone.
Nobody likes me.
**** me in the dark.
...
End me
Inspiration from Billie Eilish - Bury a friend
Kenji Jan 31
It's haunting me, the presence of loneliness.
Who do I call? Who will be there?
No one.
No one who's willing to be there because they're all busy.
But the one's who care are just forced to care because I am alive.
I'm an unworthy burden of sacrifice and pain to all.
I mean nothing.
I am nothing.
Not even my own father, he doesn't care.
But if my body were to die, they would regret.
I saw the regrets as my gran just died.
A cold corpse, cremated to ash.
Her soul lived, her subconscious, was still alive.
Not even my own father was there when my gran passed, he was working, he was too tired.
I have no support, no one.
I HATE HIM
I wish he were to die, I wouldn't regret anything, he was never even there.
He was never there.
He doesn't care.
All he cares about is his ***** of a girlfriend, without taking into account my mother raised me for 20 years all on her own.
But he doesn't care, he wants me out when him and ***** girlfriend get a place, not taking any respect of my mother, he puts all the weight and burden on her.
I should just die, I see no point in living if my mother just tells me I'm a burden and pushing her insecurities on  me.
I see no point.
I want to die.
I am nothing
Kenji Jan 24
I miss you
...
It's different now.
But still, I miss you.
Still, I love you.
Still, I will never forget you.
Time has passed and the thorns have quivered.
The roots have disintegrated and the metal has rusted.
My wounds have healed and my scars are scar-less.
Yet, I miss you.
Your thoughts have changed and I am no longer in them.
Your tears are new and you cry new hopes and losses.
Things have changed and they are better now.
But still, I love you.
I love me, I love enough for the both of us.
Darlin you, You give, but you cannot take love.
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