Maybe I have a sandpaper soul
Scratching pieces of you into dust
All while wishing you’d stay rough
And also the perfect smooth
You’ve already found your groove
For one who don’t want to know
There’s nothing to prove
I coulda been better
I coulda been best
But the proctor of the test
Keeps the door shut
Locked with a key
Forgot where it’s put
I send reminders daily
But you’re not even looking for me

We get it
You’re the elderly flower child
Living on your hippie dreams
Love is your prescription
For coming apart at the seams
Peace and groovy
And get a little ******
You think it’s that easy
Must be nice for you
To be a trust fund baby

You sustain me
Long after your death
Your perfect love still warms me
I feel it
Every day
Some days
It carries me

It’s such a tragedy
You do not know me
But I’m just one of us two
It may be a blessing for you

One time
You took me horseback riding
With a guide
And rented horses
I focused on how romantic it was
But I couldn't help but notice
How much that horse
You rode
Hated you

Temper turns temples to dust
Temper brings about unjust
Washes up a stupid storm
Smart decisions not the norm
I, me, the biggest dummy
When the temper strikes in me

I only know you
Invisibly
Your face is something
I've yet to see
I know your heart
What's in your soul
I must admit
It's beautiful
It makes me wonder
What I'll see
If you turn out to be
Really ugly

Boy!  
I done made the front page
More than once
Even all the way at the top
All this brilliance
And you remain
Uninterested
As frustrating as it is
I like it that you’re hard to impress
Whether you’re paying extra attention
Or not
I can only guess

The chain of events
Sometimes unpredictable
But often not
You knew what your actions were leading to
It’s no surprise to anyone what you got
That doesn’t mean we don’t wish it went down differently
But when you keep your eyes closed
Don’t expect us to feel sorry that you cannot see

I am a beautiful mess

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird, fly
Blackbird, fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird, fly
Blackbird, fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Every night
He sits in his car for a full
Twenty minutes
Before going into his house

Dear stranger *****
Sitting in some lonely room
Typing away on your keyboard
Spreading dirt and gloom
You think you're hurting feelings
And causing so much strife
But I think you're just demonstrating
You've got a lonely, miserable life
The rest of us will gladly forget you
As soon as the thread is done
But you're still stuck with yourself
A single,  desperate one

It’s like untying a knot
Work this lace loose
The next and the next
So many
It’s going very slowly
One day
We both will be free
If you happen to want
Freedom from me

I suppose if I talked about suicide
Maybe someone would listen
But it’s not so dramatic
As that
At least all at once
Ongoing drama
Unexpressed
And unending
Is no less of an end
Just played out
Not sure which is sadder

The new mint chocolate chip tile
On words with friends
Only $9.99
Of real money
For that imaginary thing

Mister
Your creepy dog is a crotch sniffer
I prefer you keep him on a leash
Safely out of my ******’s reach

I know you've been hurt before
It's unfortunate
What you went through
But stop treating me like I'm
Deceptive
Because someone else lied to you

I am an ant in the room
Competing with the elephant
For notice
But as an ant
I should plainly see
I don’t want the elephant
To notice me

I don't expect an apology
In fact
You probably think you're
Owed one from me
You like to twist reality
And I think you might be
Maybe crazy

Logically
I know my professed
Feelings for you
Cannot possibly be true
I’m just a stranger
Behaving strangely
Believing in some fake
Wanna be my destiny
And instead of realizing what a fool I be
I’m delusionally
Thinking
“Well, this is his effect on me”
Day by day
This I see
I mean nothing to you
And I don’t know what you mean to me
But it cannot possibly be
What I think I can see
And the things I think I feel
I must accept they aren’t real
If they were of any value
You would surely feel them too
Vapors of feelings
I pretend to be true
Whispers on winds
About birds and bees
Heard only by trees
Repeated by their leaves in the breeze
Sent to a man
Who doesn’t speak
The language of trees

Falling in love is a game for fools
So many rituals
But no steady rules
What is there one day
Could be gone the next
Send your whole life crashing
With just one text
But sometimes you float
And even fly
Often when you don’t even try
Partnership forged
Feelings engorged
This game for fools
Has so many rewards

I avoided you
Quietly
But you perceived
And became confused
And you felt insulted, too
You blamed me
For keeping my distance
And felt I was being unfair
You seemed to think I owed
You attention
Simply because I didn’t care
And the next thing I knew
You started to abuse
Calling names
Making up stories
Imagining I had hurt you
And the more I refused
To acknowledge your ruse
The angrier you got
In the imaginary war you fought
Between your ego
And the slight of being ignored
Such is the combatants
In many imaginary wars

