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Hales Nov 2020
Cigarettes at midnight
Tattered hoodies under the moonlight
These are just two more things
That remind me of loving you-
ii
A
Hales Mar 2020
***
With eyes of blue and sea foam too,

There’s not a moment in time that
               I
                  Don’t
                             Love
                                      You
Is for Andy
Hales Nov 2020
I
  think
           we're
                     both
                             addicted
To the
          M
            A
              D
                N
                  E
                    S
                     S
Of loving from a
                                                                                   distance
i
Hales May 2016
I've never liked the color brown
It has always seemed too weird to me..
In art brown can be made by mixing every color together and waiting to see what happens..

I ruined some of my best paints that way.

In earth brown is the tree bark, sometimes the fur of a small animal
Sometimes brown is the pile of dung you stepped in playing in your yard as a little kid.

Brown reminds me of the smell of a cow pasture
some people find it comforting
I just find it disgusting

I thought I could never love someone with brown eyes, for I even hated my own golden brown eyes.

But then I say him
He was perfect
everything about his was something I desired
everything from his hair to the small things like his country accent that got me so captured

The first thing  noticed when I saw him was his eyes
His big beautiful brown eyes
They were so mysterious and there was whirlpool of emotion entwined inside
I could see into them like open doors and I got lost in them
I loved his eyes
more than I thought i could ever love anything that shade of brown.

*I still hate my eyes
but the thought of his eyes bring me such joy.
The thought of the chocolate eyes that made me so happy and I fell so hard for.
I miss you
Hales Aug 2016
Brown eyes seem to be my weakness
Although I've spent years hating mine
I've fallen in love with the deep chocolate orbs more often than not

They come with a smile and a familiar warmth
Eyes that draw you in, forever a cyclone of emotions
I've spent years hating mine
Wishing for something different
Maybe a little blue

However, irony has me in its grips
I seem to find myself falling for those chocolate orbs all over again, getting lost in the warmth
A painful cycle I am hoping to forget.
Hales Mar 2016
In November I met brown eyes
I was held captive in a gaze,
entrapped in a conversation
Stuck on every word,
intoxicated by every syllable

In December I fell for stupid lies
I believed every word that came out of his mouth
He spoke poetry to to me,
with a forked tongue
What I failed to realize
is that some of the most beautiful patterns
belong to snakes

In January I cried
I realized my mistakes invested in him
He never spoke poetry,
just silver lies
The beauty in the things he had told me,
rehearsed verses for the ones before me

In February I realized
Maybe things were not meant to be
Every snake deserves love,
but some can't find that without destroying others first

In March I decided*
That it was best to let go
Even if he did destroy me,
I know my heart was genuine.
Just for him.
Hales Mar 2016
"Bandaids don't fix bullet holes"*


They may not fix bullet holes,

but that will never stop me from placing one over the hole you left me

after you shot me in the heart
Hales Feb 2016
"I love you"
"I love you more”
Was the only thing heard in the dead silent building

Blood stains the walls..
There's a body in room 15
Rotting and decomposing

It wasn’t always this dreary
the sun actually came out
birds sang...
Animals roamed free...

But now everything is gone,
the birds are dead
the animals are rabid..
Even the sun seems to be afraid to show its face

Humanity is dying,
a disease has affected everyone.
Patient 0 is long dead..
So are thousands of others

Life is coming to an end as we know it.
7.4 billion people
g o n e
Just like the wind


It took a day,
a week maximum.
Now only the strong survive.

Everyone thinks they’re alone,
maybe they are.
Some can’t handle it.
Some have hope for the future

Gunshots go off
the building echos;
broken windows like amp for the sound

inside this building we see
two people
one man
one woman
a bullet was all it took.
Im still at writers block; but im trying
Hales Feb 2016
I would love to be able to do a collaboration poem with someone* (: Please direct message me to discuss details. I was thinking we could both have the same topic; and write from two different sides (:
Hales Jan 2016
Dear whoever you are,

That bed,
that wretched bed.

Those sheets,
those cold and unforgiving,
sheets.

What possessed you?
What gave you the right?
What made you think it was okay?

What made you think what you'd done was okay?

What gave you the right?
What gave you the power?

Did you feel strong overcoming a child?
Did you feel manly knowing I couldn't defend myself?

I have nightmares about you
I wake up crying...

