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Kenji Sep 12
It may be too early to say, but I think I found my one.
He's everything desired.
Hes beautiful by nature.
Truly magnetic and intense to the core.
He's like my twin, but so much more.
I feel like I've seen him before, known him before.
Intuitive and intellectual, stimulating and intelligent.
I'm falling, and I've been caught.
I see faith and memory in his eyes.
I see willingness and a pure energy.
Gives me a sense of peace and brings out my best.
I feel doubt, is this surreal love meant to last?
Can I trust him?
He's me, and I'm him.
We have been connected from a lifetime that was once ours.
The passion is flammable and undying and I feel his comfort give me what I deserve.
I know him...
I've seen him before, harmonious and empathetic.
A true Aquarius but his wisdom speaks more.
I see my future with you.
You make me glow.
Reconnected with a past life lover, My twin flame.
Kenji Sep 11
You said you were afraid to lose me, yet, you pushed me away.
You said you loved me, yet, you were toxic to my emotions.
You sacrificed everything for me, yet, you used it against me.
You said I was the bad guy, yet, you did things only the devil would do to an angel.
You were destructive because of personal issues, always taking it out on me.
You called me selfish, yet, your narcissism made me look like the fool.
You lived off a broken ego and used me emotionally.
You overstepped my boundaries and manipulated me.
Yet, you say you love me.
I've gained control and walked away.
You can say what you want, won't change a thing.
Your toxic.
But, I am the more mature person, even though you call me a child.
I promise you will never see me or hear from me ever again.
I have nothing against you.
Sort your **** out, for you.
You deserve it.
I found my happiness, in myself.
Now it's time for some other chick to deal with you.
Bye Cam
Kenji Sep 2
Thoughts of you no longer filtrate.
I am happier, emotionally free, and mentally stable.
Travelling to another city and getting to a state of mental happiness is exactly what I needed.
I want you to be happy, but I promise you will never see me or hear from me ever again.
I'm done with your toxicity and emotional games.
You've crossed my boundaries and theirs no going back.
I've moved on...
I've read old poems that I wrote about you, shocked about the toxic emotion I portrayed, how could I have been so unhappy?
I am free from my feelings of you,  I am free from the unwanted thoughts of you, I have control over my emotions, and living in this new city is an option, and I'm taking it.
You no longer hold me back, and I can truly let you go.
I am no longer emotionally trapped by you, and it feels,
AMAZING
Free
...
I am HAPPY, because, I truly love myself, and I finally found my peace.
Kenji Aug 28
I woke up, in hospital, the visions and dreams I had were scary.
Some were real, some were not.
I thought the dream of actually being in hospital was a nightmare.
Then I realized, the suicide attempt didn't work.
I vomited everything out, but some of it is still in my system, making me very drowsy, this isn't a poem, it's a confession.
I attempted to **** myself, but it wasn't the right time.
I have faint memories of what happened.
Most of them were scary as I was drugged on the medication, seeing delusions that weren't real.
I won't do it again, I learnt my lesson.
My mom brought me home, to keep an eye on me and give me direction, I'm doing well, yet, still very drowsy and nauseous.
She flew all the way down to see me in hospital, I was in ICU for 3 days.
I almost died, if I closed my eyes before the ambulance came, I would've.
That was the point, but, it was all an illusion.
Never overdose on your prescribed bipolar meds.
Never overdose on anything.
...
Never attempt suicide
Kenji Aug 23
When people find out they have a certain amount of time left to live, it breaks them.
When a loved one passes away, regrets start pouring.
Unspoken words filtrate and reminiscing of memories elaborate.

****** up, ain't it.

If I had a certain amount of time left to live, I would use it wisely.
I would be happy, because life to me is pointless, I'm not suicidal, or maybe I am.
But I would rather die.
If I had cancer, I would suffer in happiness, hoping not to get better.
Honest thoughts, I WANT TO DIE.

Easiest suicide method, a gun to the head.
May take a few minutes to bleed out and die afterwards, but where to get a gun with such little cash.

Life is an ongoing cycle of pain, loss, betrayal, and abuse.
I AM SICK OF IT

Physically, mentally, and spiritually drained.
Emotionally abused and always taken advantage of by toxic people.
I need help, but I don't want it, because when I'm happy, it starts again.

**** ME

The pain and hurt and loneliness I feel inside is not worth it anymore.
I cannot do this anymore

POINTLESS

No motivation, no will, I have nothing left to live and be grateful for.
My sacrifices mean nothing and I am just a worthless burden to all.
Kenji Aug 22
It shouldn't hurt this much to be your angel.
It shouldn't bleed this much to be your guide.
It shouldn't pain this much to love you.
It shouldn't scar this much to be by your side.

I'm torn between obsession and hate, for the mess that we made.
But, they come, they go, so replaceable.
I can only have you in my dreams, it seems.
Because reality strikes and you leave me in pieces, ripped apart, wounded, my wings, fallen off, I am burning in loathe.
Kenji Aug 18
Choose one:

- A vampire needing blood, because they lose their power. So, they
  **** people and torture humans in order to get it.
- A fallen angel needing love, because it loses power. So, it manipulates, charms, and leads people into falling in love with them so can steal their heart.

ALL FOR THEIR OWN GAIN

                   Power
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