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Blakbuttafly89 Sep 2018
‪Sometimes loving someone can make the heart wither.   Vivid memories of HIM wakes u every night with cold sweats endless shiver.... When does the pain stop! only but for a few months this year it stopped the way I felt tropical sunset and sunrise... he made me want to share everything I was holding back inside then over nothing he chose to see me of less value and hide. l  slightly entertained others but him my heart chose so when he too chose to leave
it left me stuck thinking of you, so their was no room left to think of me. You had the easy way out....death and HIM I just still dont knowing ...
He played it wasnt necessary for him to see our bond grow.....
For me to fall again I just cant say ill allow myself so...‬
honestly I would **** to have someone love me like I love u
Blakbuttafly89 Sep 2018
See the problem here is that the love I have for It holds no mounds with infinite possibilities
and I know that things get ruff and I call u on ya bluff
but when things simply don’t go your way
u start that calling me young girl  this and that actin as if with me u no longer want to stay
but the love we have is real so your gonna sit down and listen to what I have to say
see your mood switches up from day to day
so each time when I hold your hand I see a different you and I kinda like it this way
but now that ur looking at me I know now that it’s to much for u.... the promise you made
cause as I sit here pouring out my heart u have but so little to say
so my heart will no longer beg yours to stay
so maybe somethings are better off that way
this is just one of the poems I carry in my heart from day to day
Blakbuttafly89 Sep 2018
I got a question I been wanting to ask you
it’s just bothering me
but I need to know
when we make love is it me that you see
or is it...... the me The perfect wife that you choose for me to be
cause when I make love to you... I see the man that you have the potential to be ...
The man that I need
the man my body craves that holds and clings to
and loves like no one else
But when you look at me... when you stare into my eyes and I’m looking back into yours
I see a blank space sometimes, and I have to wonder... I wonder truly all the time
is it me that you see....
or is it the perfect wife that you planned out in ya mind had sought  out  for me to be
I only ask this cause when we walk in public
you hold my hand.... but it’s not like the first time
The first time I knew you were My Man
This time you hold my hand but not with grace and dignity
like this is the life that you
had planned and sought out and hoped and everything you wanted it to be
I prayed for this to work.. I prayed for us to try
but I can no longer pretend that when im trying to make endless love to your mind...
that your that guy
I loved you and I still do
still when I look in ya eyes I see that but when you look into mine i don’t see that
you don’t love me anymore
let’s not continue to live this lie
kiss and make luv.. and say our final goodbyes
Blakbuttafly89 Sep 2018
crying and mourning the days of the past ....
while... happily, cherishing loving, hoping praying, and wishing for the days of the future...
My heart lays in sadness...
cause it mourns the time and space that I missed with you,
I wished hoped and prayed for more.... I looked to the “ Scars” aka “stars” so many different nights
hoping and praying
hoping and pray
and wishing
and that I’ll be the one holding you tight every single night
I now know that even the most beautifulest black buttafly too sometimes cry and when they cry it bleeds tears
tears of pain truth hurt desires lust lost of fears strength
it was all real
it was all real, I seen fate and destiny
when I looked in ya eyes
it was a feeling I never wanted to let go of
u mad this Beautiful Black Buttafly cry
so now when you look me in my face
in my Eyes
you’ll see hurt and pain... to this truth
that will always and forever remain
Blakbuttafly89 Sep 2018
I never want him to read the words of my hearts true definition
and constantly think of me
I’m to embarrassed so this poetry I hope He never reads.....
in time the Lord will bless his eyes to see
just how much love for him I held inside of me
he’ll start to see the signs... I'm sure they’ll come in forms of three
then it will be his turn to feel that love lost way down in his knee
when the heart stops and the buckle of his knee occurs he will see
nothing but pictures painted ever so beautifully of me
embedded in your Now past New present and soon to be future
this part of your history will always and forever be a mystery
Blakbuttafly89 Aug 2018
The way my heart wasBroken... I don’t wish that on my worst enemy
The way I wore his tears...... I don’t wish that on anyone
The way I walked around with my headdown feeling like a clown
for a few months
Scared to entertain another man’sConversation out of fear
that visions of a forever for me will never be clear
the pain hurts so bad felt like my heart was stabbed with a spear
people thoughts around me are so loud that my own I can no longer hear
my own personal thoughts causing to much confusion this is clear
still I keep telling myself that I’m worth it
just trying to pick myself up and figure out how to move on from here.
Blakbuttafly89 Aug 2018
TIME....
He who waits for no one
stubborn lil *****....
I just needed a little more TIME to rewrite my wrongs  and repaint those words in my history soft like a beautiful  symphony....
Just this year alone I met the only man able
to make my heart melt with little to no effort
to only kiss the breath of my Love.... Time wouldn’t allow me to kiss I'm sure the softest set of lips.
It’s just the things we never did that I  guess
I miss.
Time ....
He who waits for no one
stubborn lil *****
wouldn’t allow me to go back in time
to correct my wrongs
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