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Kim Essary Jan 2021
State of shock transitioned into sadness
Emotions like a clown only there was no smiling only silence of my own thoughts acting as if it were a mime.
Within a split second of his voice speaking to me
I was baffled by my own tongue running words right back but never whispering a sound.
Surely he was just , wait no he wasn’t he was and he did and he said
Words I never dreamed to come from my soul mate,  my best friend my love
Now the torture of my burning heart and my spinning head
Knowing with my every thought I will never forget the hateful things he said
Make them go away
All those hateful words
Once they flow from your lips , they are forever here to stay
It’s not the spitting of words it’s the way they taste of poison when you have to swallow them back.
Kim Essary Dec 2020
Once upon a time in this world that once was,
There was laughter of children playing in the street
Their faces weren’t covered with anything but a smile
Church doors were open for service
Education wasn’t an option as to teach in our homes
We had no social distancing or stand 6 feet apart
We spent our holidays as a family
There were no laws to remove our freedom as it has come to be
For all the generations to come will never experience what life was like when we were the land of the free.
As it speaks for itself
Kim Essary Dec 2020
Searching to find myself assuming I was lost
Reality was no more or no less than my thoughts
I searched far and near only to find I was nowhere near lost only mistaken
Visions of who I am and how I should be
Remained squabbled and tossed inside of me
For the way I wanted and expected my life was the furthest from the way I could see
Atlas now I know I can find my way although I no not to where
I found I was no longer lost , only mistaken
Things aren’t always as they appear
Kim Essary Oct 2020
The hurt and sadness coming from your voice is ripping at my heart like a jagged knife ripping through flesh
You are mine to protect and nurture and that box made of steel that you are caged in remains my every nightmare as I sleep and my weakness in my thoughts while I’m awake
A young man with eyes that glisten and a beautiful face of an angel, the heart that’s pure and giving
Yet you made some wrong choices but not deserving to be slammed behind bars in a cold cell and treated like a beast of rage
My expression of fury at my fingertips for if I was evil as they, surely I would cast every sinful spell across their beings and make them feel your pain
**** those that pass yet judgement yet hold no crown of thorns upon their head
For He that cast the first stone let him stand in judgement free of sin
For the Laws of this wicked world all turned to the evils of bribery and political gain as there is no longer a man that sits to hold true to the laws that are written for of the greater the judge feels as though he himself can unwrite and interfere with the laws of our God and pick which laws and sentence for the same crime yet treat them different
Stand with your armor as it isn’t seen my son for is the coming of our dear Lord and savior to be the punishers And the  Judge of the wickedness that per-trays to call themself some part of Law and Order as Our God is so much Greater as they will soon see.
There is no rightful judicial system left remaining in this world
Kim Essary Oct 2020
If Love were a battle which side would you choose
For one Side will claim victory  and the other side shall lose
As one side puts trust in armor to protect and shield their heart
As the opposite side wears nothing but trust and faith  as the battle is to start
Arrows begin to sore bouncing from the hearts wearing armor made of steel
Others left wounded and scarred of the ones they don’t ****
Love Will never be felt by the ones left without injury  and walked away
But the ones that had trust and faith   That let down their guard will find true love one day
If you never let down your guard for fear of being hurt you may never feel true love
Kim Essary Oct 2020
As this day rains tears amongst his family and friends
This very same day your precious daddy’s eternal life begins
To know him was to love him he’s left so many memories of a great man behind
A man of God , A great father and grandfather, a loving husband , and to all he knew , so generous and kind
Life holds no promise as to when the Good Lord says it’s our time to go
Cherish every second you are given  for you never know
“Don’t cry tears of sadness for me as you lay me to rest, be at peace and rejoice for me for as I walked through the gates of heaven down the streets made of Gold my pain was gone no worries in my head as The Lord placed beautiful wings on my shoulders and a halo above my head. Now I can still watch over each of you until  we meet again one day
You may not can see me but  I’m never far away. “
As you gather around my grave don’t say your last goodbye, say i will see you later before you turn to walk away,
Let my passing be instead a reminder of how precious life is because we never no if today will be your last day.
Dedicated to my dear sweet friend Beckey   As she lays her daddy to rest
Kim Essary Sep 2020
God must have had a plan when He allowed our paths to cross
I never imagined another feeling my pain and having so much loss
Through so much in such little time we’ve been knocked down and got back up again
We’ve stood against the system and for what we believe in
I honestly thought we had won the war when they set your son free
Now I sit here in disbelief for your son has turned against you and the system has taken mine from me
I’ve watched you endure way to much pain
All we both wanted was to show our sons there is sunshine between the rain
I’m not real sure where we went wrong
Talked to and treated like were nobody and made to feel like we didn’t belong
Sadness pours upon my heart like a wounded soldier lost his war
Now a glimpse of reality spins Around in my head  leaving the thought of I should have done more
I’m so sorry for the hurt in your heart I wish I could make it go away
I feel you pain and know how bad it hurts you Every single day
I will never understand how loving your child and wanting them to live right
Was reason enough to be treated this way, how they didn’t even care where we laid our head at night
I’ve watched you live out of a shop that wasn’t fit to live
When a few miles away your only son has a home but not a care did he give
Being treated like the enemy when all we wanted for them was the best
We’ve exhausted all of our efforts now it’s time For us  to rest
I hope and Pray we live to see the day when our boys realize we only meant them well
But until that day comes all we can do is pray and only time will tell.
To my ride or die Colleen
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