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Lee Jackman Oct 24
I been out drinking in our favourite drinking place, you was ways there playing crib with the other elders from the social club.

But this time your seat was empty this time your seat was Bear. I came home full of drink to hear the devastatingly news that you was no longer with us.
You will be missed it wont be the same without your presence in that group of men.

I know your child well and her children just as well. We will do our best to look after them though this horrible time.

We are sad to see you go but hope your free from pain and sitting with your wife under an old tree in the rain.
Lee Jackman Oct 24
I never understood the power of a hug, until i couldn't hug.

I couldn't understand what feeling lonely really ment, till i couldn't see friends and family.

These things i now crave, I know what its like to miss them.

COVID took these things from me and i dont think i will ever be the same again
Lee Jackman Oct 12
I tell myself i am happy being single.
You tell me thats not true.

I tell myself i dont need a family of my own.
You tell me you would make a fantastic father

I tell myself you will see the real me eventually and leave anyway.
You tell me you know me and that will never happen.

I tell myself im a waste of space and the world would be better without me.
You tell me im not and your life is better with me in it.

I tell myself if it wasnt for you i dont know where i would be.
You tell me i will never have to find out.

I tell myself how lucky i am to have you.
You say the same.
Please excuse any spelling, Im dyslexic. I have not had the confidence to share any of my poems until very recently. So kind words please
Lee Jackman Oct 12
Im in a room full of people.
In my head im alone.

People tell me you an amazing person we like having you around.
In my head im alone.

Please come out tonight they say, your the life of the party.
In my head im alone.

Its amazing how i can look on the outside when in my head im alone.
Please excuse any spelling, Im dyslexic. I have not had the confidence to share any of my poems until very recently. So kind words please
Lee Jackman Oct 12
Why do nice guys always come last?
Iv got so much love to give.
I would do everything in my power to give you the best life.
I would be loyal.
You would be loved.
You could trust me with everything.
Our children would know a loving father.
But it feels like you dont want that.
It feels like you would rather be with a player.
It feels like you would rather be cheated on.
It feels like you would rather you children didnt know there father.
Maybe you dont really want the nice guy?
Please excuse any spelling, Im dyslexic. I have not had the confidence to share any of my poems until very recently. So kind words please
Lee Jackman Oct 12
Is it weak of me as a man to admit to wanting a hug?

Does it make me less of a man to say how much i crave a person's touch?

As a man an i aloud to say i feel lonely?

Whatever your answers I still just want a hug.
Please excuse any spelling, Im dyslexic. I have not had the confidence to share any of my poems until very recently. So kind words please
Lee Jackman Oct 8
I stare at the clock on my bedside table watching each minute pass by.

Clear your mind i keep telling myself, Clear your mind.

The red light from the alarm clock seems brighter tonight or maybe its just darker?

Seems like ever thought iv ever had is rushing at me all at once.

Im wondering if i will ever sleep again.

Another minute passes by.

I think of all the people i have ever upset, or times i wishing i had done or send something but didn't.

I think of the people i have lost, My Nan, My aunt and friend.

I have flash backs to the time i drove into a flood and the water flowing over the bonnet.

Another minute passes by.

I think about my aunts dog who was stolen from her garden 20 years ago. It must have been so scared. I hope it didnt get hurt.

I think about getting a drink but then decide it will wake me up more.

Another minute passes by.

I try to clear mind, count back from 100 i tell myself.

100, 99, 98, 97,

what color bin do i put out tomorrow?

96,95,94,

I must remember to check the tyres on my car.

93,92,91,

Another minute passes by.

Whats that noise, is there someone in the house?.

90,89,87

Maybe i should get up at check? Na it will be nothing.

78, 77 have i missed some numbers?

Another minute passes by.

Did i just dream that? Did i fall asleep?
When all i want to do is sleep the most ridiculous and random things come in to my head. This cant just happen to me?
Please excuse any spelling, Im dyslexic. I have not had the confidence to share any of my poems until very recently. So kind words please
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