when your Heartbroken and stressed
your heart, mind body and soul  notices and you begin to see visions of positivity less and less,
you gotta understand where im coming from, you know that annoying knot in your chest
drives you so crazy that your daily thoughts become a mess,
Im still suffering from this disease of emptiness i cant get rid of more like a curse of never being enough. im so angry cause i know it was supposed to be us, but god said that it was yalls time i guess!
Its been months and he is visibly happy so must God torture my heart i tried everything still my heart beats faintly since that day.
i hope in good spirit your heart stays
even though with mine you choose to play
when things are over for yall please dont come my way
cause it will be too late u already left my heart damaged and bruised so there will not be much to say

#I wish Someone loved me in this way i'd never let them Go#

How can I not feel extremely empty I lost you before I could even truly get to know you,
Today as I reap the benefits of life I will hold the love I feel for you tenderly inside.
You damaged my exterior so I have trouble now pushing my pride to the side.
Im broken from continuous mistakes and constant heartbreak.
Memories of him I cant shake. Even though I know he left clues that he was a in the closet *** snake.
I fell in love with him… im still waiting for him to come around explaining and telling me that he is sorry now, heres your birthday cake I promised I make. Never kissing him was one of my biggest mistakes cause through his kiss I would have been able to spot that he was a low down ***** snake!

‪Sometimes loving someone can make the heart wither.   Vivid memories of HIM wakes u every night with cold sweats endless shiver.... When does the pain stop! only but for a few months this year it stopped the way I felt tropical sunset and sunrise... he made me want to share everything I was holding back inside then over nothing he chose to see me of less value and hide. l  slightly entertained others but him my heart chose so when he too chose to leave
it left me stuck thinking of you, so their was no room left to think of me. You had the easy way out....death and HIM I just still dont knowing ...
He played it wasnt necessary for him to see our bond grow.....
For me to fall again I just cant say ill allow myself so...‬
honestly I would **** to have someone love me like I love u

I got a question I been wanting to ask you
it’s just bothering me
but I need to know
when we make love is it me that you see
or is it...... the me The perfect wife that you choose for me to be
cause when I make love to you... I see the man that you have the potential to be ...
The man that I need
the man my body craves that holds and clings to
and loves like no one else
But when you look at me... when you stare into my eyes and I’m looking back into yours
I see a blank space sometimes, and I have to wonder... I wonder truly all the time
is it me that you see....
or is it the perfect wife that you planned out in ya mind had sought  out  for me to be
I only ask this cause when we walk in public
you hold my hand.... but it’s not like the first time
The first time I knew you were My Man
This time you hold my hand but not with grace and dignity
like this is the life that you
had planned and sought out and hoped and everything you wanted it to be
I prayed for this to work.. I prayed for us to try
but I can no longer pretend that when im trying to make endless love to your mind...
that your that guy
I loved you and I still do
still when I look in ya eyes I see that but when you look into mine i don’t see that
you don’t love me anymore
let’s not continue to live this lie
kiss and make luv.. and say our final goodbyes

crying and mourning the days of the past ....
while... happily, cherishing loving, hoping praying, and wishing for the days of the future...
My heart lays in sadness...
cause it mourns the time and space that I missed with you,
I wished hoped and prayed for more.... I looked to the “ Scars” aka “stars” so many different nights
hoping and praying
hoping and pray
and wishing
and that I’ll be the one holding you tight every single night
I now know that even the most beautifulest black buttafly too sometimes cry and when they cry it bleeds tears
tears of pain truth hurt desires lust lost of fears strength
it was all real
it was all real, I seen fate and destiny
when I looked in ya eyes
it was a feeling I never wanted to let go of
u mad this Beautiful Black Buttafly cry
so now when you look me in my face
in my Eyes
you’ll see hurt and pain... to this truth
that will always and forever remain

I never want him to read the words of my hearts true definition
and constantly think of me
I’m to embarrassed so this poetry I hope He never reads.....
in time the Lord will bless his eyes to see
just how much love for him I held inside of me
he’ll start to see the signs... I'm sure they’ll come in forms of three
then it will be his turn to feel that love lost way down in his knee
when the heart stops and the buckle of his knee occurs he will see
nothing but pictures painted ever so beautifully of me
embedded in your Now past New present and soon to be future
this part of your history will always and forever be a mystery