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Troy 21h
There's a darkness in my heart
And it's starting to break out
The sky starts burning up
Flames of old and flames of new
Burning everything in its path

I can't let go of all the pain
That comes with the world
Maybe it's better to just
End it all right now
I know that you feel the same way too
But that's not how the cards fall down
Push through it all and it will turn around

Scream and shout
Hear my voice across the sky
Beg and plead
Hear the sound of my voice
As it soars across the sky

Where do we go from here
Why do we even care
Where is my love at now
Where have they gone

Scream and shout
Hear my voice across the sky
Beg and plead
Hear the sound of my voice
As it soars across the sky

I'm begging you please don't go
Our story's not over yet
But you don't care

Do you
Do you
Do you

Scream and shout
Hear my voice across the sky
Beg and plead
Hear the sound of my voice
As it soars across the sky

I'm falling on my knees
Begging you please
Won't you stay with me
But off you go
Right out that door

The darkness in my heart
Growing stronger evermore
And as I call out your name
With the last bit of my strength
I call out in love

I'll miss you
I'll miss you
I'll miss you
Troy 22h
With each passing day
This heart grows weaker
Burning itself up
In the flames of despair

Longing for something
That will never be
It rips and tears
Bleeding out it’s cries

As the heart inflates
The burning intensifies
Threatening to stop the heart
And end the life of the one who hold it

Buckling over in agony
From the pain deep within their chest
Crying out for some kind of relief
As tears run down their face

The pain intensifies so greatly
That the heart starts to falter
Missing beats and becoming unbalanced
As the blood builds up inside

Steadily with each day that passes
The body gets colder
Fearing that it’s coming to an end
They clench their chest tightly

Heavy breaths escape their lips
As it gets harder and harder to breathe
The heart is failing
And only one thing can set it free

But alas this thing
In which can set the heart free
May never happen
And if it might the chances are slim at best

Collapsing onto the floor
The body crumbles into a heap
The heart pulsing loudly
As it sounds it’s last beats

Tears run dry
As the body turns stiff
The heart stops pumping
As the eyes turn cloudy

Far from which this has occurred
The one who can stop it is unaware
Whether they are ignorant to the fact
Or simply wishes to ignore

This love that’s inside
This failed heart was real
As well as the pain
That it had endured

So weep if you care
For it is now too late
You have missed your chance
To save the one you need
I was told that I have BHS(Broken Heart Syndrome) and that is why I feel emotional pain in my chest as a burning flame that emanates from my heart..
Troy 4d
The days are getting longer
Starting to blend in with each other
I’m losing track of time
My mind is slowly collapsing

I try so hard to move on
To push past this pain
But there’s a constant reminder
Imprinted in my body

A constant reminder
Of what you called me
I got it cause I wanted to be with you
For the rest of time itself

But now it’s only role
Is to remind me
I lost you forever
And won’t get you back

I can’t bare to look at myself
For every time I see it
My heart dies even more
Pushing back through that hospital door

I need it removed or covered
Or it will be the death of me
For its only now a reminder
Of how much of a fool I am

I loved you unconditionally
Pushed my beliefs aside
Cared for you when you were sick
Held you as you cried

But none of that matters
Not to you at least
Because you went off to her
Just because she was nice

She has the same habits
That you do to destress
But trust me on this
She can’t love you like I do

She won’t do what you like
That’s something hard to find
You threw away something rare
A relationship with perfect sync

You turned lust into obsession
And pushed me away
We lost our entire lives
Because of one mistake you made

But I don’t blame you
I don’t care at all
Material things don’t matter
But you ripped out my soul

I’m in constant pain now
My heart threatening to fail
At every spike in emotion
But honestly I wouldn’t care

As long as I still had you
Standing by my side
I can’t do this alone
I need my wolf back

This little fox is slowly dying
His heart on the brink of failure
He needs his wolf back
By his side even if it’s one last time

For you see my dear wolf
This foxes time is almost up
His heart can’t take much more strain
And it’s only getting worse with time

His heart is failing
But you don’t see it
He’s been hiding it for years
So you didn’t have to worry

But because of a condition
That he has kept secret
He has now signed his death warrant
And it’s only a matter of time