My friends have to stay on some sort of video chat,
just to make sure I sleep okay.
To make sure I don't wake-up sobbing

I was only a kid.
I don't even remember your face,
all you are is a blur...
But when I think of you

god I feel so filthy,
sometimes I make myself sick.

Sometimes I wake up,

and my body burns,
my skin crawls,
my throat closes up,

I cant breathe.
I cant think when I'm reminded of you.

What was your name?
How old were you?
How old was I?

So much of my life is gone because of you,
my innocence,
my memories,
my happiness,
my self love..

But do you know what you took from me?
You took my trust,
my dignity.

How do you think I feel?
Nobody but my friends believe me.
Scratch that,
nobody but ONE of my friends believe me.

They think I'm making it up,
because I don't know your face,
or your name,
or even my age at the time.

My own family doesn't believe me.
They tell me to come to them if someone "touches" me..
but..
I told them i remembered what you'd done

They said I was making it up!
They said I was lying!

Not only did you take away my "flower"
You stole the one thing nobody has ever been able to restore..

You stole my trust
You stole my happiness...

You stole who I am...

But I wont let myself be a victim forever,
one day...

I will RISE above
I will become more than my history
I will stop fearing you beyond every corner
I will stop being afraid of adult men
I will become more than you

So dear whoever you are
I hope you suffer at the thought of me
Like I do you

Signed,
*Not your Victim
When i was younger; I had something taken from me. Although I don't remember by who or when. I still remember the act.
Hales Mar 2016
Lovers by day;
Delinquents by night.
A theft of the heart;
With eyes shining bright.

They are a *perfect disaster.

Killer smiles and secretive eyes;
Delinquents with motives to hide.

They are a perfect disaster.
A sinner and a black sheep;
Delinquents that come in the night.

They are a perfect disaster.
Ruby red lips and baby blue eyes;
Delinquents that are running to hide.
Hales Jan 2016
I still think of you, every night, you know?
I still dream of you
Still have a fondness for the memories we've shared.
I still dream of the days when we didn't fight
I dream of when i didn't feel insecure.
Honestly,
I still miss you
I still love you.
I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted
I'm sorry I never became good enough
I know I failed.
And that's okay..
You don't need to reassure me now
I see me as I am
I see worthless.
because honestly,
I was worth-less to you in so many ways
and now I can see that.
I see that in a crystal clear way.
Hales Feb 2016
I was the cool moon,
You were the blazing sun.
Together we were an eclipse..

Now now I'm just missing the taste of your *lips.
For all those lost with love.
Hales Feb 2016
The initial heartbreak is gone...

And underneath that is anger;

Anger at you for leaving
Anger at myself for crying because you left
Anger at fate for giving me you
Anger at my heart for being so easily fooled

Under that anger is empty bitterness.

Bitterness because I let you get so close to me
Bitterness because I let you break my heart repeatedly

and bitterness because after all of that;

I still believed you loved me.
VIA My found 1 A.M Thoughts
Hales Mar 2016
We were perfect
If only for a moment

At first we collided,
only to fall apart.

Then we collided once more
our passion set ablaze by a simple word
you entertained my fire
and I, your ice

You were cold
I was hot

Together we were a disaster
in the worst of ways

You say my flames melted you, singed your core
But it feels more like your frost extinguished me, even worse than before
Hales Sep 2016
Four years was all it took
Four years of waiting
Four Years of watching
Four years of pain
Four Years of heartbreak

Four LONG years of pain and heartbreak,
of my feelings being disregarded and thrown aside,
four long years of being the second choice was all it took

I regained my senses, regained my pride

I figured out my worth and my RIGHT to be noticed

I realized  deserved better and I stood up for myself,

But after four, long, long years...
I am still stuck on you,
my first love,
my first heartbreak...

You are my dopamine,
the only one of your kind...
First loves ****. But in light of this, I am back from my Haiku, I am so sorry!
Hales Jan 2016
I fell for you.
You are my moon, my sun, my stars.
You sparked my flame.
You sparked my self love.
You sparked.. well.. Me.
But then you left.
You left me there
You wanted to "save me?"
You wanted me to go be happy
But Little did you know
You were my happy.
And when you left,
you said goodbye.
And I said goodbye
You thought I meant to you
but honestly
I was only saying goodbye
to the thought of ever being happy
with you
or anyone
Again.
Hales Feb 2016
Your hands around my throat
as you tell me you love me
Choking me slowly
as I'm gasping for your air

You promise you care
as your hand is in hers
You tell me not to cry
but youre the cause of my tears.

