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Jun 2020 · 708
Lost Jun 2020
I forgot what it felt like
To be burned
The familiar sting of sensitive skin brushed against fabric
All too real for me.
I wonder if she, too, felt pain like this.
Days spent basking in the sun on summer days,
While cancer scrawled upon her skin like a signature.
Sometimes I think she knew what she was doing,
Laying there,
Letting herself be killed,
But surely.
I hope she sees me,
Walking with friends.
Hundreds of us,
Marching for racial equality.
Would she have scoffed at the idea?
Or scolded me for not protecting my delicate shield?
“Your heart may armor your conviction,
But it does nothing for your ivory skin”?
But I know,
The lace on my wedding dress may hurt now,
But I will heal.
I cannot say the same for my brothers and sisters of color.
I will not let them lay there,
And be killed.
I received incredibly painful sunburn while protesting police brutality this weekend. If that's the worst pain I am delivered from this movement, I am beyond privileged.
Apr 2019 · 1.1k
Bad Friend
Lost Apr 2019
You knew how it would affect me and my relationship and you still did it.

I'll have wounds that can never heal because you chose to let it happen.

Was your own heartbreak not enough? Why did you want me to hurt too? What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing but care for and support you and help you.

You are both to blame but still, you messaged him first.
You didn't shut it down when you knew how much it would hurt me.

You're a bad friend.
Why me? Why do I constantly have to suffer for other people? My relationship isn't yours to have. Haven't you hurt me enough?
Lost Feb 2019
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to get married October 3rd, 2020.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to walk down the aisle in a white gown I picked.  
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to walk myself because I'm not an object to be "handed off".
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to get closer and closer but yet it feels so far away.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to see eyes on me I only wished would have given me that much attention growing up.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to vow to the man I love that I will "always be with You".
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to cry because life feels like its moving so fast yet the moment's pass so slow.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to pray that people care enough to come.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to hope his family accepts me without a second thought.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to convince myself that "I'm strong enough" to hold it together.
I'm getting married in October.
I'm going to marry the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
I'm getting married in October.
"I'm going to be his wife."
I'm getting married in October.
I'm getting married.

Man I'm old
Jan 2019 · 240
Lost Jan 2019

i think she forgets



his victim

he used me too, but the love he felt for me was stronger
Nov 2018 · 351
Lost Nov 2018
"I never had much interest in the heavens
But last night, a streak of light shot past Orion

They say that a shooting star can grant your wish
So as this bolt flew from the hunter's bow

You were the only beacon in my mind
However, I think I'll look to the sky again

Perhaps a broken lover obtained their wish
Or perhaps I stole the opportunity from another

The fact I know:
I will wish on every star until my love is returned"
My fiancé wrote this poem for me 2 years ago
Oct 2018 · 440
We Call
Lost Oct 2018
You head over at 6 pm on Wednesdays,

You call me.

You leave on Sunday mornings,

I call you.

You've only been gone 3 hours,

You call me.

You leave for work at 5:15 pm,

I call you.

You don't get your first break until 10 pm,

You call me.

You get off work at 6 am,

I call you.

Every day.

We call.
Long distance is hard, but we make it work.
Sep 2018 · 315
Lost Sep 2018
The days you're gone are the hardest,
I sit alone in the living room,
trying to find the courage to do the impossible;
live without you.

Seconds feel like hours,
hours feel like days,
moments pass me by,
moving in slow motion.