I doubt you will read this
Or even care to help
But not even doctors
Can properly treat this

They can only treat the side effects
Unless they go into surgery
But you know your fox
And how bad that would be

He has resigned to living in pain
Like he has done for years before you
But unlike before he can’t ignore it now
For the one who guarded him from the pain

Is no longer by his side protecting him
He is now all alone
Surrounded by the demons
Who were too afraid to come out

They are free to roam
Attacking without care
Destroying your fox with such veracity
There’s no longer an escape

He swore to you
He would never end his life
But he could never promise
His demons wouldn’t stop his heart
Troy 7d
Rip away the silence
And break away these chains
My heart of hearts calls out to you
I just hope you are able to listen

My love will never die
No matter what you push me through
My love will only grow
From here on it’s for you

I slowly breathe
I will stand up tall
I can shout from the rooftops
And express my love for you

But would you have done the same
Or has this been completely one sided
I don’t think you ever felt the same
And it’s slowly killing me

I know I need to get help
But I refuse to until I know
Am I just imagining that you loved me
Or did you truly want my hand

I’m running out of time
Hoping so badly that I see
My wish becoming true
But I know

I know that’s only a pipe dream
You crushed my heart
Ripped it right out of my chest
And smashed it to the ground

If only you could see
The damaged you have done to me
Now all I’m able to do
Is curl up in a ball and cry

My life is now over
I can’t see the light
There is no end
To this dark and lonely place

I try and reach out
But I’m just ignored
I call out to you
Hoping you could understand

My love is undying
No matter what I try
My heart just calls out to you
It would rather die than be abandoned

And so I sit here crying
With my knees to my chest
Hoping that one day
I will get another chance

It pains me to see
That you no longer want me
But I must push through
And keep the hope alive

Cause if I don’t
I know I won’t survive
The pain that will ensue
Deep within my heart
Mar 25 · 75
Forbidden Exchange
Troy Mar 25
Take this glue
And seal my heart
Fix the cracks
Which are leaking black

Save my soul
From rotting away
This pain is becoming
Unbearably real

My love is too strong
To just vanish like you want
It’s like a fire burning
Threatening to turn into ash

Place your hand
Upon my heart
And feel the blaze
That still remains

Growing stronger
With each passing day
I beg my heart
To stop this display

But to my dismay
It doesn’t listen
It does what it wants
Even if it causes pain

I beg and I plead
For this agony to end
For my suffering to stop
But it will never come

I try to distract myself
Distract my heart and mind
Put them on something else
Anything at all

But you always seem
To come crawling in
Setting my heart ablaze
And my mind turns dark

My love for you
Won’t stop growing
No matter how hard I try
My mind can’t stop it

The heart wants what the heart wants
Or at least that’s how the saying goes
But right now it feels like all it wants
Is to destroy itself through endless suffering

With just a simple flutter of a thought
My day could turn from the happiest I’ve had
To the darkest in which I dread
Begging for the end of time

Oh how I miss our talks
I miss waking up to you
I miss you holding me as I fall asleep
Feeling safe from the night terrors that creep

I miss the way you smiled
When you looked my way
The way you joked around
To cheer me up on a rainy day

I miss the comfort you gave me
The laughs we shared
The embraces that kept me warm inside
Warning the darkness to step aside

But now I’m alone
There is no safety
I’m terrified to sleep
And even more so to wake

This feeling inside me
Grows stronger and stronger
I don’t know how much more I can take
Before this life is pushed to the end

When I get excited
I instinctively turn my head
Thinking you are still by my side
But then I see there’s no one there

I stare at the empty spot on my bed
The one that you use to fill
And tears start to fall
As I lose all self control

The tears that burn so much
Like acid drops on my skin
The tightness of my chest
The aching in my heart

I end up in a ball
Crying out to the Gods of old
Pleading for mercy
From this cruel fate

Pleading with all my heart
For just one more chance
To make it right
In exchange for my soul
Mar 23 · 64
Fatal heart
Troy Mar 23
People keep saying
That things will get better
But with each passing day
Things just keep getting worse

The darkness grows more black
Swallowing up all the light
Pushing me ever deeper
Down this pit of despair