You say you’ll wait on me
as you leave everything I say in the wind
You say you’ll stay
but you ignore me for days

Why do you let your actions contradict your words?

Id there some sick pleasure for you?

As you have me pinned against a wall
screaming that you love me
With your hands around my throat
you’re choking me slowly
leaving me trapped as I gasp for air

I am your game
I see that…


**Maybe it’s time for me to win
Sadness is my game; poetry is how I play. (No actual abuse happened here; it is all in a metaphorical sense)
Hales Mar 2016
You say it's hard to believe I love you;
because I've said it to "every guy"
that I've been with.

While this may be true;
this phrase is funny coming from you..
Because you see;
once you had said to me..
That you don't even know if you can love me.

In the end my dear;
All I feel;

*Is Helpless.
Hi
Hales Feb 2016
Hi
Hi,
I am a *****.

Well,
Not in a literal way
I mean,
According to the dictionary a ***** is a *******
And according to the dictionary a ******* is a woman who sells their self in ****** ways for money

I am a *****

And not because it means *******
but because if someone acts a certain way
or someone thinks in a certain way
then society sees a perfectly acceptable insult as *****

I am a *****

not because I consider myself as such
but because
people seem to classify me based on what they hear

I am a *****

not because I have ever sold myself in a ****** manner for money
but because my best friend's ex seem messages between me and a guy that weren't "Pg-13" enough for him

I am a *****

Although I have never done anything to even remotely fit the definition
Although I enjoy dressing more conservative
Although I wouldn't let someone touch me in a ****** manner unless I really knew and trusted them

Hi,
I am a *****.

because it seems as though most of society is completely uneducated on what a ***** actually is.
Hales Feb 2016
You said you loved the rain.

But when I became a hurricane...


*You were nowhere to be found.
Kind of an ok poem
Hales Oct 2018
And just when I began to ignite

You put me out.
Hales Mar 2016
The comfort of blissful ignorance....
The comfort of YOUR blissful ignorance...

*Has been no comfort to me
Ignorant ignorant ignorant.
Hales Feb 2016
I loved you
You claimed to love me

But in the end,

You only loved her

While I loved you

So I guess its time to come to terms

Game over..
*I lose.
I lose.
Hales Nov 2020
The insomnia gnawing through my weary bones
will never compare
to the feelings
of loving
and losing
You-
iii
Hales Jan 2016
Have you ever met someone so intense
Not in a normal way
but in a way that when they look at you
you feel such Opia when you gaze into their eyes
Such an intensity flows from just a glance
it feels as though they see right through you
they know your hopes, your fears, your pain
They’ve seen you through your own eyes
and it began with only a glance
Have you ever met someone so intense?
I have,
They were one of the most interesting people I knew
however, it seems
the most intense people
cause the most heartbreak
and the most heartbreak
is caused by
the most intense people
they can see into your soul with only a glance
and leave you wanting, one more chance.
Hales Feb 2016
You are my intoxication

Better than any pill...

I am addicted..

But just like any other addiction,
you destroy me
slowly.
Hales Feb 2016
I want you
I want to feel your body against mine as we watch bad movies

I want your lips against mine everytime i say something insulting to myself

I want you to caress every scar and curve on my body as I lay next to you

I want to travel the world with you and have long car rides of nothing but us holding hands and listening  to whatever is on the radio

I want you at your most vulnerable moments to allow me to be there

I want to be by your side when it storms as i play with your hair and speak poetry to you that gets lost in the wind after it meets  your ears

I want to take off guard pictures of you and post how lucky i am and have you do the same in return.

I want you.
Entirely.
I want your lips,
your mind,
your heart,
and your soul.

