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7.5k · Dec 2015
His Heartbeat -Part 2-
Lost Dec 2015
                 but still
                                                         ­        life.
   ­                      Just

      I couldn’t


6.6k · Oct 2015
I Feel It
Lost Oct 2015
Love is the green in his eyes.

It smells like         his shirt                     I keep for comfort.
It sounds like      his steady heartbeat          under my ear.
It feels like         his hand                     intertwined with mine.
It tastes like       his kiss                        after three weeks apart.
It looks like              a bright future        ahead of us.

Love is an unbreakable bond.
6.2k · Mar 2016
"Oh My God Lindsay!"
Lost Mar 2016
"Slay the beast! Salty, sassy and saucy."

-Lindsay the only person who slays better than me
This ***** rocks my world
5.2k · Mar 2017
Lost Mar 2017
4.5k · Mar 2016
A Suicide Note
Lost Mar 2016
"Invisibility is a curse, not a superpower."
The worst feeling is existing but being alone.
3.7k · Apr 2017
My Dear
Lost Apr 2017
If someone is ***,
Don't relentlessly pursue them.
You seem to miss the point,
They don't like your gender that way.
So please leave them be,
They doesn't deserve this from you.
Just because they're nice,
And you think they're cute,
And you like them,
You seem to think you can get whatever you want.
Please don't put that on them.
They have no need for pointless drama and lies from you.
They're not stupid.
They know the truth.
So it's best to save yourself the trouble of changing something you can't,
Just because you can manipulate others,
Doesn't mean the same can happen with sexuality.
If only people listened ¯\_( ツ)_/¯
3.4k · Oct 2015
His Heartbeat
Lost Oct 2015
           the soft,
                      of a drum.
           and fall,
the intake
           of August air,
           of pain
and grief.
3.3k · Apr 2017
Lost Apr 2017
I love when people,
think they can do no wrong.
Think they're in charge,
of everyone else's fate.
Hurt just feel
a sense of superiority.
you see,
when you play with fire,
you will get burned.
And if you play with a rose,
you will get the thorns.
When you realize you're more powerful than you think, the world becomes less scary. Stay strong. They only win if you let them.
3.2k · Feb 2016
Throwing Shade
Lost Feb 2016
throws shade*

breaks something*

It's just a ******* SHADE¿¡
You probably though this was about you but it's actually about lamps
Lost Feb 2016
Maybe I shouldn't have been his girlfriend.
Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so attached to the way he held me.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so needy for affection.
Maybe I shouldn't have got so jealous of his girl friends.
Maybe I shouldn't have told him every time I was sad.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so dependent.
Maybe I shouldn't have felt like I should be a priority.
Maybe I shouldn't have insisted on spending so much time with him.
Maybe I shouldn't have expected so much.
Maybe I shouldn't have wanted more than he would give.
Maybe I shouldn't have asked for everything.
Maybe I shouldn't have compared myself to his ex.
Maybe I shouldn't have compared him to mine.
Maybe I shouldn't have pushed so much.
Maybe I shouldn't have pursued him.
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes.
Maybe I shouldn't have let him go.
Maybe I shouldn't have said hello.
He left without a reason, but I found a million.
2.1k · Mar 2017
Lost Mar 2017
I'm happier,
I promise.
I'm doing better,
You don't have to this,
I'm sorry that I'm hurting,
and I know,
you are too.
But what I don't understand,
is what I mean to you.
You say I'm your best friend,
but you don't act like it.
That night we hung out,
you made me feel things again,
and as much as I hated that,
I loved it all the same.
I'm happier,
I promise.
Now that you're not sad,
even though,
it hurts me,
I love seeing you smile again.
I care about you,
in more ways than one.
I can't escape it,
I wish I could.
Believe me,
I wish I could.
I'm happier,
I promise.
Even though I'm lying,
I know it's what you want to hear,
so I'll just fake it.
When Ed Sheeran makes you fall for your best friend
2.0k · Mar 2016
Lost Mar 2016
There is a feeling I love.
A feeling I can't deny is my favorite.
Some may call it dangerous,
may call it childish.
By I,
can't help
how much
I love it.
If you've never had a katana or held one, you don't know the feeling of true power.
1.9k · Jun 2017
Afraid of the Dark
Lost Jun 2017
When I was little,
I used to hate having my door closed,
I would scream and cry
In fear of what the shadows could hold.
I was afraid of a box
Where I’d be held hostage
Caged with a lock
And no key
Back then
That pain was like the sting of a bee.
Now at 17 I realize that I wasn’t afraid of the dark
I was afraid of depression
Making its mark.
I was afraid of the endless battle of trying to fall asleep
Not wanting to wake up
But not wanting to dream.
I was afraid of the hope I would lose in that battle
Afraid of the chains
That made my hollow bones rattle,
Because in the light of a new day
I’d stay inside
“I’m tired” I’d say,
But the truth was much simpler
Than a cheap fix
I am afraid of myself
And I can’t change it.
1.9k · Apr 2016
I'll Never Let You Go
Lost Apr 2016
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Lyrics of the Nickleback song Far Away. It just came on the radio and I couldn't help but think of the person I love. I miss you, fork.
1.7k · Jun 2017
Love Don't Die Easy
Lost Jun 2017
You'd think after 2 years,
the feelings would be gone.
You'd think after all of the pain,
I'd be able to forget.
But my heart is still attached.
You got the biggest piece of me I could offer,
and you treasured it,
but you were hurting and lost,
didn't know what to do.
But you loved me.
You did.
You gave me what you could.
You tried to make me happy.
But you were damaged
and so was I.
So I hope,
after all this time,
we can find our love again.
Because my love don't die easy.
I miss you, Mark.
1.6k · Mar 2016
Lost Mar 2016
My life
Is like
A mosaic.

