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Jun 11 · 56
Thoughts Of You
Lyda M Jun 11
Thoughts of you makes me happy
Thoughts of you make me smile

They make me feel all sweet and bubbly
They make me feel alright

On days when I feel lonely
On days when I feel sad

I just close my eyes and think of you
And I don't feel so bad
A little pick me up. Not lovers, but a dear friend
Dec 2018 · 117
Rondo
Lyda M Dec 2018
Let us dance,

Let us sing,

Let us be merry and jovial



See! The lark flies!

Red and gold

Aflutter in the breeze!



The strings resonate

The drums beat in time

As horns and flute

Play



There is much to

Celebrate this

Auspicious day



Auspicious day?

No such thing!



Each day is much

Like the other

And tomorrow



So sadness, evil,

Anxiety,

Away with thee!



We will sing

Of what was,

What is,

What will be



The past shall not

return



The present ever

a walking pace



The future

Unforeseen



So will be our days

Left to fate



Such are the

Years short



So what use are

These of gloom and doom?



Stay with me,

Let us be with

Music til the end



But may our music

Never end.
Beethoven Violin Concerto, Op.61 - third movement
Dec 2018 · 103
Larghetto
Lyda M Dec 2018
Pristine white,

Like cathedral spires,

Pierce the skies



There is longing,

For the sky blue

Expanse above



Can you not see?

The love, the yearning



There is so much more

Than what this world

Can offer to one such as you



‘Tis pleasant,

A wonder of quiet

and harmony



Who do you offer

Music to?



Oh, love,

How lovely it

Is to meet you



Overflowing,

One cannot comprehend

Such beauty



And these days

Are golden and light

With the fluttering

Of your love



In the form

Of soaring melodies



Alas!
Beethoven Violin Concerto, Op.61 - second movement
Dec 2018 · 96
Allegro non troppo
Lyda M Dec 2018
Music – she is my muse

She sings to me

Her lilting voice reaching for the heavens



And yet



It falls short as she aches for

Love – tis heart breaking and bittersweet



It is a tug of war

For the melody

Who it sings for



A back and forth,

Undecided, disconcerted

Forlorn and desolate



Madness, determination

But she is beckoned

back, restrain





Don’t hold back

[I] can’t hold back

[I’m] trying



And yet

[I’ll] fall short



“Why? Oh, why?”

Can one not sing?

Shall the muse be only thought,

Ever taught?



No.



She sings and sings.

To fill in the desire

Of a passion unrestrained

(with restraints)



She is ineffable,

And only in silence

Can she be heard.
Beethoven Violin Concerto in D Major, Op.61 - first movement
Nov 2018 · 117
Perfection is a myth
Lyda M Nov 2018
perfection is something
I cannot attain

and so here I sit
procrastinating

watching time tick away
the hours I could use

but they've all
wasted away
I know there's stuff I need to do. But I just can't get myself to do it. It's not laziness. I've already differentiated the two. I just don't want to do it because it's still not going to be enough.
Aug 2018 · 407
Burnout
Lyda M Aug 2018
Music is a drug
I have overdosed in
Until I grew sick
Of melodies
Jul 2018 · 191
Music Haiku iii
Lyda M Jul 2018
Music is all but
Perfect; tis a faux concept
In an abstract world
Jul 2018 · 194
Music Haiku ii
Lyda M Jul 2018
Three stand before thee
The silver trophies gleam bright
Ambitions are bared
Jul 2018 · 150
Music Haiku i
Lyda M Jul 2018
The golden hall sings
Of an art that decorates
The spaces of time
Jul 2018 · 221
Sunrise
Lyda M Jul 2018
Stories sing of ways
That shed light on
Situations

Tall tales spake
Of things
With green envy

Thy name wilt one speak
Before the moon sets
Upon one's kingdom

And bite one's thumb
Shall one joust in word or sound
Even the ocean could not contain enough salt to pass around
Jul 2018 · 1.0k
A Musical Gift
Lyda M Jul 2018
And doubts have dashed
And murmurs gone
And frowns have turned downside up

To smiles
And heart
And laughter
And newfound friends
And applause
And gratitude

As miles of
Blood
Sweat
Time
Heart
Mind
Hard work

Have rewarded the sweetest
Not of gold but of

a musical gift
Written after we won a music competition. Some people were salty about losing. I'm just glad all my hard work didn't go to waste.
Jun 2018 · 347
Prickly Words
Lyda M Jun 2018
Cactus words are
Prickly words
That grow in deserts
Of dry wit
Jun 2018 · 166
Open Book
Lyda M Jun 2018
“You do realize you don’t have to keep doing this, you know.”

She knows. Of course, she knows. But there is too much. She cannot stop. She cannot stop until everything is out.

