I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music I probably will forget
playing in the background
In a few years I'll be arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I am here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring right?

I call myself a poet
but I can't use simple metaphors,

I call myself a poet
but I can't describe exactly
how you make me feel

I call myself a poet
BUt I'm not so...
what am I?

I'm just a kid
scared of life and the dark
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can I choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

And you see?
Don't you see?

don't worry I can't see it either

I can't see how I am
I can't see how other people see me
I wish I could.

I want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
I could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

I wish to be there
I wish to see what I can't
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

I wish things were different,
so I wouldn't have to wish anymore

People lie and say it's going to be ok
People lie and say we will make it through this
They lie and say they would do any thing for me
The lies drown me
They never leave my head
They haunt me forever
They taunt me till I give up
People lie and say they would climb the highest mountain with me
But it's to late because I've already let go

We’ve known each other for two years,
So, why now
Why, After all this time
You acted as if you dispiesd me;
You taunted me, called me names
The script you read burned holes through my heart
The less you knew the better

The constellations that formed from the stars in your eyes, used to make my thoughts freeze
But after all this time, I’ve moved on,

and yet the curiosity has gotten me
After all this time I’m
Tongue tied,
a twisted mind
Over the mystery of you,
Wanting to know
Every dimension of your personality,
Your mannerisms,
And what makes you laugh,
So I can strive to be that one person
That truly knows you,
So I can be on your mind,
Like you’re on mine

Every moment of the day
Even after all this time,
I am lost, swimming
In a sea of irrational possibilities
That maybe you could like me too

I’m so exhausted
of reliving the same pain
and then dying  from it
over and
   over and
      over again

you  never leave my
                                     mind

every thought of you
rises in me like a new dawn
every memory stains my eyes
with tears that linger within me like stars  
in plain daylight
dimming the sun to a point
where I can barely see

your love has buried me
so     deeply within      myself,

I rise and you begin to  rise within   me
like a wondering shadow clinging to the side of the   moon


but is forever lost

because the daylight finally shines in my eyes
and this time I won’t let it go