I who ponder my own guilt,
am ecstatic when I am uncertain,
Euphoria brings a sense of discomfort,
so up until now,
I made excuses not to feel it.

Discomfort of creative freedom will become comfort if it has a purpose,
I've got so used to feeling nothing,
my heart beating so energetically seems like an illusion.

A change of heart is what frightens me,
how will I overcome the elimination of stillness in my days,
Time will pass,
and I mustn't regret anything,
Soenjoy the blessings given by the present moment.

I carry with me
a light of hope
for a better tomorrow
but that tomorrow never comes

I cannot stand
lying to myself
Yet I cannot watch
myself become this weak

There arises a war
within oneself;
At one moment
a wish for something otherworldly
and another
the indifference

Put to a halt whatever
it is that you think you can do;
make ammends
and become at peace
with your inability to feel whole

There is a hole
an insatiable void
inside your mortal body
Minutes ticking by
you no longer are young and filled with hope

It does not matter
how much time I'll spend
recovering from my mistakes,
as long as I do carry out
a revolution from under my fingertips.

This paper,this is my proof,
that I'll never give up on
the power of youth,
who all got their dreams taken away.

In this chaos,
I will find harmony,
and halls of golden ideas
and strings of fate
will dance under the light
of millions of candles.

Remember my words,
for you will read them
one day,after all ends,
and they will remind you of
the days you used to hold back your power.

I do not dictate
how you might think,
but I will make you proud of the flame
within you.

Sadly,
there are not many of us
willing to lose
our precious trained minds.

Not many of us
willing to give power
to the cosmic yearnings
inside our chests.

I tried forgetting you,but how can I?
When I see you in every tree,every cloud,every breeze,
Your eyes are my untopia,
the only place I can rest,
I want to be the only one who dares to look into those passionate forests,
And see how high I can really go before I fall down.

The smell of old fantasy books,
and the color brown,
The warmth of the Sun,
and the light of the Moon,
All of this reminds me of you.

I want all the steps I take on this cursed earth to lead me to you,
Every breath I take just so I can feel your scent,
Every day your image sweeps over my mind.

I'm sorry,
but I could never stop thinking about you,
when you are all the warmth I feel,
even in the coldest wind,
And I know you love me enough,
maybe not as much as I love you,
but you get the point.

Hot tears spill
despite the efforts of my fists
deep in my eye sockets.
Even behind the void,
my sensitivity escapes.
Even when I think I've outgrown it,
it comes back like a curl around my heart.

If only I could black out
without causing them any worries,
and in my greatest passion
to deal with my pain,
there's still something left to criticize.

If only I could show
how flawed I am.
Prove that I'm not the perfect child
they hoped for.
If only I could stop feeling
the world around me
as a burden in my chest.

Do I feel you when the nights are unsteady,
when I need someone to hold me,
I wish you could understand my longing,
and give me the love I try to earn.

You,my dear,
are a living,breathing piece of art,
Pure,perfect,passive,
there's no line I wouldn't cross for you.

Somehow,I am able to keep my calm around you,
keep myself from shivering after your touch,
Somehow I am able to keep my sadness away,
because you bring me light.

You are as beautiful as Nature itself,
and the two of us are just two specs of dust that look at the grey sky,
You & I,so little in this big world,
yet so special,private and iridescent.

We can't see past the blue,
but I know my love for you is as big as the Cosmos,always growing,
But why does it hurt more with every time I look into your eyes?
-Sad.

I fell asleep with the
rays of sunshine
kissing my skin,
listening to sounds of guitar,
strumming in the wind.

I wish I could find someone
to bathe with me in the sun's light
of the early evening,
at sunset.

Locked limbs,
breaths in tune,
huffs of air are certainly heard.

And it's warm in this place,
softer than the clouds,
where we can admire eachothers
face lines as we will when we get older.

Too soon to leave,
I'm afraid to ask you,
for only a favor:
"Will you please stay like this with me forever."

I breathe in this uncomfortable terror
of waking up every morning,
and giving up on changing my world.

I breathe out this comfortable discomfort,
that is me knowing I can do better,
yet I feel as if I have no control whatsoever.

I'm the river
in which you have found yourself
I will overbear you with my love
There it is!
blooming in my chest
a soft lotus springing from underneath all this melancholy
overflowing
radiating
as I give away pieces of myself I'll never regret
I've waited on the right person
to take all my heart
I'm filled
with content
-I'm here to show you that you're lovable

A challenge was set before me,red rose blooming,
But my feet refused to take a step towards the danger,
my hands refused to hold onto the rose,
although my heart wanted to.

My fingers could've bled,
and blood could've been sweet,
The pain would've torn me,
I would've found meaning as well.

I was ****** to be a lover of chaos,
destructive idealism,
and moonlight.

Born as a child of nature,
born and died,and will live again,
Mighty fragile and weak,
but inside is what flames are missing.

Familiar with all,
I awaken with a thirst for freedom,
In it I am caged,
just to feel the purity of this life.

I write so my history is never forgotten
I cried because of all the things I couldn't become to satisfy you
I laughed when I realised I can do much better than just satisfy you
I can bring you to your knees
make you bleed my name from your lips just for a touch of my cosmic beauty
stars have exploded within me
for years I have battled waking up to hate myself
but I am no longer a stone
but a star
I write so I never forget who I was
I was broken
small
insignificant

and now I'm your biggest nightmare
a string of light you want to be under
but I dont let you
for you have underestimated me years prior
you will not get a feel of my warmth
remember that

Trapped in an age
Of what is wrong and what is right
It occurred to me
That I do not belong in here
The purity of my being
Despises
This electronic paradise
I wish for a remedy
To be in love
And feel emotion again
When all I'm capable of now
Is holding myself to a standard
Of everyday chatter
Stuck in my head
Repeating phrases
That aren't so lovely
I wonder if I can find
A fix for my thoughts
Hiding away into daydreams
Seems like the right thing to do
When all I can feel is dissapointment
In the modern world
Press record and skitter
Into a world of your flawless self
In this I'm lost
Must I be like this
I'm tired