Even if it hurts. Even if it’s trash. Even if no one reads or listens. Even if it makes no sense. Even if it’s all lies. Even if it’s all true. Even if the truth is a lie. Even if the lie is a truth. Even if it is a paradox in and of itself.
Even so.

She writes until she bleeds. The pen is connected to her veins. The ink, her blood. The words, her thoughts.
Dark

Flowing

Bleeding

Spilling

“You could share the pen, you know.”

She knows. But whoever holds the pen, changes the words. And when words change, worlds change.

Words have power one wishes not to abuse. Not to use. Not to reveal. Not to keep. Words keep secrets the whole world knows.

But like an open book, one would see the words upon the page, but no one would care enough to read the whole book.
everyone is an open book, but not everyone likes to read.
May 2018 · 134
broken puzzle pieces
Lyda M May 2018
and the puzzles don't fit like pieces
like the ones you'd wish on a chess board

And life is just a gamble we never wanted to play
so music is the last resort to staying

In a kaleidoscope of broken pieces
I hope we'll make masterpieces

of all these broken parts
life is still a game of snakes and ladders I can't understand. and the thing with games is that I always lose
May 2018 · 186
of course not
Lyda M May 2018
of course he doesn't
miss me

of course he doesn't
think about me

of course he doesn't
care

How many times do I have to be at war with myself on this?

we both write poetry

But I will never be his muse
May 2018 · 364
a musical affliction
Lyda M May 2018
and your music was the sweetest
to my ears and to my heart

but your soul was the darkest
when people drift apart

minds spiralling down to madness
like an eternal roundabout

and maybe in the end
that's who we really are

people with minds unbound
spoken in the language of
music over black and white notes
as someone who love(d) you, I might not have gone. But as someone who plays music as well, I did. and what a job well done. what beautiful music. you were wonderful. and I'm sorry I will have to write this here instead of saying it to you up front.
May 2018 · 991
Peas in a Pod
Lyda M May 2018
And I write poetry
With you as my muse

And you write poetry
But I was never yours
I thought I was over you, but apparently not
Apr 2018 · 292
The colour of the meadow
Lyda M Apr 2018
Lay down a flower
For each memory of us

May the stems bend and not break
In the howling of the storm

Let the rain soothe the earth
And spring forth laughter

Of the colours of the meadow
Where feelings are as light as feathers
It's been awhile since I've had this light creativity instead of the dark poetry, so I'll record this for now
Apr 2018 · 85
Rainy Days
Lyda M Apr 2018
What a pity it seems,
To wish life as but a dream

As sky and earth part ways,
With once meetings on rainy days

One would wish so,
For time to tread slow

On those glaring heat-haze daze,
Only gone on rainy days
Apr 2018 · 1.3k
Please don't read this
Lyda M Apr 2018
And I thought I had gotten better. Until a voice spoke up inside my head.

"Wow you ****"

"You were nasty. Why would they stick with you."

"You think you deserve this?"

"Your parents are tired of you. They can't afford you."

"Why are you still alive. The career you chose just burdens everyone."

"You don't even play that well."

"You think anyone would ever keep you? Get off your high horse."

"no one likes you."

"You don't belong here. You should just keep on being a person who *****."
Please make it stop. Go away. I don't know you. Where did you come from. I just want to cry. I thought I was better. And you came like a torrent of nasty words that runs through my bloodstream.
Apr 2018 · 221
Stained Sink
Lyda M Apr 2018
I scrub and I scrub
The stains won't go
They stain the sink

The water washes it away
It spirals down the drain
The stain still stays

My hands are raw
But I see no point in bleeding
It still stains the sink
Apr 2018 · 138
Who am I
Lyda M Apr 2018
I write stories when I'm happy
And poetry when I'm sad

But now I don't write at all
I have several writing styles along with a personality with them. Lyda is another of mine. I'm sorry I'm weird
Apr 2018 · 307
Language, dear
Lyda M Apr 2018
And I swallow metaphoric medication
Until they burn down my throat

And similes are like cereal for breakfast
With which I refuse to partake

My words bleed out
Personifying my grief

Hyperbole is too big a mass I can explain
It would take years to finish

Would roses choked in thorns be a symbol of oppression
Or a nature of destruction in beauty

Take me to the emergency room
I'm sick of this language I speak
Apr 2018 · 167
White Lies
Lyda M Apr 2018
Once upon a blue moon,
Fairy tales come true.

Once upon a time,
Happily ever after was real.