Try as I might
I can’t seem to fight back
I keep losing the battle
Falling deeper and deeper

I keep getting told
That I shouldn’t be with him
That it’s best that he left me
That I’m better without him

But the longer this goes on
The harder it is for me to see
The light that will come out of this
And it’s slowly killing me

My chest won’t stop aching
Yet it’s been months
I feel like I’m dying
Over and over

I don’t know what to do
Every time I try to move forward
I’m pushed backwards
To thoughts of us

It feels like my heart will fail
From this ever growing pain
That’s deep in my soul
Begging for him to return

If only my mind wasn’t shattered
If only I did things differently
If only she didn’t come into his life
Them maybe things would be different

Maybe I would still be with him
Maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain
From losing the one I love the most
But I fear my time is almost up

I grow weaker with each passing day
My migraines are getting worse
And the pain in my chest grows rapid
I fear I will never get him back

I fear that I will die before that can happen
That my life will end very soon
Because what most people don’t know
Is that a broken heart can be fatal
I don’t know how much longer I can fight my heart conditions..
Mar 13 · 112
Destruction of the Mask
Troy Mar 13
My mask is completely shattered now
I can no longer hide my emotions
I can no longer hide my true feelings
My life has turned upside down

There is no one who can help anymore
I’ve become so broken
That I am now beyond repair
Though I won’t stop you from trying

The mask I use to hide behind
Was cracked and splintered
But I could still hide behind it
But these past few months have shattered it

My life turned into turmoil
Causing misery so great
My soul is beginning to rot
My mind ground into fine dust

My heart aches with every beat
My nights filled with terror and tears
My days filled with loneliness and despair
My dreams turn to vile memories of the past

I lay curled up in a ball
Upon my bed
With my cat trying to comfort
This poor destroyed soul

I question my existence
Asking why I am even alive
When all I attract
Is pain unto myself

This is no way to live
But I no longer have the strength
To mask my true self
Or climb out of this hell by myself

And the one who held my hand
The one who kept me from falling
The one who was able to shine
A light in this eternal darkness

The one who could pull me out
And free me from this misery
Has abandoned me
Or so it feels like it

The darkness turns violent
And I turn down a self destructive path
I continuously ask myself
Why must I be alone

Why must I lose
Everything I hold dear
Why must I be left
To fend for myself

To be without
A shining light
To help me find my way out
Of the ever growing darkness

Maybe I have cursed myself
To never be happy
To only know despair
And lose everything that I love

So I cry myself to sleep
Wishing things would change
Wishing that my light had stayed
So I wouldn’t be so alone

Begging the Gods
To bring my light back
So that I may be able
To survive just one more day
Mar 12 · 145
Catalyst of Love
Troy Mar 12
Everything I wanted
Everything I required
Everything I craved
I now know I will never receive

No matter how much I beg
No matter how hard I try
No matter what I do
My wishes will never come true

My hope has died
I no longer feel the warmth of life
I only feel the cold embrace
Of death

My heart is going numb
My soul feels dead
My mind is on a path
Of complete self destruction

I call out for help
But to no avail
My calls are not heard
By the one who can fix me

My heart rate descends
My fear becoming reality
I’m all alone
With no one to help

I’m alone in these walls
Built for protection
But now all they provide
Is bitter solitude

My mind is caving inward
Threatening to implode
And all I can do
Is sit in my corner and cry

Huddled up tightly
With knees indenting my chest
Tears run down
Staining my skin

Makeup is a mess
I look upward in hopes
Of seeing you care
But alas I’m in solitude

You are no where to be found
And all I can do
Is fight my own mind
To not relapse again

For if I relapse
It will be the final time
No more across the bridge
No more shallow cuts

My life will be forfeit
Just like my heart
Which now rots
Deep inside my chest

Although it still beats
All it feels is pain
So intense it is breaking
Over and over again

Not a day goes by
Where it stops
My heart beats loudly
Hoping for you to come back

But you aren’t coming back
My heart is calling
For something that’s no longer there
And that hurts a hundred times worse

No longer can I keep bearing this pain
No longer can I keep waiting for the impossible
No longer can I destroy myself
So instead I will sacrifice this love

