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halioth Jan 8
Like a magician performing
His favorite trick
Yet I always feel the need
To put a stop to it
So I don’t end up posting
For the whole world to see
That I’m longing for relief

I wish I needed no makeup
Or money
I wish I wasn’t wounded
From what society is
And that’s the beginning of it

I wish on my palm it was written
Who I’m supposed to be
I wish it didn’t hurt
Everytime I seek

I wish the curtains up above
Shall be drawn
With Heaven coming down
For the whole world to receive
Wish it came down
Every time it rains

I hold on to my beliefs
That this is just brief
And soon, the real story?
It shall begin
halioth Jan 8
I’ve had one too many
I’m brutally honest
Even with myself
As to how certain behaviors
Don’t change
Real feelings
Embedded within the soul

So much regret
So much I’ve given
So much indebted to me
That might never be paid

A look at myself
I’m all that you said I am
In the text that you sent
Whilst angry
I’m not perfect like your ex
Far from it
I’m difficult even in my features

Maybe if I was bolder
Maybe if I was cute
Maybe if I was six figures richer
Things will be beaut
But they are not
And my head hurts
From this impending pain
That the the thought of you brings

I’m glad that I’m alive
I’ll be way gladder dead
For that which I know
Keeps me awake
All the nights in the days
I’m aware that
It is only the beginning
And there’s little gladness within

I’m a prisoner
To my truth
I’m darker than I see
I’m a horrific figure to behold

These words
I try everyday not to abuse
The blankness of the now my fuse
I have it only, so I use

I deny and I reduce
My awareness of it all
I refuse to be
What I am
Though, I dunno how

In a little circle
I play ignorant to amuse
And save me from myself
halioth Jan 8
My heart quiver with bitterness
For this life that is mine
halioth Jan 2019
as I’ve learnt,
a long time ago

a blue sky,
doesn’t make
a beautiful day

for beauty,
even in our perception
lies within
halioth Dec 2018
following thought,
like fluid,

I’m not stopping.
halioth Sep 2018
Maybe one day we’ll wake up
And all these will be a prologue
Then the real story begins
  Jun 2018 halioth
Remember when we first met?
                  I wish we could meet again for the first time.
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