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Alexis Mar 30
It's weird to think that I am you
and you are me
we may not live the same life
or like the same things
but I am you
and you are me

It's weird to imagine how you
wish upon the same star that I do
but we wish for different things
I wish for a fulfilled life
a family
a future
I have no way of knowing what you wish for
but still, I am you
and you are me

It's weird to think that you have grown so much
from where I am today
I look back 6 years from now,
and I don't recognize myself
Is it the same when you think of who I am today
no matter how different we may seem
I am you
and you are me
Alexis Mar 29
We've all imagined
Wedding dresses and vails
growing up
losing our pig-tails and overalls
trading them in for
beach waves and crop tops
only for the person in our
Reflection
to turn into a complete
s t r a n g e r

staring blank faced at a girl you can't recognize anymore
drawing imaginary lines on our bodies with our eyes
cutting away the imperfections with
our hands shaped as
scissors,

wishing
we could look like
the models in the magazines
or
the actresses on the tv screens
But, society tells us
we can Never be
Skinny
enough
Never be
Pretty
enough
That our features will
NEVER
be
Good
e n o u g h

Because the girl in the mirror who has lost all hope
can Never amount to
what we have been taught from the time we could
walk and talk
what beautiful is;

We went from carefree children
to teens who are
depressed and anxious
all the time
most of us addicted to Nicotine and Alcohol
our parents tell us to smile and quit with the attitudes
but behind closed doors we criticize ourselves
enough

The little girl in her pigtails
playing with everyone on the playground
so innocent
so pure
get labeled as a racist
in the 6th grade because her skin is white

By the time she enters high school
she knows better than to state an opinion,
the teachers know Best,
never stand up to a man,
he's superior to you,
even when behind the closed doors
he touches you when you say STOP
but you know better than to say something
cause you had to have wanted it,
take it as a compliment,
it just means you're pretty

if you say anything you'll be labeled as a
W h o r e
if you keep quiet it's an invitation for
M o r e

people asking
"why do you flinch at a simple touch?"
how do you explain years of torment to a complete
s t r a n g e r,
you don't, you smile and act dumb

pretty is a vocabulary word to describe anyone
but the girl that is seen in the mirror
because she is
Not
Good
e n o u g h
and she knows that

she has lost friends cause she can't trust them

she changes her style monthly

trying sooo hard just to be
accepted
she doesn't remember
the little girl in pigtails,
she doesn't remember
what a real smile looks like,
the pain behind her eyes
c l o u d s
her reality
the voice in her head telling her
"you're eating too much"
"you're an idiot"
"you'll never amount to anything"
and she
s     l     o     w     l    y
fades away
til there is nothing left
to put back together
cause her mind and heart are
s c   a   t t e  r e     d
aimlessly
shes numb and she
thinks, this is what happiness feels like
no more pain
no more criticizing
No, more
pretending to be okay
Alexis May 2019
May your dreams attend
the Sandman’s watch
with happiness and bliss,
and may those dreams be soothing
as the lightest fairy’s kiss.

May evil tidings yet abide
in cells you’ve buries deep.
Let not even the strongest rumors
of their shadows ere
disturb thy sleep.

Put aside your cares and woes,
and for this night abide,
where azure waves
lap silver shores
and hopes drifts
along with the tide.

And so, goodnight.
I wish thee well
and when you next arise
let nothing stop
thy happiness
beneath the golden laced,
pastel skies
Alexis Jan 2019
The Words That Broke me to Rubble

The mountains I once said I would climb for you,
Have come crashing down
You are that one who caused it to ignite
The dynamite that turned stone to ash
The words that would sarenate me,
now drive daggers through all who are gullible enough to listen
Your words broke me to rubble
Your gaze broke my heart
Your touch shattered my skin
The mountains I once said I would climb for you,
Have come crashing down
And there is no one at the bottom to save me from hitting the ground
If you haven’t yet read my poem murmur
Alexis Jan 2019
I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music I probably will forget
playing in the background
In a few years I'll be arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I am here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring right?

I call myself a poet
but I can't use simple metaphors,

I call myself a poet
but I can't describe exactly
how you make me feel

I call myself a poet
BUt I'm not so...
what am I?

I'm just a kid
scared of life and the dark
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can I choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

And you see?
Don't you see?

don't worry I can't see it either

I can't see how I am
I can't see how other people see me
I wish I could.

I want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
I could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

I wish to be there
I wish to see what I can't
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

I wish things were different,
so I wouldn't have to wish anymore
  Jan 2019 Alexis
Lila
People lie and say it's going to be ok
People lie and say we will make it through this
They lie and say they would do any thing for me
The lies drown me
They never leave my head
They haunt me forever
They taunt me till I give up
People lie and say they would climb the highest mountain with me
But it's to late because I've already let go
Alexis Oct 2018
We’ve known each other for two years,
So, why now
Why, After all this time
You acted as if you dispiesd me;
You taunted me, called me names
The script you read burned holes through my heart
The less you knew the better

The constellations that formed from the stars in your eyes, used to make my thoughts freeze
But after all this time, I’ve moved on,

and yet the curiosity has gotten me
After all this time I’m
Tongue tied,
a twisted mind
Over the mystery of you,
Wanting to know
Every dimension of your personality,
Your mannerisms,
And what makes you laugh,
So I can strive to be that one person
That truly knows you,
So I can be on your mind,
Like you’re on mine

Every moment of the day
Even after all this time,
I am lost, swimming
In a sea of irrational possibilities
That maybe you could like me too
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