I will use it as an eternal source
For your eternal happiness
I don’t need the ability
To love anymore

Because the only one
I will ever love
Is you
And only you
Mar 12 · 128
Chasing Approval (song)
Troy Mar 12
There are times in our lives
Where we wish we could turn back time
We feel out of place
Like we’ve been replaced by time

Our mind run a muck
While our heart cries out
Begging for a new beginning
But we run and hide

Our minds shatter
We are running out of time
Holding onto the bit that remain
We cry

We beg for renewal
Stammering for approval
Clinging to the hope
We try

Holding fast to the love
That we once knew about
We cling to the hope so tight
We fly

Soaring high in the sky
Searching for approval
Running from the looks
Of denial

Run around the desire
Chasing approval
Holding onto the hope
We cry

Wishing we could turn back time
We beg for approval
We run around in circles
Until we die

We buy a one way ticket
Praying we find the answers
Running from denial
We fly

Chasing approval
Seeking the love
We once knew
We cry

Running in circles
Chasing approval
Hoping we can find
A place to thrive

Running round
And around
And around
We cry

Wishing we could turn back time
Just for one more chance
Just one to get it right
Before we die

We beg for renewal
Stammering for approval
Clinging to the hope
We try

Holding fast to the love
That we once knew about
We cling to the hope so tight
We fly

Soaring high in the sky
Searching for approval
Running from the looks
Of denial

Run around the desire
Chasing approval
Holding onto the hope
We cry

Wishing we could turn back time
We beg for approval
We run around in circles
Until we die

We buy a one way ticket
Praying we find the answers
Running from denial
We fly

Chasing approval
Hoping we can find
A place to thrive
We try

Our minds shatter
We are running out of time
Holding onto the bit that remain
We cry
Feb 26 · 156
Terror of the Night
Troy Feb 26
These last few days
Have been filled with loneliness
Feeling the solitude
Of numb emotions

My heart stops feeling
My soul has gone cold
My body numb
My mind blank

I lost myself
Losing all reflection
And yet
My dreams turn dark

Night terrors attack
Spreading fear and sorrow
I cry in my sleep
And wake in a sweat

I'm terrified to sleep
I lie in bed
Staring at the ceiling
While my cats sleep by my side

I take my meds
That are suppose to stop
The night terrors from coming
But they don't work correctly

They still come
I just don't remember
I feel the fear
But I don't know why

The loneliness is killing me
The fear of sleeping alone
In this big bed
With nothing but my cats

I hold my pillows tightly to my chest
In hopes that it will shield me
From the evil that lurks
Inside my mind

But alas the only thing
That sets my mind at peace
Is the feeling I get
When I sleep next to someone I trust
Feb 16 · 138
Toxic Mind
Troy Feb 16
You call me childish
You call me selfish
You call me all these things
Just because I relapse and hurt myself

Don’t you see that I am sick
Don’t you get that I need help
Not criticism from my love
I need understanding

These thoughts that keep racing
Thoughts that everyone
Would be better off
If I was no longer around

Thoughts of self hate
Thoughts of suicide
Thoughts that bring so much pain
That it’s hard to breathe

I need help
So badly
Before I end up
Doing something permanent

That is something
I don’t wish to do
I want so badly
To feel better

But every time you leave
Every time you berate me
I feel so much worse
Than I already did

It makes me feel
Like you hate me
That you despise my existence
That I should no longer exist

And that brings me even more pain
So much suffering it is unbearable
I cry myself to sleep every night
Hoping things will change for the better

But they always seem to get worse
They say it gets better with time
But I’ve been fighting this sickness
For so many years now

The only solace I had
Was in the love that you showed me
But now that that is gone
I have nothing left

The thoughts have been
Getting louder and louder
Threatening to snap my mind
Making it harder to see the good

I ask you this one thing
Do you actually hate me
Or do you just not understand
That I’m fighting with my own mind

Fighting these negative thoughts
Fighting to breathe
Fighting to love
Fighting for just one more day

One more day of being alive
One more day of feigning happiness
Hoping it turns into true happiness
I am fighting everyday