So let me be April's fool 'til the dawn of midnight,
Believing each lie painted white.
April fools!
Mar 2018 · 195
Losing a Phone
Lyda M Mar 2018
Losing a phone doesn't also mean losing access to the internet

It meant losing feelings
That I had written down

It meant losing words
I had transcribed

It meant losing contacts
And the evidence of late night talks

It meant losing memories
Of piano room privacy

It meant starting over again
When I still had things left
Unsaid
All those saved photos..those Instagram stories..gone.
Mar 2018 · 142
Losing Feeling
Lyda M Mar 2018
It's
been
a
while

I've been
crying about
you for
so long

That the pain
had already settled
in my bones

To think that I'd
meet the day that
I was losing feelings
for you

It's as scary as thinking
that you hadn't lied to
me that day when I
selfishly cried and said goodbye
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

Five paragraphs, each word corresponding to each
Mar 2018 · 175
And then..
Lyda M Mar 2018
And so I grew cold
And ran away
And ignored
You

And I closed my eyes
And shut my heart
And rejected
Me
Mar 2018 · 135
I Just Know
Lyda M Mar 2018
There was no need
To stalk her Facebook feed

There was no need
To check his Instagram

There was no need
To search for a relationship status

I just know
I always know
And I'm always right

That you would never be mine
Mar 2018 · 238
Rejecting my thoughts
Lyda M Mar 2018
And here I thought
You'd have words for me

But time and time again
I'd had to reject my thoughts

Like you would ever come back
When I was nothing to you
In the first place
Of course I can't have him back. She's back so of course he'll go back to her. After all this time. It was nothing. What we had was nothing.
Mar 2018 · 87
World Poetry Day
Lyda M Mar 2018
Happy World Poetry Day!
Although I don't have much to say.

My words have run dry,
No matter how hard I try,
I can't find them.

But I'd like to give this simple greeting,
to those who can still express their feelings.

Let poetry and prose speak your mind,
and then maybe what you're seeking for
is what you'll find.
Mar 2018 · 267
Promises Meant
Lyda M Mar 2018
And of course, promises can't be kept.
They never do.

And I never learn.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
Mar 2018 · 156
A Concept So Foreign
Lyda M Mar 2018
Love was beautiful
until hateful words came

There was nothing she could do
the child covered her ears and closed her eyes

and watched her world
crumble around her

Love faded between them
sides were taken
and she was torn in the middle like a seam

The concept of divorce was foreign
Like a situation found only in movies

And once it happened
the happily ever afters
never came true

If only childhood innocence lessened the pain
but she understood and that hurt worse

And what was worse
was that a family of four
was a family no more
it's been five years or so, but it still hurts. I still miss the us. Now I can never have that back
Mar 2018 · 191
TeaTime CoffeeBreak
Lyda M Mar 2018
Sit down with me and let's talk for awhile.

About things that matter, things that don't.

A sip of coffee, steam rising in the air.

It fogs your glasses, so you take them off.

I do love looking at you with no glass in between.

Maybe someday, I can look a little closer,
but with your eyes shut,
lips meeting mine,
and bliss in a moment so dear.
Mar 2018 · 115
Waybackwhens
Lyda M Mar 2018
My mind plays reruns on memories I wish existed

If only I could pause the moments I had with you

My dreams rewind each happy second I used to smile from the bottom of my heart

But now they've stopped and turned into a neverending loop of waybackwhens
Mar 2018 · 138
And So It Was
Lyda M Mar 2018
But of course

every poem
every note
every line

was never for me
And no matter how I wish it so, it never will be
Mar 2018 · 265
A Strange Aftermath
Lyda M Mar 2018
1.
I saw you again today
your hair's grown out

I wonder how you're doing
although I'm the one who never asks

I don't know how we connect
But I always know where you are

And with that
I run away

2.
You sat beside today
And I tried to hide my smile

Although I know there was pain
You tried to hide in your eyes

We finally talked today
after months of silence

And despite the distance between us
It was as though it was never there

3.
I left early again
And you hid behind round glasses

We pretended not to see each other
despite the fact...

That all I wanted to do
was look at you and smile
and of course, I still miss him. Each time we meet. Each time we leave. Each time we pretend not to see.
Mar 2018 · 201
Requiem
Lyda M Mar 2018
Would you write a Requiem?
Some bells in there would be nice

Would you plant dandelions?
I've always fancied them as flowers rather than weeds

Would it be six feet under or as dust in the wind?
Well, I don't really mind as much

Would this be poetry or prose?

Sorry I'm just me
weird thoughts again
Mar 2018 · 3.2k
Remember Me to Forget
Lyda M Mar 2018
They asked me this question in class one day

"What do you want to be remembered by?"

