it's like
oh yeah
I've got this figured out
and you too
but then I don't know who you are
at all
and that freaks me out so much
I keep pretending that I know

I
wish
I
could
be
there

I'll make it through

I am taking baby steps
baby steps
baby steps
baby step
and that was for you
and that was all for you too

I wrote your name on the wall
it was for you

I'm falling in love with the intensity of the song
it keeps me gripping every beat and
every sound and
every sonar bite

and I don't give a **** about the day
because you're all that's in my ******* mind
and I haven't weathered this yet

A Courier boy is filling my head
with thoughts and words untyped and unsaid
And I'm just a girl who's Helvetica Neue
and all I want is to be with you

I said what I felt once
veering off the road, I spewed it all
out in a single breath to a dead end
"You've got nothing to lose"
but it wasn't me who lost
even though I felt guilty
and I could care less about the numbers and the letters telling me
how much sleep I'm losing
and I could care less about the way
you were great.

I've gone and now I'm on my way
and I can feel the wheel slipping
away again
it's on repeat.

my grandma is lashing out at me
because she's scared
I think it's because she doesn't know
how to exist alone
and she's afraid of being alone
and being forgotten

I'm glad I make my own kind of
happiness by myself
I think more people
should know how to do this

resilience
it's a word with a newfound
relevance in my life today because it
means all that I am and
all I want to become
and I thought about how it sounded
when my mom said it
and how my grandma said it
and I'm writing in the dark to try and
escape every **** thing in the room

I'm in a luxurious room that doesn't
fit in with the rest of the house
I think there's a place in my head
that doesn't fit in with everything
else