Shattered pieces
Fit together,
In hopes
To look
I could relate to the project we're doing in my art class.
1.6k · Feb 2016
Lost Feb 2016
*That voice,
that one simple word,
it sends my heart into a frenzy,
leaves me sighing of happiness,
fills me with the warmth
of a calm
It was my after school tradition,
make myself fall for him again.
His dad was usually home by 2pm,
but we almost always go lucky.
I wouldn't trade that time
for anything.
We could go hours,
just relying on the sounds of out voices,
chatting away through the silence of our homes.
Never once have we or will we become bored of one another.
That's what we love best.
I miss those calls and that voice.
1.6k · Jul 2016
Lost Jul 2016
I haven't been this in love since the first time I laid eyes on a cheeseburger.
Holy ****
1.5k · May 2017
Lost May 2017
Pronounced like "Mack"

I love you.

The both of you?

I hate it.

I do.

One of you knows me for who I am.

The other knows me for who I've been all my life.

Both of you are so out of reach.

Both of you hold special places in my heart.

Both of you care for me in different ways.

Both of you have seen me at my worst.

Both of you deserve to be happy.

I just wish I didn't think the both of you deserve me.
Boys Are Gross™
1.5k · Apr 2016
Lost Apr 2016
I see things in the clouds,
pretty things,
scary things,
sometimes just shapes and fluff.
I feel things becasue of the clouds,
sometimes just nothing.
I think about things because of the clouds,
flying far away,
how lovely that would be,
sometimes just mesmerized into sleep.
My brain isn't working so here's a ramble.
1.3k · Feb 2016
Famine Song
Lost Feb 2016
ease our souls and bring us peace
be the trickling down of life to this place.
No words to ease where a war rages.
The quiet is violent.
The world is at standstill silence.
*to relieve this famine,
pour from the heavens and bring us peace.
1.2k · Jun 2017
I Will Never Surender
Lost Jun 2017
I will never give up on you.
No matter how hard the tide pushes,
no matter how strong the wind may blow,
I will stand with you,
strong and tall.
are afraid and brave.
am terrified and resilient.
we are in love.
we will overcome.
we are one.
Nor hell or high water,
will tear us apart.
1.2k · Apr 2016
Pain Killer
Lost Apr 2016
Contrary to popular belief,
depression is the best pain killer there is.
It forces itself down your throat,
and canon-***** into your stomach.
Ripples chills throughout your body,
that's when you know it's starting to work.
It pulses through your veins,
numbness radiating through you.
there is no pain.
It will consume you until there is nothing left,
just the hollow shell
of a once
I had this revelation today.
Lost Feb 2016
"Fuckbuddy" does not apply when there is no intimate relationship between two people. But thanks for your input. Everyone feels a lot less stressed and irritated now that you're gone.
That's cute how you're still trying to cause problems. Real mature of you.
1.1k · Aug 2017
Big Sister
Lost Aug 2017
For the girl who makes me wish I had a sister like her,
don't let them break you or stand in your way.
They need you and love you,
no matter what your stepmom might say.
I know my opinion is not desired,
but I know better than anyone,
those little ones need you.
So **** what she says and don't back down.
You're strong and brave,
a fighter, a lover,
a hero,
a sister.
And that's worth fighting for.
We may have our differences and our battles but I would never wish you to be apart from your little brother and sister. They need you and you need them. Good luck. If you need anything, I got you.
1.0k · Feb 2016
Laugh It Off
Lost Feb 2016
How I learned to deal with bullies:

Let them have their laugh.