I want everything when it comes to you

I want to hold your hand in public and have you memorize my body in private

I dont just want you.
I want us
I want you baby
Hales Feb 2016
Sometimes

as I lay alone at night;

I dive into the darkness of my mind;

and look for the light.
my battle with depression
Hales Feb 2016
One day the world shall end;
My love
One day the world shall end;
My love

One day..
The ground shall crumble under out feet;
My love

One day
the sky shall fall in on our heads;
My love

One day
One day
My love

One day the world shall end;
My love

One day YOUR world shall end…
My love…

One day;
My love

So today;
Pick your poison.
because YOU wont be seeing tomorrow
*My Love
Another poem i tried to write with writers block; might revise <3
Hales Mar 2016
You were the ocean...
beautiful and mysterious
Absorbing the light.
You engulfed me,
in your salty waves..
Pulling me into your depths,
your beauty has became my mystery,
your mystery has bathed me in fright..
You take my breath away,
filling my lungs with your salty waters.
I'm choking on the salinity,
of the waters I once adored..
Seemingly the key to my demise
Leaving the luster of your mystery to be washed away
Your waves crashing down on me
engulfing me in fear,
whispering you threats into my ears
You claimed your waters will protect me
I never knew they'd have to protect me*
From you.
For beatrice,
You used to leave me breathless..
Now you are.
-Lemony Snickett
Hales Jan 2016
There's a fine line between wants and needs..
Before I know it, you were a need
You said you wanted me
But I needed you.
Now I feel like a fool
because honestly
I needed you
but you never needed me too...
Hales Mar 2016
Life is my poetry,
             and so I shall write it.
     Poetry is my art,
                    and so I shall paint it.
Hales Jan 2016
Please..
Tell me it isn't true,
I'm praying, god I'm praying
I'm praying to a god I don't believe in
With tears that have fallen
Time and Time again
God, I hope
I hope with all of me,
This really isn't our loves end.
Hales Mar 2016
A giant figure passes her in the hall
he sends disguised smiles to everyone,

People see him as honest,
but she can see through his ruse..

His eyes even mask his intentions,
something no one but her could see through..

A delicate step was all it would take,
as she knew his past, present, and future..

She took her chance,
and as she gazed into his eyes,
she was looking through the windows to his soul..

Only to utter one word,
sealing his fate for life,

*P r i c k.
REPOSTED TO FIX ERRORS.

You thought this was a love story, right?
Hales Feb 2016
Pride os a strong  word
So many people use it
They have pride in their clithes
Their appearance
Their hair
Their homes.
However for me
Pride comes in some unusual forms.
Pride comes from text on a page,
And ugly ink splotch on a stark white dress
Pride comes from poetry
The elegant ways it dances from the poets mind as it plays its way across their lips or to their finger tips
Pride comes from new words
Never seen before combinations
New ideas and new arrangements
And endless sea with no boundaries but your own.

Pride comes from within me.
Pride in my poetry.
Hales Mar 2016
Behind the narcotic haze,
can you even see yourself?

Can you recognize yourself,
under all the scars and smoke?

Can you sort something other,
than the pills you've taken?

Or filter out something,
other than you ***** you're drinking?

Can you say with one hundred percent conviction,
that this is better this way?

Can you say without any ounce of future contradiction,
that you'll never see better days outside your drug-induced-haze?

Starless eyes,
blending with empty smiles..

Hidden beneath,
is the indifferent, callous, leering, and charred remains of a heart.

One covered in diamonds in gold,
now singed ad cracked,
constantly under attack..

Finally you have come to realize,
that nothing else remains.
Found an old poetry notebook :)
Hales Feb 2016
It's nothing more than a word to some
It can bring back memories thought to be lost
A simple home
A small dog..
But safety to me lies within a person.
Entwined in their eyes and embedded in their being
When most people think safety, they think of something normal.
But for me,
Safety is him.
Gone with my fears and my regrets
Gone with my nightmares that terrorised me for months on end.
Safety is him and the tought of one day finally being in his arms
Even for a moment...
Written full of emotions torwards someone special.
Hales May 2016
This wont be a poem, it's an actual conversation of me venting out how I feel

You always tell me to ****

because you need to ****, its in the past

i cant okay because I'm so ******* confused on everything.I feel like such a **** up nobody wants me and i feel like everything i do always ends up ****** and all i want is you tbh i cant even think of kissing someone and idk how it happened with C i was just having a good time and
M's ex was right
everything he says about me is right and i just I don't know but his favorite thing was to call me a stupid freak or a giraffe legged ***** so
and honestly all of those are right
"I see why your boyfriend dump you"
I see it too
and i just
I'm sorry
I'm a mess
I'm sorry