No matter where you go,
no matter how far,
I will be waiting,
til the end of time.
9/23 - 9/26
three days too many
Mar 2018 · 347
Lost Mar 2018
I eat ***.
Thank you.
Feb 2018 · 625
Lost Feb 2018
he touched me like i was fragile piece of glass
held me in his arms as if i would shatter if he let go
kissed my forehead so gentle it was as if his lips weren't even there
wiped away my tears like they were made of vapor
and spoke like he was telling me the most important secret in the whole world
"I love you"
I love my fiance.
Aug 2017 · 609
Lonely Melody
Lost Aug 2017
A lonely melody played in slow motion,
flashbacks of laughter and words unspoken,
a haunting memory of hearts being broken,
I am a fish swimming in my own ocean,
fists tightened and heart ready for devotion,
with that lonely melody tearing me open,
veins of fire with loves potion,
a boy and a girl and a life chosen,
you can't contain the purest emotion,
a lonely melody will always been golden,
once the course is set and guns are loaded,
love cannot be destroyed or mearly stolen,
it is the one true token,
so hold fast to your love and cherish the moment,
after all that lonely melody can turn to a poem.
Yay I'm writing again after a long while of hiatus!
Aug 2017 · 1.6k
Big Sister
Lost Aug 2017
For the girl who makes me wish I had a sister like her,
don't let them break you or stand in your way.
They need you and love you,
no matter what your stepmom might say.
I know my opinion is not desired,
but I know better than anyone,
those little ones need you.
So **** what she says and don't back down.
You're strong and brave,
a fighter, a lover,
a hero,
a sister.
And that's worth fighting for.
We may have our differences and our battles but I would never wish you to be apart from your little brother and sister. They need you and you need them. Good luck. If you need anything, I got you.
Jul 2017 · 772
Lost Jul 2017
Your ego
is about
as fragile
as glass.
I'd rather
cut myself
on the shards
than piece it
I may be
at least
I'm not
Don't even try to start drama because this isn't about you.
Jul 2017 · 390
Lost Jul 2017
I made the initiative
to board the train
got left with nothing
only pain

I tried to fly
and fell a great height
maybe that's why
I can't put up the fight

I hide away
I sit at home
maybe that's why
I'm all alone

until the next life
I carry this weight
the darkness is now
my natural state
Jul 2017 · 397
Lost Jul 2017
Trying to describe your depression to someone is like trying to describe a color to someone who has been blind their whole life.
Jul 2017 · 433
Lost Jul 2017
Strength is the ability to stare fear in the face,
*and smile at it.
I had such an amazing night.
Jun 2017 · 538
My love,
Lost Jun 2017
I can't wait to spend the rest of forever with you.
I don't write about my boyfriend enough but I think it's because I really can't put words to how strongly I feel about him and how happy he makes me. I couldn't ask for a better partner in crime.
Jun 2017 · 2.7k
Afraid of the Dark
Lost Jun 2017
When I was little,
I used to hate having my door closed,
I would scream and cry
In fear of what the shadows could hold.
I was afraid of a box
Where I’d be held hostage
Caged with a lock
And no key
Back then
That pain was like the sting of a bee.
Now at 17 I realize that I wasn’t afraid of the dark
I was afraid of depression
Making its mark.
I was afraid of the endless battle of trying to fall asleep
Not wanting to wake up
But not wanting to dream.
I was afraid of the hope I would lose in that battle
Afraid of the chains
That made my hollow bones rattle,
Because in the light of a new day
I’d stay inside
“I’m tired” I’d say,
But the truth was much simpler
Than a cheap fix
I am afraid of myself
And I can’t change it.
Jun 2017 · 465
Joseph and the Rose
Lost Jun 2017
She was his love,
is elegance,
his life,
his grace.
He was her love,
and her only mistake.
Page 2
Jun 2017 · 765
Lost Jun 2017
It's a strange feeling,
being too scared to leave your home,
to have to lock the doors,
and keep checking to make sure they stay locked,
to have people come get you if they want to go on a walk,
to have your mom tell you that she doesn't want you walking alone at any hour,
you even have to drive to work.
I'm terrified.
I don't feel safe being home alone,
being outside,
being in my hometown,
being in my county,
being in my state.
I'm terrified of the things she's capable of.
I'm terrified of the means she's willing to go to,
just to make herself feel better.
I'm terrified of the darkness she brings,
the shadow she casts on my happy life.
And the worst part is,
**I'm not the only one who's terrified of her.
The squad is planning a mass suicide tbh
Lost Jun 2017
As we drove down ES,
20 minutes away from "goodbye",
The Weekend was blasting,
I received a text.
"What now?"
You asked.
"It's Emilie."
I replied.
I read her question aloud and sighed.
"I'm sorry,"
My voice is shaky and I know what you're going to say.
"I love you."
And at that moment,
My favorite lyrics play.
And you sing along as if replying to my confession of love.
"I think we need to take a break."
A sob ripples through me,
You ease on the breaks,
And pull over.
You take me in your arms,
Stubble pressed to my forehead.
We sit there for a while,
Silent except for my sobs.
"I'm afraid all of this 'Mark' stuff has really impacted how your friends trust you."
"I'm sorry,"
I choke out once more,
"I love you."
I love you.
*And this won't change that.
I will always be with You.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Because if mistakes I made in my past, i have only the future to look for.
Jun 2017 · 342
A Quote from Someone I Love
Lost Jun 2017
"Think about it, we have each other and all she has is her rage."*