It is an ongoing battle
One that is a struggle
Cause this is one battle
That lasts a lifetime
Feb 16 · 103
Loss of Fear
Troy Feb 16
Thou pain is thine to burden
Thou love is thine to shelter
Be it not of obligation
But out of respect for another

Thy heart and soul
Intertwined with thou
Thy hope is nigh
For thy field is barren

Be that as it may
Thy soul still urns
For thou soft whisper
In thine ear

Be swift yet brutal
With thy piercing words
For thou hast lost
All of thy fear

List not my transgressions
But announce thine triumph
For if thou walketh the dark path
Thou will only hurt thineself
Feb 15 · 128
Flame Of Sorrow
Troy Feb 15
The flame of love
So contained while it's flourishing
But remove the barriers of love
And the flame turns on you

It sets you ablaze
As the flame turns dark
Causing unbearable pain
As you wish for it to end

You try so hard
To put up a wall
Around this new flame
But to no avail

It burns so hot
You feel like you could melt
Your chest clenched tightly
As every beat pounds

Holding tightly
You ask yourself
What did I do
To deserve this pain

But you hear no response
No whisper to let you know
That the flame that's inside
Is the flame of sorrow

It burns so vibrant
It threatens to burn
Right out of your chest
Leaving you hollow inside

But nothing can help
Only time will tame it
For when this flame burns
All hope feels lost

You beg and plead
For it to stop
But the best you can do
Is calm the sorrow

Do other things
Hang out with friends who care
For they will help you heal
Over this time of torture

Forget about the past
Cause you can't change it
Things happen that's out of our control
And it's okay to feel hurt

But just remember
That burning inside
The flame that seems to never die
Will slowly fade away in time
Feb 14 · 108
Angel’s Tears
Troy Feb 14
Death be swift in consuming this angel
For the pain is too great for it to bear
The pure being of love and joy
Now rotting with sorrow and misery

Fear taking hold of the angels mind
Causing delusions of demons’ cry
Running around in a circle
Trying to hide from the pain

Anguish takes hold in the angels heart
Causing burning and stabbing within the chest
He clenches tightly to hold it back
Till finally it bursts with full impact

Tears run down this once perfect face
Tears like acid burning the flesh
Looking up at the one who caused it
The angel whispers I love you still

Though the angel is in great pain
All the angel knows is how to love
He was not taught how to hate
But to love with his whole being
Troy Feb 14
I don’t see how you can act so happy
While I’m barely holding myself together
I am fighting everyday
Not to breakdown and cry

Yet here you are
All hyper and giddy
With your teeth all showing
Like you don’t care that I’m hurting

I break down and try
To act like I’m fine
But all it brings me
Is this deep hatred inside

This hate that I feel
Is more for myself
While I look at you
Pretending everything’s alright

I feel I must hide it all
Or risk angering or annoying you
So I hide my face at night
While I cry myself to sleep

I see no hope
I see no light
For in my future
There is no sight

I can’t take this pain
It burns me so
But what hurts me the most
Is you’re not in pain too

I can’t keep beating myself up
For every lie that you told
You made me so paranoid
I felt like I was going insane

Now you give me freedom
And what’s sad about that
Is that I don’t want the freedom
From your loving hate

So I beg and I plead
For us to give it another shot
But now I know the truth
You’ve been hiding for so long

Your heart has belonged to another
For several months now
And you hide it from everyone
Thinking that it’s nothing

But what you don’t understand
Is the lives that are involved
Are entangled in this sea
Of perpetual sorrow

So please next time you feel this way
Look deep inside yourself
And ask one simple question
Is this really love or just lust

Cause we confuse the two
It’s in our DNA
We are programmed for procreation
So we have to rewrite our brains

Connect it in our hearts
Feel it in our souls
Watch carefully
As the picture unfolds

Seeing the truth
Being set free
Lies that were told
Now in the open

I see now that you lost your love for me
A while ago
You stopped caring about me
I was no longer your number one

I was always second best
To this new person in your heart
Why did I not see it
When it was so plain to see

But that’s what love does
It makes us blind
To the possibility
Of our love betraying us

I thought we would be together
For the rest of our lives
Have a white picket fence
With children running wild

