Your eyes sang the song of loss
And I recognized the chorus

i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
a mix that has kept me alive for far too long.
i’ve barely slept,
i want you to kiss me until our lips are bruised and touch me hard enough that traces of your fingertips can still be seen on my skin.
i’ve barely slept,
i miss the feeling of someone’s mouth on my neck,
the feeling of gentle kisses starting at my collarbone and falling lower and lower and lower.
i’ve barely slept,
i’m running on adderal and self loathing,
when what i really need is to find my relief in you.

a patina conception
just budding in stride
initial unfurling
of petals inside

whether a storm,
still yet to decide
a striking horizon
softly stirs the tide

We were married in the spring
You were diagnosed in the summer.

I clutched the letter
Predicting your fate.

Not knowing how
I was going to tell you.

Not wanting to break
Our rhythm. Our future. Our fortune.

But I had no choice,
It was not my secret to keep.

So I found the words, some words.
And watched your face crumple in confusion.

Saw our new life flash
Before our very eyes.

While our former one
Receded into darkness.

Disappearing ink
on the pages of our lives.

Do I see the tree

or do I just remember --


the image of it?

He's gone, I linger

about in our shared past where --


he is still with me.

I used to think chastity
was a five year old who
knew nothing about ***.
The kind of innocence
I longed for as an adult too much.
Now a ****** who knows everything.
I still hate that to this day.
Yet what’s wrong  with
a tiger striped dove?
Fight in the flight or visa versa.
A lot of people in our culture
view purity as something *****.
Yet a lot of people in our culture
view the ****** as way too cool.
Where is the balance?
There has got to be one.
Chastity to me is staying
true to the one you love.
There is so much more!