Because one can't simply be happy in this world without there being people to try to tear them down.
Oh dear..
Lost Jun 2017
"Tell me how much"*

I love you like you strung the stars in the sky, just for me, because I swear you did.
I couldn't live my life without you.
Jun 2017 · 692
Lost Jun 2017
You can't change the past
you sick, twisted *****.
There is nothing you can do
to escape it.
Heaven and Hell.
Earth and Sky.
Sick and Well.
Hello and Goodbye.
Think what you want
but they know the truth,
all you do is haunt,
and waste your youth.
Disclaimer: don't even try to think this is about you because you're not the only one who has hurt me <3
Jun 2017 · 464
Lost Jun 2017
I spoke your name like a prayer,
and you sang mine like it was your favorite song.
I loved you like puppy loves her person,
and you loved me like star in the night.
We were torn and broken,
lost and hurt.
I will always be with You.
You will always be with Me.
No matter what happens,
how far apart we are,
we will always have each other.
And that's true love,
isn't it?
Since I'm not allowed to use my previous title becasue someone else used it but they can use mine and I can't say ****.
Jun 2017 · 1.3k
I Will Never Surender
Lost Jun 2017
I will never give up on you.
No matter how hard the tide pushes,
no matter how strong the wind may blow,
I will stand with you,
strong and tall.
are afraid and brave.
am terrified and resilient.
we are in love.
we will overcome.
we are one.
Nor hell or high water,
will tear us apart.
Jun 2017 · 493
How The World Works
Lost Jun 2017
He was a boy,
and I,
I was a comet.
I shot in and out of sight,
in an instant.
A flash of light
that lit up his world,
before turning into dust.
He didn't know it at the time,
but that light he saw,
he'd carry with him,
for the rest of his life.
Page 1
Jun 2017 · 2.0k
Love Don't Die Easy
Lost Jun 2017
You'd think after 2 years,
the feelings would be gone.
You'd think after all of the pain,
I'd be able to forget.
But my heart is still attached.
You got the biggest piece of me I could offer,
and you treasured it,
but you were hurting and lost,
didn't know what to do.
But you loved me.
You did.
You gave me what you could.
You tried to make me happy.
But you were damaged
and so was I.
So I hope,
after all this time,
we can find our love again.
Because my love don't die easy.
I miss you, Mark.
Jun 2017 · 513
It's Not Over Yet
Lost Jun 2017
The battle isn't over until it's won.

Life isn't over until your last breath.

And last time I checked,

my heart is still beating.

So I carry on.
Jun 2017 · 414
Shattered Glass
Lost Jun 2017
All it takes is a little push,
and there it goes,
the happiness,
the hope,
the love,
the strength,
the will to carry on,
like glass
at your feet.
That's when you realize
how broken you really are.
May 2017 · 505
I Will Always Be With You
Lost May 2017
You have me
and I have you.

You love me
and I love you.

You treasure me
and I treasure you.

You adore me
and I adore you.

You want me
and I want you.

You need me
and I need you.

You're my everything
and I am yours.

I Will Always Be With You
through thick and thin
through life and love
through the ups and downs
through the pain and the suffering
through sickness and health
I Will Always Be With You
kinda wrote my wedding vows thinking about our promise rings and what they mean to us
May 2017 · 406
Lost May 2017
I am happier than you,
don't take it personal,
but it's true.
My life has direction,
does not.
bully for fun,
lie to get attention,
create false personality traits,
to appeal to others.
go out of my way,
shower my loved ones with
and gifts.
show my true colors.
don't hide my flaws.
That's how to be happy.
Make others love the

And hopefully,
you learn how to.
May 2017 · 602
When You Lie Next To Me
Lost May 2017
2:27 AM:

We have plans today,
You and me.
Our "first date",
We decided to call it.
Our promise rings,
Are on their way.
Our future,
Brighter than ever.

When you lie next to me,
I'm home.
When you kiss me,
I'm free.
When you touch me,
I come alive.
When you hold me,
I'm safe.
When you say my name,
I melt.
When you tell me you love me,
I cry.

