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Lost Jul 2017
Strength is the ability to stare fear in the face,
*and smile at it.
I had such an amazing night.
Lost Jun 2017
I can't wait to spend the rest of forever with you.
I don't write about my boyfriend enough but I think it's because I really can't put words to how strongly I feel about him and how happy he makes me. I couldn't ask for a better partner in crime.
Lost Jun 2017
When I was little,
I used to hate having my door closed,
I would scream and cry
In fear of what the shadows could hold.
I was afraid of a box
Where I’d be held hostage
Caged with a lock
And no key
Back then
That pain was like the sting of a bee.
Now at 17 I realize that I wasn’t afraid of the dark
I was afraid of depression
Making its mark.
I was afraid of the endless battle of trying to fall asleep
Not wanting to wake up
But not wanting to dream.
I was afraid of the hope I would lose in that battle
Afraid of the chains
That made my hollow bones rattle,
Because in the light of a new day
I’d stay inside
“I’m tired” I’d say,
But the truth was much simpler
Than a cheap fix
I am afraid of myself
And I can’t change it.
Lost Jun 2017
She was his love,
is elegance,
his life,
his grace.
He was her love,
and her only mistake.
Page 2
Lost Jun 2017
It's a strange feeling,
being too scared to leave your home,
to have to lock the doors,
and keep checking to make sure they stay locked,
to have people come get you if they want to go on a walk,
to have your mom tell you that she doesn't want you walking alone at any hour,
you even have to drive to work.
I'm terrified.
I don't feel safe being home alone,
being outside,
being in my hometown,
being in my county,
being in my state.
I'm terrified of the things she's capable of.
I'm terrified of the means she's willing to go to,
just to make herself feel better.
I'm terrified of the darkness she brings,
the shadow she casts on my happy life.
And the worst part is,
**I'm not the only one who's terrified of her.
The squad is planning a mass suicide tbh
Lost Jun 2017
As we drove down ES,
20 minutes away from "goodbye",
The Weekend was blasting,
I received a text.
"What now?"
You asked.
"It's Emilie."
I replied.
I read her question aloud and sighed.
"Baby?"
"I'm sorry,"
My voice is shaky and I know what you're going to say.
"I love you."
And at that moment,
My favorite lyrics play.
And you sing along as if replying to my confession of love.
"I think we need to take a break."
A sob ripples through me,
You ease on the breaks,
And pull over.
You take me in your arms,
Stubble pressed to my forehead.
We sit there for a while,
Silent except for my sobs.
"I'm afraid all of this 'Mark' stuff has really impacted how your friends trust you."
"I'm sorry,"
I choke out once more,
"I love you."
I love you.
*And this won't change that.
I will always be with You.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Because if mistakes I made in my past, i have only the future to look for.
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