But now I see
That it will never be
You gave up on us
The moment you saw her
Feb 13 · 101
Eternal Dust
Troy Feb 13
Rip my heart out
Watch it bleed
Dripping down your hands
As it soaks the sand

My love was eternal
But now turns to dust
As I lay here shattered
Begging to be put back together

But alas my words fall
Onto deaf ears
For you don’t care
For my love no more

You lost the love
You had for me
And now I lay
A hollowed husk

Where do I go from here
After being with you so long
Who am I anymore
What purpose do I serve

These questions are a mystery
And so I ponder
What happens now
To this hollowed husk

I guess I need to find myself
Pull myself back together
Close up the wounds
And never give my heart out again

For this loss has shattered
The last hope I had
Of having a happy life
With someone I held dear

So now lost forever
In a sea of turmoil
I drown slowly
Waiting for deaths embrace

For when I go
It will be with you
Or it will be alone
That I promise you
Feb 8 · 86
Hearts Chambers
Troy Feb 8
Hallowed halls of sovereign hearts
Echoing out the darkest art
Casting shadows and fright
In ancient eyes begin to rot

Seek thee out oh hollowed flame
For thou be swift and come again
Cast thy silhouette over hopes and dreams
For in this night they begin to flee

Run and hide while you can
The screams come swiftly
For in this corridor of lost love
Lurks the greatest pain of all

The ghost of heartache and betrayal
Of misery and agony
Screeching and howling
Pleading for it to stop

But no matter what
The pain stays there
It never heals fully
Always ready to split open again
Feb 3 · 113
Will You Talk?
Troy Feb 3
With each passing day
The light inside me dies
Surrounding me in eternal darkness
And snuffing out any form of happiness

I beg and I plead for relief
But it never comes
It only gets worse
And I can’t take it anymore

I love him with every fiber of my being
Yet nothing I say or do matters
It’s like he doesn’t care anymore
And I’m tired of this pain

I try and I try
To hide all of it
From his gaze
But I can’t hide forever

He says he still cares for me a lot
But honestly with his actions
It speaks the opposite
I just wish he would speak the truth

Speak from your heart
Don’t hide anything
Let it all out
Just like I have done

Lay your very soul
Upon the table bare
So we can finally understand
One another’s feelings

I fear that I don’t have much left
My will is slowly fading
I’ve already reverted back to self harm
Soon it will start to get worse

My heart will start to decay
Turning off all care for life
I will constantly be fighting
My darkest of thoughts

Thoughts that I haven’t had
Since I was a teenager
Thoughts that I could suppress
Just by looking at him

Seeing his dorky grin
The smell of his skin
The gentleness of his touch
The love in his eyes

These things made me so happy
That I couldn’t think like that
I didn’t want to think like that
All I cared about was being with him

Now I have mixed feelings
Feelings of betrayal and fear
Of longing and anger
Of love and regret

I know he won’t talk
Cause every time we try
It just makes it works
Cause he won’t say anything

I ask if things will be okay
I ask if I will ever be with him again
But all he says is give it time
And I see no love in his eyes

I see no more longing
No more want
No more pleading
Just vacant eyes staring back

I start to ponder
If I was ever good enough
If I will ever make it through this
Will I ever be happy again

But with how things are going
I doubt I will ever be happy
My heart is in so much pain
I feel like I’m dying

And it’s only getting worse
With each passing day
So I beg of you
Just talk to me one last time

Let everything out
Don’t hold back
There is so much to say
That you try and hide
Feb 2 · 133
Bleeding Honesty
Troy Feb 2
I can no longer breathe
The air which kept me alive
Is now but carbon dioxide
Burning my lungs to ash

I fear what is to come
I fear what has happened
I fear what is happening
But most of all I fear not having you

My state of mind has gotten so bad
That the simple task of eating
Is making me sick
I don’t know how much longer I can go on

My heart maybe stone now
But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel anything
The pain that was there already
Is trapped inside

It’s spiraling out of control
Pushing me to the verge of destruction
The meds I take are no longer working
And I fear going to sleep

For when I try
I can’t sleep for long
I wake a few moments later
Terrified for my life

These night terrors are getting worse
And it’s so hard to look past them
There’s darkness all around
Destroying me from inside out