Stop

*i really shouldn't pour out on you
you have your own stuff and i know I'm probably stress
i cant do anything right
there has to be a reason everyone leaves me and i know its always me
MB hated me because I'd always get upset so easily and I'd cause "drama"
my last boyfriend couldn't handle that I was damaged and i thought you would stay and i know you want to fix your life
but
****
I'm sorry
Im sorry i **** things up and break down so easily
I'm sorry I'm really sorry
i feel like every guy i date only wants me to pass time or to try and **** me and that's awful because i know it might not be true but
I cant even trust myself to stay happy
who says i can trust a guy not to hurt me and to top it all off I'm so scared you'll see what i see wrong in me and what M's ex did and ill lose you
or you'll find someone else and i wont know and you'll just slowly stop responding and stop caring
because they're prettier and you can see them
or you actually love them and not me and it hurts because i get in my head
I love you.
This is between someone I care about and i pulled a lot of their messages trying to help out because i feel like its something I want to keep to myself  in the area they responded, but.. This is how I feel most of the time and I know its probably pointless to put it on here since I don't want sympathy I just wanted another way to vent.
Hales Feb 2016
They say that after 7 years, all the cells in your body are replaced

That fact is wrong...

but it's comforting to know skin cells are constantly being replaced;

and after a while I'd have skin *you've never touched
Hales Feb 2016
Brown hair
with chocolate eyes
I would really hate to say goodbye

You said you loved me and I fell once,
but nothing was there

You said you loved me and I fell twice,
but nothing was there

You said you loved me and for the last time I fell,
but nothing was there

You said you loved me once more
I didn’t fall

You’ve cried wolf one too many times

You said I was the one
but I did not fall
You cried wolf for the last time

Your claims have no proof
and I know it was only a game


It’s funny how a snake;
could cry wolf so many times

So..

Brown hair
with chocolate eyes
I think its time I said *goodbye
Notes to my ex.
Hales Feb 2016
My heart is paper thin;
As you tell me
                      you
                         love
                             me..


Do you mean it?

Or are you just telling me pretty
                                                      lie­s?
As you look me in the eyes...

Do you really care?

      Man;
           Im
             So
               *******
                  *Scared....
My ex comes into my life and he screws me up. I have uncontrollable bursts of anger.. Is this normal? I want him back and he's showing he wants me but after I talk to him I'm in such a fowl mood...
Hales Nov 2020
When you said you loved the darkness inside-
I never thought
Id watch
as
it
       c
          o
            n
             s
            u
          m
        e
      d
You....
iiii ****...
Hales Feb 2016
Honestly my dear;

I'd sell myself to the devil...




before I let your lips anywhere near my neck again.
Please stay 10000000000 miles away from me and my heart.
Hales Mar 2017
What makes art, art?
IS their s special form I have to follow
Or a paint in a special bottle?

Should I wish upon a star?
or take a road trip to the mountains?

Maybe I should get a new cat
Or ask the public for inspiration

What makes art, art though?
Does anybody know?
Hales Aug 2016
I had a date with past heartbreak
Brown eyes and a smile
The type of features that begged you to stay for a while
Maybe sit down and have some tea
Then discuss the past and what used to be

I had a date with past heartbreak
That date turned to two
And that one to three
I found myself falling again
On a date with past heartbreak

We spoke for hours
we spoke for days
I couldn't see myself with anybody else
What started out as a friendly gesture
Turned into passion and emotion

i HAD a date with past heartbreak
Who would've thought it would've left another wound?
Hales Mar 2016
You make me feel like the Queen of Fools…
Gifting me all these precious jewels
I don’t know if your intentions are crystal and your heart is gold

Still; you gift me all these precious jewels
Leaving me to feel like the Queen of Fools.
because even the most precious jewels can not satisfy me.
For what I truly desire are your intentions to be of crystal and a heart of gold.

However it seems to be that;
I am the Queen of Fools,
surrounded by all these worthless jewels.
*As it seems; the most worthless of them all has become you to me
Hales Feb 2016
The block is back
I swear it comes at the worst times

It comes to visit without notice,
giving me no time to prepare

My homes a mess;
My words are scrambled

It sounds like all my poems are a terrible ramble
of sadness and humor
of pain and anger

Can someone please
tell Writers block to give a three day warning next time?
I have writers block. I can't write stories or poems :'(

— The End —