Ethnic cleansing
Subjugation
Kidnapping
******
Are not nearly as
Interesting
As one slap
Human beings
Tend to love crap

Let me rustle ya sheets
Get them bedsprings
Hopping to the beats
There be you and me
Salty sweet flings
Skin to skin of sweaty freaks

I’m helpless
Completely
Everyone has to take care of me
My mind is foggy
I cannot recall any memory
And then, I am suddenly aware
Lots of play
Lots of work
A decent amount of sunny days
Health and vitality
Kids and family
Health and vitality
A decent amount of sunny days
Lots of work
Lots of play
And then, I am suddenly aware
I cannot recall any memory
My mind is foggy
Everyone has to take care of me
Completely
I’m helpless

You were privileged
By me
When I wrote you all that poetry
And you
Foolishly
Pretended you couldn’t see
Is that spitting in the face
Of all poetry
Or did you only spit at me?  
You got your own story
That I bet you probably
Almost believe

The things I almost say
Might be
The mountain I must climb
To arrive at my peak
Grit my teeth
And speak

You enter the mix
Uneventfully
Just there, one day
And it felt you had always been
No waves or even ripples
Just a gentle warming of the waters
And then you were there
Water becomes playful
And quenching
And
Absolutely Necessary

There is no “forever home”
For a person with
A disability
And there is no control
Over what happens to me
Maybe I have never had any

The luxury of boredom
Like anything else
Can become too much of a good thing

There you are
Nearly too far
But that’s just me
Looking at it optimistically

You like me too much
You think I am better than I am
I am uncomfortable with
Your vision of me
It is a poor reflection of society
That it is sometimes more comfortable
To be underestimated
Than it is to be overestimated
But
I’m not sure what it says about me

It’s the time
Between you and I
When one of us might decide
Running away
Is the way it will play
And all I can say
Is I ain’t going nowhere today

Sometimes I can really bring it
Other times
Tapped
And then
I try to write a poem about that
All the wack and wonderful
To be drawn about
And here I sit
Tapped out
Inspiration hardly ever comes
When it’s begged for
So I sit here
Feeling like Eeyore

Does the bee know it will die
Before the sting
Or does it’s act of anger
Cause a surprise reckoning?

Poetry
For me
Was getting to see
Your lies become known
And your prisoners free
Now you sit in the cage
You created in rage
To make someone else suffer
Your lies on the page
Have become your own cage
When you thought they would make you
Some sort of a sage

Please keep your God
Out of it
And all your assumptions
Too
I do believe in a higher power
But God is not the same
Being
For me as it is for
You
You may belong to the bigger club
With all the powerful people and tools
But frankly, having more members  
Also means you have more fools

You must have loved me
As good as you were
Capable
And the heartbreak
Ensued
Was ******* you, too

It’s in your aura
It’s in your eyes
It’s sitting up between your thighs
It’s locked
It’s loaded
It’s sugar-coated
With that mojo
Over-bloated
Got me singing to the breeze
Begging won’t you
Please PLEase PLEASE!
Get yaself between my knees

You have engulfed yourselves
In the flames of your lost cause
To see it through
You will ignore laws
Show your own
Hypocrisies
Whine and cry
And moan about imaginary
Disparities
You have become more
Irritating
Than an infestation
Of fleas

The woods are most appreciated
By people who have no desire to
Live in them
Underrated
Beauty
Is used to turned backs

It felt contrived
And reaching towards a place
I don't want to go
Aimed at people I don't
Want to travel with
It came from some part of me
I'm in the process of
Deleting

Not sure what could have been
If I had only seen it then

Failure is certainly an option
In fact, it’s probably how it will be
If I ever admit
I’ll no longer compete
As long as I keep trying
I haven’t really lost
And so
Here I am
Not winning like a boss

I would think different and even, as one thinks they feel like a child they feel way too small under I think she believes.  They I would have.

A day
Like yesterday
And the day before
It’s probably not fair to complain
I wish there was something more
Some days
There is

You and I are alike
Maybe we all are
Innately human
Whatever that is
For good or ill
Humans have
Demons
We are alike in our demons
However different they may be

It was over before it began
Clearly not part of the plan
But the way it is
Is the way it will be
I won't blame you
If you don't blame me

I see you looking at me
Or maybe it’s imaginary
But I always look to maybe see
You looking at me
You beautiful human being
Got me remembering a forgotten dream