Then laugh about the stupid things they say and do later because you got screenshots of all that **** for the cops. xD
Lost Jun 2017
As we drove down ES,
20 minutes away from "goodbye",
The Weekend was blasting,
I received a text.
"What now?"
You asked.
"It's Emilie."
I replied.
I read her question aloud and sighed.
"I'm sorry,"
My voice is shaky and I know what you're going to say.
"I love you."
And at that moment,
My favorite lyrics play.
And you sing along as if replying to my confession of love.
"I think we need to take a break."
A sob ripples through me,
You ease on the breaks,
And pull over.
You take me in your arms,
Stubble pressed to my forehead.
We sit there for a while,
Silent except for my sobs.
"I'm afraid all of this 'Mark' stuff has really impacted how your friends trust you."
"I'm sorry,"
I choke out once more,
"I love you."
I love you.
*And this won't change that.
I will always be with You.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Because if mistakes I made in my past, i have only the future to look for.
1.0k · Mar 2016
Lost Mar 2016
There is not a sign on my back saying "kick me".
Therefore there is no invitation to do so.
What about that is so hard to understand?
The world will probably never know.
We let others play their games and
Maybe when they've grown up,
The might feel the same pain they put us through.
Tired of being bullied for existing.
990 · Mar 2016
Lost Apr 2016
I don't feel here anymore.
It's as if as the seconds go by,
I'm disappearing.
into nothing.
And there isn't anything
I can do
to stop it.
I'm slipping
farther and
from life,
and closer
and closer
to oblivion.

**I'm in too much pain to fight a war that isn't worth it.
My soul has left me once again.
956 · Mar 2017
Lost Mar 2017
My strength lies with them

the people who make me feel at home

we are not a club

we are a family.

We stand strong

hold each other up

protect our own .

We thrive on the happiness

we give each other.

We are one

like the song from The Lion King 2

we sang together today

right before double run through.

I love you guys

and I'll never stop.

Thank you so much

for being my family.
I love you all so much.
929 · Feb 2016
Lost Feb 2016

Well, he's..








                                            ­                                         *but only on the surface.









                                  ­                      *He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
He's the best thing in my life. Even if he refuses to admit it.
922 · Mar 2017
What a Pity
Lost Mar 2017
I can't wait until I **** myself so everyone can pretend they care.
******* Monica
907 · Dec 2015
Suicide Pact
Lost Dec 2015

                          That’s the sensation.

                                                     ­             You don’t feel the *pain

                                                          ­                            or hear a slowing heartbeat.

You see

You start to


all of the

­ you


                                                          ­ end.

You have formed
a suicide pact
                                                            ­                          *for one.
894 · Mar 2016
Lost Mar 2016
Of all the times to be alive,
why did it have to be now?
Reaching a year clean has been hell.
862 · Mar 2016
The Invisible
Lost Mar 2016
I mean nothing to no one.
I take up the empty space of a shadow.
I am a natural occurrence.
Always there.
Something that just simply exists.
No real purpose.
Just to remind other's that they're there,
while I get walked all over
and taken away
by nothing more
than darkness.
I mean nothing to no one.
My friendship isn't valued.
My heart isn't treasured.
My opinions, shamed upon.
And people never stop to wonder,
*why I stay in the darkness they cast.
An old one I found in a lost notebook that is still relevant.
861 · Apr 2017
2 Years
Lost Apr 2017
For those who don't know,
And for those who do,
I have something
I'd really like to share with you.

Today marks 2 years,
Today marks 730 days,
Today marks 1,051,200 minutes,
Since I last took a blade to my skin.

I've come a long way since I was 15,
And even though I still have a lot of life left,
I'm thankful for every minute I've been alive.
And I want to thank those who have helped me get to this point.
Without you,
I'd be lost.
I'd be down.
I might even be dead.
But I'm not.
I'm stronger now than I will ever be.
And there's no one who can take that from me.
I never thought I'd make it...
833 · Feb 2016
I Was Used
Lost Feb 2016
It may be Valentine's Day, but once again, I find no love, just salt.

You see,

I was taught at a young age,
You need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
Now a boy came along one day,
Made me believe in love myself.
But that love left me locked in a cage,
Unable to breathe, suffocating slowly,
Made to feel nothing but lonely.
I was trapped but not his only.
Just another doll on his shelf,
Not wanted and not needed, they say.
And I will never have a Valentine myself.
For one will ever stay.

I've become dependent and needy,

And it's all his fault.
820 · Apr 2016
Missing You...
Lost Apr 2016
There was a certain air to the night, that reminded me too much of you.

I wasn't sure if it was your cologne or just a warmth within the winds.

