3 things I wanted to hear
3 things and Ill never feel despair
"I am proud of you"
"You were never a disappointment"
"You made us happy"
That's all I wanted to hear
For me to be able to bear
And live without fear
I lost a bet
And gave up the hope
You were never proud
You were a disappointment
and never made us happy
Was all I heard..
Family was always the choice of topic for me.. It brought out a lot of things I need to remove from my memory and one of the things that constantly reminds me of them is this.. They were never appreciative of the efforts thats why I decided to cut them out.
Black Sheep,Black Sheep
Black Sheep, Black Sheep
Always living A lie
Many wanting you to die
Yet always crawling to survive
Despite never wanted to be alive
Wishing to take part
But being torn Apart
Black Sheep among the white
Always getting the Bite
When always given the talk
Why continue on
When only wanted to be gone
Black Sheep, Black Sheep
Black Sheep, Black Sheep
I have always felt left out by my family, always the odd one out, the outcast or the person always yelled at. I try to fight but I always end up short. And that's when they told me they never wished me to be here anyway. And I knew I was the black sheep among the white. Always different. Always left alone.
I was given a question in the past...
"Is the person in your life right now Your true love?"
No he wasn't my true love... nor was he a person I'd fallen head over heels for...
He was never the person I thought I choose nor was he the person I saw a future with...
But he is the person where effort and love found its place.
He is the person where my future no longer felt so uncertain...
He is the person where i found hope in life, love and willingness to stay...
He may have never been my true love...
But he will be the love, all fairy tales would get their happy endings with..
I got dumped by a person back in early 2019 and it wrecked my heart so much that i vowed love may never be for me... Fast forward to the half of 2019 when I met another person.. This person showed me that no matter what happens he would be there for me and vowed to never hurt me.. It took some time to open up but in time I fell for him and finally let him into my life... And I continue to cherish till the end of time...
You were the person who loved me as I am
Took care of me
When I was broken
Too many times to count
As time fasts forward
Slowly you pull away
Confidence settles in where caution once was
And where comfort was sadness returns..
We love someone not because of the perfections they have... But for what imperfections we wish we could change.. As we fix each one. We tend to forget that the person can still need so much comfort from you... But you slowly forget and pull away.
May you never experience the loss a mother's love
May you never feel isolated and left alone in this world
For you are loved and cared for.
May you never feel as though the world is pinning you to the ground
Wishing you would die.
May you never feel the darkness consume the last bit of light in you
May you never need to hurt yourself to feel less of tearful ache
May you find the happiness you deserve
And may you find the love that will finally put you at ease..
To the lost and to the people struggling
I believe we are entitled to certain things
To be loved the way we choose to love
And to be treasured the way we treasure people
But despite such, Cruelty in the world prevails
Hate overwhelms love
Selfishness triumphs above all else
Maybe it was given to us that way
But Its up to us to change that..
This was written when me and my mom argued about entitlement how I didn't deserve many things and still acquired them.
I have lived a life
Where I found love
That I deserved
A Love that I thought Would last
Till the Ends of time
And A Love
That I didn't think I needed
Now I seek to find love
That would Fight its way
Lived to see the day
Laughed most of the way
Loved at the end of the night
Flying loosely like a kite
But at the end of those days
I have lost most of my ways
I have loved to the fullest
But killed myself with such bullets
Smiles all the way
Sorrow at the end of the day
You deserve the stars my love.
When the world can only gives you street lights
You deserve all the glory
When the world only gives you praises
You deserve happiness
When the world gives hell on earth to you
You deserve love
When the world only knows hatred
You deserve everything that is Good.
To the people, who have given up on life..
You were everything I imagined
To the point I lost reasons to be saddened
You were the person in my dreams
That broke down all the seams
When I was broken and lost
You brought me out and loved me the most
When I was down
You dealt with the frown
I love you in any given day
And for that I will say
You made me Happier that I could ever imagine
And forever I wish for our fates intertwining
What keeps you up at night little one?
Is it the silence of the night?
Or is it the rush of voices?
Trying to fight there way out?
What makes you uneasy young one?
Is it the questions left unanswered?
Or the Sadness left by the day?
Maybe its something or maybe nothing.
So what keeps you awake young one?
I write for my past.
To make up for my present
I write for love
To show their beauty.
I write about my sins
To make up my mistakes
Like the clouds in the night sky
To the days that pass by
Not a single night has passed
Since I missed you last
Like the beauty of the stars
To the most painful of scars
I dreamt of having you
When everything else made me Blue
I wished for only the best
As you left me like the rest
I will always want one thing every time
And that is to be with you all the time
But sadly you left for good
And that has left a mood
Neither fixable nor mendable
So I build my walls impenetrable
To no longer feel vulnerable
Its when it was his own decision to distance himself because of my own actions
When I drowned in my own sorrow
You guys learned to carry me
Out of that Bitter Hole
And chose to take care of me
When all I ever wanted was to end my days
You guy gave me nights to look forward to
You filled it with happiness
As if the days never existed
I believed I was a lost cost
No chance of finding myself again
But you guys never gave up
And chose to put all problems aside and saw me through
You never ceased the futility
Instead gave endless support
and Endless patience
You were there when
All had given up and left..
I wrote this for the people who loved me and supported me as I battled countless inner demons that lie awake in front my goals. To my friends and to the people who stayed..
You were the moonlight
In the night sky
You were the mornings
I would always wake up to...
You're the person I never want to see
You're the person Id never want to be
But sadly, You are the person I always wanted
This was dedicated to a boy i liked in uni... He was this person filled with such kindness that he somehow got me out of a dark place. But then he never really liked me as I liked him
— The End —