I've never been loved this way before,
And I'd be scared but in my heart I know,
When you lie next to me,
**You're the one.
I love you more than anything.
May 2017 · 537
Lost May 2017
I feel safe in your arms,
your scar blemished,
I feel happy in your gaze,
your green,
I feel content in your company,
your goofy,
I feel loved in your heart,
you sweet,
You are the love of my life. I know that.
May 2017 · 819
Lost May 2017
1.91667 years
23 months
99.9406 weeks
699.584 days
16790 hours
1,007,400 minutes
60,444,000 seconds

That's how long it's been since our first 'I love you'
******* hell jesus christ rip my soul
May 2017 · 459
Lost May 2017
I miss him.
I miss the way he kissed me.
I miss the way he would hold me.
I miss the way he smiled at me.
The way he looked into my eyes.
How he made me feel content.
I miss how he'd joke about my tiny hands.
I miss the scent of him on my pillow.
I miss the love he gave me,
and how he showed it.
He's all I want and need,
so I miss him.
And I don't regret it.
I'm so glad I turned into your Elbow. I miss you B flat.
May 2017 · 2.3k
Lost May 2017
Pronounced like "Mack"

I love you.

The both of you?

I hate it.

I do.

One of you knows me for who I am.

The other knows me for who I've been all my life.

Both of you are so out of reach.

Both of you hold special places in my heart.

Both of you care for me in different ways.

Both of you have seen me at my worst.

Both of you deserve to be happy.

I just wish I didn't think the both of you deserve me.
Boys Are Gross™
May 2017 · 557
Lost May 2017
The world is full of things I hate,
things I could much rather live without.
When people are rude to their parents,
when people complain about their hardships but do nothing to overcome them,
when people **** shame girls for the same things guys are praised for,
when I get told something about me is wrong when I can't help it,
when people project their problems onto those who do nothing to deserve the suffering,
when I'm harassed for even existing,
when people lie when they know the other person knows the truth,
when I come home to drug and alcohol use by someone I have no authority over,
when I have nightmares so vivid, I can't tell what's reality anymore,
when people try to control other people's lives,
when I can't even get out of bed without wishing I was dead,
when I accidentally rhyme,
when I can't even be happy on my Prom night because my depression prevents any kind of happiness from truly being my emotion,
when I can't stop shaking at Post Prom because my anxiety is killing me and I hate feeling alone when I'm surrounded by people who love me.
I hate this.
I hate you.
I hate them.
I hate myself.
I mean true put I'm just ranting I don't think I'm capable of true hate so idk man
Apr 2017 · 337
December 1st, 2015
Lost Apr 2017
I miss you.
I've missed you every day.
I wish you weren't so stupid.
I wish I wasn't so dumb.
I wish we could be happy.
I wish you were still my fork.
Apr 2017 · 762
Oh Dear
Lost Apr 2017
My brain has chemical imbalance
held inside a ceramic palace
The fabrication of lies
and blankness behind the eyes,
with bloodstains on my body,
assault is my hobby.
Not on others you see,
just on 'lil ol' me.
And hunger isn’t a concern,
I want my body to burn.
My own pulse drives me insane,
I’d rather devoured by pain.
You’d think I’d wish the reverse,
but I love it, and that’s my curse.
Whoops I'm emo
Apr 2017 · 554
Kampf Lied
Lost Apr 2017
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face,
I didn't know what it meant so I just hid it away.
That's my problem,
you see,
whenever the sun shines,
I hide in fear,
that's my sin.
don't really know what I'm fight'n for,
but I do know it's important so I implore
myself to get up,
wipe away the tears,
forget the grinding gears
in my soul.
I know it's hard to comprehend
the things I've been through
but ya gotta understand,
I'm just 17 and I've seen the worst of life,
been kicked down every time I tried to fight.
I can't win,
I can't lose,
'cause I got nothin' left,
just me,
and I will never forget,
how I fought those battles,
broke down those walls,
stood up and braced the impact
of every fall.
I'm strong but I'm weak in way you can't understand,
I work hard so I don't have to see it again,
that world I was brought in,
the pain I saw,
the and I will never forget.
This is my fight song.
Accidentally wrote something while talking to myself. It's fun to read out loud though.
Apr 2017 · 3.5k
Lost Apr 2017
I love when people,
think they can do no wrong.
Think they're in charge,
of everyone else's fate.
Hurt just feel
a sense of superiority.
you see,
when you play with fire,
you will get burned.
And if you play with a rose,
you will get the thorns.
When you realize you're more powerful than you think, the world becomes less scary. Stay strong. They only win if you let them.
Apr 2017 · 3.8k
My Dear
Lost Apr 2017
If someone is gay,
Don't relentlessly pursue them.
You seem to miss the point,
They don't like your gender that way.
So please leave them be,
They doesn't deserve this from you.
Just because they're nice,
And you think they're cute,
And you like them,
You seem to think you can get whatever you want.
Please don't put that on them.
They have no need for pointless drama and lies from you.
They're not stupid.
They know the truth.
So it's best to save yourself the trouble of changing something you can't,
Just because you can manipulate others,
Doesn't mean the same can happen with sexuality.
If only people listened ¯\_( ツ)_/¯
Apr 2017 · 943
2 Years
Lost Apr 2017
For those who don't know,
And for those who do,
I have something
I'd really like to share with you.