I wrote down the answer of what they wanted to hear

But to be honest

I just want to be forgotten
So no one has to hurt when I say
goodbye
Mar 2018 · 154
Reasonable Irrationality
Lyda M Mar 2018
Artists are we

Of words
Of space
Of sound

Late Style is

A metaphor
A contradiction
An aesthetic

Minds would be

Abstract
Analytic
Apathetic

Heart beats with

Rhythm
Rhyme
Romance

Of
reasonable
irrationality
Mar 2018 · 189
Science Experiment
Lyda M Mar 2018
And you look at the world
With eyes filled with wonder and fascination

As though you are a scientist
And the world behind the glass is a laboratory

Experimenting with life
With none but one's own

As safety firsts and lab rules,
Are plastered all over the walls

They are but ignored
As curiosity would ****
For satisfaction

To find answers
To questions

Unasked
Mar 2018 · 147
Rebound
Lyda M Mar 2018
You were a lonely soul
Dark and deep and mysterious

But you were also kind
Brave and strong and loving

But your love was lost
To the one who was oceans away

And so you turned to me
Who was too naïve to know

That romance was not love
And love was not always true

And rebound wasn't just a play
In a game of basketball

And so I broke apart
A fragile soul too broken

To piece together something
worth loving
How many poems do I have to write about you until I run out of words
Mar 2018 · 189
Once Upon A Dream
Lyda M Mar 2018
And I was a fool to think
You had loved me too

"I only see you as a friend"

There was nothing there
You were never there

And what I thought was true
That something between me and you

Was just as it was
A once upon a dream
A maybe relationship ***** and when he denies it at the end, you're left wondering if everything really happened in the first place
Mar 2018 · 297
King and Lionheart
Lyda M Mar 2018
I would write sonnets

Of our escapades
On boat rides
Walks through the park
Crossing bridges

I would write stories

Of our late night talks
Your piano blues
Inside jokes
Quiet conversation

I would write poems

Of the space between us
Entwined hands
Closeness of heartbeats
Fingers running on skin

But I am just the writer
And you are my muse
With our tale ending on paper
And here I am writing about him again
Mar 2018 · 169
Butterfly kisses
Lyda M Mar 2018
And I walk on this earth
With footsteps light
Like butterfly legs

And I love you
With passion that soars
Like butterfly wings

And I bid you farewell
With my lips on your cheek
Like butterfly kisses
Mar 2018 · 146
Near two a.m.
Lyda M Mar 2018
It's near 2am

I'm thinking of you again
It's not how, it's when
To get over you

It's near 2am

Memories are flooding
Like a tsunami of unwanted
Feelings

It's near 2am

I close my eyes but I see you
Your eyes, your smile, your voice
Are clear but not true

It's near 2am

Time slows down after midnight
And mind replays the past
Of love that's not quite
Hello insomnia. You bring company I'd rather not have over
Mar 2018 · 384
And I paint roses
Lyda M Mar 2018
And I paint on skin
So I don't have to cut

And I paint roses with leaves
So blood can look beautiful

And I paint thorns black
So they bite but don't hurt

And I paint on skin
So there's no pain inside
I'm scared of pain but I want to let it out. And when music and words don't work, I paint myself.
Mar 2018 · 92
Words mean
Lyda M Mar 2018
I don't like lulls in time

Because lulls mean
Boredom

Because boredom means
Words

Because words mean

Words are mean

They cut and rip and tear and have jagged lines between the lines like

Jack the Ripper

Mysteries unsolved

I'd rather with mysteries unsolved

Because mysteries mean
Thinking

Because thinking means

No words
I fancy myself having a way with words, but sometimes words are a double-edged sword
Mar 2018 · 159
We say
Lyda M Mar 2018
We say we're fine
But broken hearts don't hide from eyes

We say we're friends
But conversation stopped at our relationship end

We say we're back to normal
But we look the other way

We say we're moving on
But we avoid each other like plague

We say we'll stay together
But you left with no words
So I pulled you back
To say a proper goodbye

We don't say anything
Because there's nothing left to say
A maybe relationship ***** and I still don't know how to move on from that
Mar 2018 · 165
DEPARTURE:
Lyda M Mar 2018
Hop on a plane
Leave the past
For the skies above

Would I keep sane
Would unfortunes last
In war and peace and love

Watch out for rain
In accurate forecast
The world comes in halves

It waxes and wanes
The moon in skies vast
The light I cannot have
Airport blues
Mar 2018 · 171
Paper Wishes
Lyda M Mar 2018
Keep each thought in every fold,
Line them up with every crease.

Flip them over,
Never let them show.

Don't cut your fingers on the edge,
Paper cuts are small but they hurt the most.

A thousand times over,
A million times bent and lined up.

Pull it apart,
Look at it from afar.

If you had a thousand,
Will your wishes be granted?

If you made a thousand,
Will everything be okay?

Paper wishes on paper cranes,
Let them loose in the breeze.

A million paper cuts.
A thousand paper cranes.
A single wish.
And sometimes, when wishing stars don't work, you can wish on paper cranes
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