Maybe it was the coldness of your empty side of the bed.

Or the weightlessness of my empty hands without yours in them.

Memories of you were inescapable. Everything about you lingered in the air.
In collaboration with Star Gazer :)
820 · Mar 2016
For Him
Lost Mar 2016
Be brave, my love.

**Your dearest,
Praying for him
812 · Mar 2016
14 Words on My Mind
Lost Mar 2016
I hope he goes to bed tonight,
knowing that he's loved*
more than anything.
I'd give anything to hold him in my arms again.
809 · Apr 2016
Till Death Do Us Part
Lost Apr 2016
I still get chills and waves of pain
When she writes and speaks your name.
But looking back,
Reading your words
And listening to recording you made,
I reminisce and smile,
Looking through pictures
Of our happy life together,
And don't feel afraid.
You loved me more than you ever had anyone else.
Forever in my heart,
And forever in my dreams,
I pray for angles to protect you,
Through the tears and screams.
You're all alone now,
Unable to find peace,
But know in your heart,
I will always be yours.
The day you promised,
We could name our first son Oliver.
The day you reminded me,
My initials would stay the same after we married.
The day you first told me,
How much I meant.
The day you proved,
Our love was cement.
I keep you in my thoughts and dreams,
And maybe one day,
It won't end up as bad as it seems.

Mrs. VR *******br>
An old one that deserves some light.
788 · Dec 2016
My Boy With Blue Eyes
Lost Dec 2016
I never imagined I'd meet someone like you

Lost but present
Open but secluded
Valiant but shy
Energetic but calm

Young and bright
Optimistic and kind
Utterly amazing
Thanks for letting me fall asleep on you.
786 · Mar 2017
Lost Mar 2017
You are a beast,
a monster,
an evil soul,
with an **** vendetta
and a heart of stone.

You play games with people's minds,
use them like pawns in your world,
but the thing you don"t realize is
I'm not just an ordinary girl.

I'm strong and powerful,
brave and mighty.
My heart is gold,
my soul

I am your undoing.
The end to your games.
I stand against you,
my army behind me.
Countless soldiers
ready for battle.

You can't win against us;
our cause is just,
to strike down the evil,
the monster
the beast.

And the beast,
my dear,
is you.
786 · Oct 2015
Warm Winds of August
Lost Oct 2015
August wind
in waves.

It’s goal
           to rip leaves
                      off trees
           standing tall
                      against it.

It bellows out gusts,
           tearing away at flower petals.

The once calm church field,
                                                       a battle ground.
                      A harsh whisper war.
           But soon
           it will
whip away,
761 · Jun 2016
Lost Jun 2016
I'm alone.
I have no one.
And no one has me.
Mainly because no one wants me.
No one wants my baggage,
My abandonment issues,
My mental illnesses,
My broken heart,
My need for constant love,
My need for constant attention,
My pathetic excuse for a personality,
My pitiful mannerisms,
My self loathing,
My need for a new home.
No one wants that.
I'm not good enough.
I've tried so hard,
Walked so many miles,
Seen so many therapists,
Taken so many pills,
Exhausted every option.
I just need care.
But until I'm able to heal from things I can't without someone to help,
No one will help.
Isn't that pathetic?
So I just sit,
Knees clutched to my chest,
Trying to forget the pain
That losing one person caused me,
And trying to convince myself
"I'm fine"
When clearly,
I will never be fine.
748 · Oct 2015
Lost Oct 2015
"I love you"'s
Lost May 2016
I wish he'd write a poem about me.
There's a millions of people who might,
but he's the only one I want to.
I don't know..
Maybe I like him,
maybe I'm just pathetic.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
Maybe he's the only guy who's been kind to me.
Maybe I just get too jealous.
I think I'm special,
but I'm really not.
Whoever he's in love with,
I hope she's better for him than I'd ever be.
I'm just too jealous of a person.
I just want someone to love me.

*I'm so pathetic
I'm sorry..
725 · Jan 2016
It's All My Fault
Lost Jan 2016
Because of me


will never be able to build their life.

Because of me


is to be imprisoned.*

Because of me


has had their life ruined.

Because of me


will be hurting for a very long time.

Because of me


*will never be able to trust anyone ever again.
724 · Dec 2015
Lost Dec 2015
You don’t know who she is.
You only see her face
and hear her name.
But if you really knew her,
you’d know that she’s a fighter.
She spends her days,
overcoming the pain,
not drowning in pills.
She provides for a family,
not for paying men.
She gives the world something more,
instead of taking what isn’t her’s.
She works for a cause,
not for drugs.
A saint among sinners.
A lover among aggressors.
A light among the dark.
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