Today marks 2 years,
Today marks 730 days,
Today marks 1,051,200 minutes,
Since I last took a blade to my skin.

I've come a long way since I was 15,
And even though I still have a lot of life left,
I'm thankful for every minute I've been alive.
And I want to thank those who have helped me get to this point.
Without you,
I'd be lost.
I'd be down.
I might even be dead.
But I'm not.
I'm stronger now than I will ever be.
And there's no one who can take that from me.
I never thought I'd make it...
Apr 2017 · 446
Stayin' Alive
Lost Apr 2017
I've been kicked around,
that's a fact.
I've fallen down,
but I've come back.
I've stood tall,
through all the ****.
I've broke a couple falls,
and taken some hits.
I've had to crawl,
to find my grit.
I've been stayin' alive,
so I can fight.
I've had to strive,
to make it through the night.
I've learned to use my drive,
to see my own light.
I've found a way to thrive,
without ruining someone's life.

So to those who a still fighting,
don't give up,
stay strong,
don't let them bring you down,
you are powerful,
and you can make it through anything.

Listened to a cover and got inspired.
Mar 2017 · 414
Thank You
Lost Mar 2017
In my entire life I had never noticed,
how much I mean to others.

I saw myself as a spec of dust,
hardly worth the oxygen I needed to survive.

But once I opened myself to the warm arms
of the many people who love me,
I knew who I was.

I made a list,
of all of you.

108 and counting,
of people who care.

When I posted about it,
so many of you said,
"I'm on there, right?"

Of course you are.
I wouldn't be who I am
without you.

So thank you,
all of you,
for helping me survive.
To all the people who I listed or have yet to list.
Mar 2017 · 1.1k
Lost Mar 2017
My strength lies with them

the people who make me feel at home

we are not a club

we are a family.

We stand strong

hold each other up

protect our own .

We thrive on the happiness

we give each other.

We are one

like the song from The Lion King 2

we sang together today

right before double run through.

I love you guys

and I'll never stop.

Thank you so much

for being my family.
I love you all so much.
Mar 2017 · 602
Lost Mar 2017
I am Strong

I am  Powerful

I am Brave

I am Strong

I am Powerful

I am Brave

**I am Strong

I am Powerful

I am Brave
Είμαι δυνατός
Mar 2017 · 2.6k
Lost Mar 2017
I'm happier,
I promise.
I'm doing better,
You don't have to this,
I'm sorry that I'm hurting,
and I know,
you are too.
But what I don't understand,
is what I mean to you.
You say I'm your best friend,
but you don't act like it.
That night we hung out,
you made me feel things again,
and as much as I hated that,
I loved it all the same.
I'm happier,
I promise.
Now that you're not sad,
even though,
it hurts me,
I love seeing you smile again.
I care about you,
in more ways than one.
I can't escape it,
I wish I could.
Believe me,
I wish I could.
I'm happier,
I promise.
Even though I'm lying,
I know it's what you want to hear,
so I'll just fake it.
When Ed Sheeran makes you fall for your best friend
Mar 2017 · 342
Lost Mar 2017
noun: vendetta; plural noun: vendettas
a prolonged bitter quarrel with or campaign against someone.
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