All my life Ive wondered why I was alive,
All the pain, all the heartbreak, all the horrors i survived,
And then one day I met you,
And all my stars aligned,
I lived to see your smile,
And then you said goodbye,
You painted my world in color,
Woke me from my slumber,
Now the darkest parts of me
Trickle out my eyes,

I lived to see your smile,
I’m dying with your goodbye.

Why do I always fall in love with the kind of people that wont love me back?

Every morning I listen to bag pipes while I shower, I always feel so ridiculous standing there water spraying while the god awful music blares. But then I smile, because it makes me think of you.
You like to listen to them when you’re exercising. I’ll never understand your choices in music, the German folk songs you send me to fall asleep to, the weird bands you insist will teach me something, or the fact that you listen to Beethoven for fun (just like every serial killer ever). You have a disturbing ******* for guns, literally. I think you once told me you love shooting guns more than having ***, and I whole heartily believe you. I think you always managed to say the most awkward and terrible things and make me seriously question why I’m even friends with you. But then you look at me with those deep sea eyes and I feel electrified. In fact the only time I feel alive is when I’m standing next to you. Everyone says you never talk, but it seems like I can never get you to shut up. Always sharing way to much “I did not need to know that” information. The word ***** that comes spewing out of your mouth astounds me. Some people think your odd and intimidating cause you’re eccentric and always have this dark brooding look on your face. But they just don’t get you, I love that you are wholeheartedly yourself and nothing else. You like what you like and never compromise on that to impress someone or fit in. You stick out in an ocean of bland personalities. No one makes me laugh the way you do. No one makes me feel the way you do, most people don’t make me feel at all. Your smile keeps my wheels turning so why do you have to leave? Go on this journey without me. I’m terrified to think that you're going to start sending German folks songs to someone else, that their Apple Music suggestions will look identical to mine.

I don’t want anyone else to listen to bag pipes in the shower.

You must be the devil,
My head knows you’re bad news but my heart still skips for you,
I know every kiss is blasphemy,
Every touch leading me straight to hell,
But I can’t get enough of your poison,
Desperate to feel your eyes staring at my skin,
You must be the devil,
And I’ve welcomed you in.

I always knew you’d break my heart, So why am I still surprised that you did?
You let me see parts of you that no one has, then you left those parts with me,
And took some of me away with you.
My tears are like acid on my skin,
How did you root yourself within me so deeply but still leave without a care?
You coaxed the love I was reluctant to give only to let it shrivel in a hole you dug into my chest. Even now I miss you, all it took was one smile from you to destroy my entire world. Those deep sea eyes had me in a trance, like a siren waiting to drown me. You came in like a whirl wind and swept me off my feet, but didn’t stick around to catch me while I fell. My body broke upon the concrete, my pieces scattered about.
I think I’ll just leave them, I don’t think I’d recognize myself even if I managed to assemble what remained.
Cracked porcelain instead of youthful skin, just an empty vessel left for the moths. And stupidly I’d do it all again, just to hear you laugh one more time. I’d do it all again.