My heart bears down on me
heavy, weighted, tired
I stumble
dazed and somber
into one thing and then the next
Grasping, always grasping
for something better
because this can't be it
This can't be all
It's not enough
I want more
The sun shines on my cheeks
but I am still cold
a loving hand with warmth like music
like a favorite song
touches my cheek
caresses my hair
familiar lips kiss my forehead
sweetly
as dazzling colors float,
like a mist of love
all around me
but can't quite reach
Can't quite reach my heart
The tears like words unspoken
wait, hanging
Could it be that love can't be
love for me
can't grow within me
can't come for me
until someone brings it first
Why can't I hold true
this person who everyone else
loves so readily, me
I walk through the winter
of my mind
clutching my raw heart
frozen
looking for an ending
a warm place
to ****** it
to thaw it
I walk forward
into a life
to be proud of
numb, unsatisfied
ungrateful
Don't want anyone
don't want me
don't want my life, don't want yours
I want more
Is this all there is
this can't be all
it's not enough
Kiss me and never stop
take me through this self-indulgent maze
this self-indulgent mess
Kiss me and never stop
I could devour this world
so easily
It's not enough
I want more
I am more
more than this
more than a soul
with puppet strings