baggy shirts and folded sleeves
holding hands and acid washed jeans
from clean to stained clothing
we watched yesterday's crooked teeth
hide behind grown smiles from each other's lips, and for once, our futures seemed promising
our skin was pure yet our insides were battered
but bandages and plaster cast arms were just shells and they never mattered
we are both our own places
it's our choice where we choose to stand
and our faces are merely masks and disposable skin and emotions
we let our hearts do the talking, the questioning and the loving
this is what we were made for
not to be thrown around and ripped of our own exterior, but to be planted on the ground with our heads facing the clouds
and our wrists stretching out along with our fingers, grabbing all the opportunities and experiences

we are not carousels of repetition
we are layers of unwritten episodes
we are human beings

n.j.

Bukowski says "find what you love and let it **** you"
and i've done just that
like Snow White and the poison apple,
what was once flashy and alluring and right in front of my nose
has been consumed and is now a masticated pulp fuming rancid
smoke into my lungs
from the deepest pit of my heart
no prince's attempt at true love's kiss can pull me from this coma
i'm in love with the darkness and my enduring hope for light
a light so bright that it will illuminate my veins, my troubled thoughts
will change from knots
into silk chains,
but until then, i'll comfortably rest in my summertime sadness

As Ozzy once put it in his Black Sabbath song 'Children of the Grave'-
"you must be brave...
or you children of today (the world)
are the children of the grave..."
  
consider me burnt
the embers of the sky
an ashtray in your heart
the curls of smoke behind your lips
the darkness in your eyes
the lightning in the clouds
the skeletons lost to time
a lonely corpse
left to rot

like the children of the light

Your mother did not keep you in her womb for 9 months, to see you lose yourself over trying to find a home in his thoughts.

Your father did not put you on his shoulder, only to see you worship the land on which he walks, when he so gently and patiently taught you how to fly  

Your brother did not look up at you expectantly from his sleepy eyes, to see the light fade from yours.

Your grandfather did not tell you about his dreams, if he ever for a moment thought, you could not have them fulfilled.

The steps you take,
The breaths you breathe,
Oh, you were beautiful
Long before he told you that is what he thinks.

The words you write,
The pain that kills,
Will only take you towards,
The person you were meant to be

Your 5 year old self
Did not just want to live to breathe,
Let her teach you
How not to let your brilliance get
Tainted by the silhouettes of grief

Who should you write poetry for?

Write for someone
Who cares enough to read it
And have the words etched upon
Their hearts,
Never fading.

Write for someone
Who knows you enough,
To know
That you are a mixture of a thousand emotions
You never show
And your poetry is a gateway
To your heart.

Write for someone,
Who would willingly walk down
An abyss with you,
Not someone, who walks into it,
Unknowingly
Overwhelmed by your words' intensity

Write for someone,
Who is many different people,
For many different people,
And still is all of them for you,
A side he only shows to you.

Write for someone,
Whose love is not a secret,
Confessed in a hushed tone,
Write for someone who loves you,
And is unapologetic about it.


Write for someone,
Who sees a part of them
Every time your eyes meet,
Write for the part
Of yourself
You see in them.

Write for someone
To whom you actually mean something
And your words will never go unnoticed,
Dissolving in wind
The moment your lips set them free.

Come on, Lady Luck
Throw the dice, spin
the wheel or draw a straw

tell me which way to go
which of these verses
would make his heart sing

for we poets are sirens
driving men to the rocks
& the clock waits so patiently

in the corner, in on the plan
& the city is a memory
sketched in teenage graffiti

& I'm Iggy's ' Passenger'
on a never-ending train
seeing my youth calling again

passing by me
behind cracked glass
beckoning the imagination

laughing, teasing:
' Are you lucky, Miss'
the answer comes : silence

like before the beginning of the world

God made me loving
So I would love everyone

God made me broken
So I could make sure I never break someone else

God made me hurt
So I could heal others

God made me anxious
So I could learn to trust

God made me motherly
For those who don't have one

God made me uncoordinated
So I would know that balance
Is not always physical

God made me compassionate
So I would know his love for us

God made me faithful
So I would know what it's like to be betrayed

God made me insecure
So I could tell others that no one is perfect

God made me human
Flawed
Broken
Anxious
And uncoordinated that I am

So He could prove to me
That He is stronger than my ups
And
Downs.

Dear father in Heaven,
Father I come before you as I am
I come before you as a SINNER
Asking for FORGIVENESS
In the name of JESUS,
As I reach to you father
I ask that you reach out to me
In the name of JESUS,
Father you know all about me
You know all about my troubles
You said you wouldn't put
More on me than I can bare
I know YOUR WORD
Doesn't come back void,
So father I WILL
Lay down my BURDENS
And bring my problems to you
In the name of JESUS,
Father I THANK YOU
For sending your only begotten SON
To die on the CROSS for my MY SINS
And for that I am grateful
And I THANK YOU
In the name of JESUS,
You made me in YOUR IMAGE
And I know the way I have
Been going about isn't
Pleasing IN YOUR SIGHT
But yet you still give me chances
And I THANK YOU
In the name of JESUS,
You are with me even when
I'm not with myself
And I THANK YOU
In the name of JESUS,
You do have my heart
I do want eternal life in Heaven
I do want to walk with you
I do accept you as MY SAVIOR
I am Thankful for your HOLY SPIRIT
I do THANK YOU for my kids
I do THANK YOU for my family
I do THANK YOU for life itself
I do THANK YOU for my love ones
I do THANK YOU for the lovely woman you sent me
Most importantly...
I THANK YOU for YOU
In the name of JESUS,
Father I ask you to
Heal my mind
Heal my heart
Heal my body
Heal my kids and their mothers
Heal my SPIRIT
Heal my SOUL
Heal my SPIRITUAL MIND
Heal my troubled ways
Heal my finances
Heal ALL my love ones
In the name of JESUS,
Father I bless your name
In the name of JESUS,
Father I ask you to
Watch over my kids
Their mother's
And their household's
And keep them safe and protected
And COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD
In the name of JESUS,
Father I ask you to
Watch over my love ones
And their household's
And keep them safe and protected
And COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD
In the name of JESUS,
Father I ask you to
Watch over me and my household
And keep us safe and protected
And COVERED IN YOUR BLOOD
In the name of JESUS,
Father I ask you to
Watch over others
As this world continues to unfold
In the name of JESUS,
Father as I end this prayer
I not only want to THANK YOU
For my good days
I want to also THANK YOU
For the worst days I have had
In the name of JESUS,
Father as I close my eyes
I ask that you watch over me
And that NO WEAPON
Formed against me SHALL PROSPER
In the name of JESUS,
In JESUS name I pray
In the name of
THE FATHER
THE SON
AND of THE HOLY SPIRIT
Amen.