I can feel it
Dripping down my arm,
The warm trickle
Of the beautiful red substance
That seems to be the only thing
Keeping me sane.
I can feel the rush of emotions,
Just dripping right out of me
The only thing it leaves in its wake
Is a lost little kid
Who seems to feel nothing anymore
I can feel it
The tears from my eyes
I’m crying in my bedroom
Letting out all the pain
Because it’s all my fault
And I’m not causing others any gain
I can feel it
The constricting of my heart
As I pretend to be fine
And go about my day pretending
I’m not going to break
I can feel it
The anger at myself
For letting others opinions drive me to
This point
But I cannot stop
And I don’t want to
Because this is all I know
Is what you reap you sow.

Anger
Sadness
Frustration
All falling down my face
In a foreign form called tears
I look up
And listen to the reason for these tears
I hear them walking away
Until the only thing heard
Are my cries
I pick myself up
And get back to work
Wondering when these foreign things
Would make an appearance
Once again

I was broken
After you left
I was doing my best to cling to life,
Even though I knew you would be back,
To knock me down again.
I hear you coming back
I can smell the reek of spirits
From the place I dubbed my sanctuary.
I hear you climbing up the stairs,
With your heavy footfalls,
And I brace myself, to be shattered tonight.
I meet you at the top of the stairs,
Not wanting to ***** my safe place.
After all is done,
Here I lay,
Completely Shattered,
From the hands of someone
I once loved.

This is for all you parents out there.
You say that you hate hypocrites,
But go look in a mirror and see the real hypocrites.
Maybe you will see the real reason why we,
The kids,
Hate your rule over us.
You tell us to do things,
Then you don’t do them yourself.
You tell us not to lie
But what are the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause?
You tell us not to curse,
But guess where I learned
Most all the ones I know.
You tell us to never tell you no,
Yet that's all y’all seem to say to us.
You tell us no dessert before dinner,
Yet you get to eat brownies all day long?
You always have the exact same excuses,
“I’m older than you”
“I can do what I want”
“You don’t understand”
Well you want to know what?
That doesn’t matter.
All it did was teach me to be like you,
A hypocrite.

I miss the days when
I could speak without judgement
I miss the days
When I could run around,
Carefree
I miss the days when
Everything wasn’t complicated
With the things going on in the world
And how much it changes,
It’s going to start to affect people
Terrorism and shootings have become common
And no one blinks an eye at it
Treaties are being made and destroyed,
With all this going on,
I just wish the old days were back,
They were filled with laughter and joy,
Not depression and self-loathing
Those days were filled with wonder
Not complicated and downright horrible
But I know,
Those days are behind us
And they may never happen again,
At least I have the memories of
Simplicity and happiness

She stands alone,
Looking out the window,
Seeing the other kids her age,
Playing and having fun.
He stands in a crowd,
Surrounded by others his age
Feeling alone
Staring at the girl all by her lonesome.
One isolated,
With no friends,
The other surrounded by others,
With no real friends.
One day they meet,
Bumping into each other
On the way to their respective activities.
They immediately feel a connection
And they no longer feel alone.
They get to know each other,
They start dating,
They get married.
And when they die,
They know they won’t be alone,
Not anymore,
For they have each other.

I’ve got problems
I know I do
But I ignore them
Constantly thinking others have it worse
They have it worse
Than the occasional yelling
They have it worse
Than the feeling of being isolated
They have it worse
Than the occasional self-loathing.
I feel like I can’t get help,
Why should I waste anyone's time
With problems that don’t even matter
Compared to others?
Others have abusive parents,
Others are constantly yelled at,
Others are going through so much worse
Than I have ever gone through.
But then why do I feel this way?
Like I have things not resolved,
Like I’m not enough?
Like I feel bad for wanting help?
I can’t help but compare myself to others,
And I can’t help but think I’m insignificant
Compared to everyone
Who has it way worse than I do.