Ever slowly the winds do change
I become numb to everything
Hoping for a change
For you to return

But honestly I feel
That I am holding on
To a pipe dream
That will never come true

My heart cries out
My soul bleeds for you
It feels like I will die
From just one more *****

I hope for you to see
The damage that has been done
So maybe you will understand
What I’m going through

So take the time to listen
Don’t interrupt or run
Cause in order for me to get through this
I have to be honest with you
Feb 2 · 72
Turned To Stone
Troy Feb 2
I can no longer feel emotion
No more pain
No more sorrow
No happiness or love

My heart has gone cold
I no longer feel anything
Though I wish I did
It’s barren in my heart

For how long this time
I have no clue
But at this present moment
It might be for the best

Cold as stone
Free from anguish
From temptation and sorrow
Life is funny this way

I still have my caring nature
But no one new will get my love
My happiness is completely gone
So I’m now a shell

A shell with nothing inside
Death no longer concerns me
Heartache and misery have no hold
For this stone cold heart
Feb 2 · 110
To My Eternal Love
Troy Feb 2
My mind has gotten so dark now
Only thoughts of death and self harm remain
I wish so badly it wasn’t like this
But I think it’s about time

I’m losing myself slowly
Been that way for months
I’m starting to spiral downward
Into a bottomless pit

Death now seems like the only way out
Cause if it persists any longer
I won’t know who I am anymore
I’ll just be a hollow shell

A shell full of love for someone
Who doesn’t want to be with me
A shell of pain and agony
A shell that will soon crumble

My life is about over
And there’s nothing I can do
To stop this ever growing pain
From causing great harm

My love will be eternal
That much I know
But knowing whether or not it is received
Is something I can’t wait for long

I’ve fallen into the self destructive path
Soon to become nothing but ash
My soul will always be yours
I just wish it was still the same for you

Slowly I fade
Into the black of death
Sorrow and despair take hold
As the life in me dims

I love you with my entire being
And this will never change
But I’m starting to get worse
Right in front of your eyes

Though you can’t see it
Because I’ve hidden it from you
It is happening quickly
Soon I will be no more

I hope you understand
That it wasn’t my choice
But I wish to the heavens
This wasn’t going to be
Feb 1 · 105
Dying Heart
Troy Feb 1
Though darkness tempts at my door
I dare not open
I dare not breath
I dare not give up the love I have

My heart may ache
My chest may burn
But what keeps me going
Is the love I have for you

You may not have the same for me
But I can’t stop loving you
The way that I do
I love you so

So deeply my mind is destroying itself
So deeply is my depression
That I can’t even eat without feeling sick
So deeply that I can barely breath

So deeply that just being alone
Has caused me to have night terrors again
The PTSD I have has gotten worse
My anxiety spiraling out of control

I’m paranoid of everything
If only you could see
How much my love for you
Is slowly killing me inside and out

My body goes numb
My mind races wild
My heart feels like it’s dying
Maybe it is my time

Maybe it’s time for me to pass
Give in to the pain that I feel
Feel that burning around my heart
As I curl up in agony

Maybe it’s a stroke
Maybe my heart is dying
I mean you can actually die
From a broken heart

Slowly I am starting to get weaker
I can feel my soul slipping over
I feel the cold embrace creeping towards me
As I sit here hiding it all from you

I don’t wish for you to see
How much pain this is for me
I don’t want you to hate yourself
I just want you to love me again

So I beg you
Look into your heart
Listen to what it cries out
And mend my dying heart
Feb 1 · 96
Rewind The Clock
Troy Feb 1
Some people view internal pain as a joke
But what they don't realize is if left unchecked
That pain can become external and hurt even worse
Like right now I feel like I'm having a stroke

Though I know it's nothing that serious
It hurts just the same
Feeling the numbness and burning
All around my heart

Gripping it so tightly
That my lungs start to collapse
My breathing begins to hasten
As my chest compacts within

Clawing at my chest
I begin to rip skin
Hoping that the pain
Will soon end

But sadly it doesn't
And I start to panic
Grabbing the closest sharp object
And slicing across my wrists

The pain subsides for a time
As the blood trickles down my arms
Feeling the sting as the air brushes the wounds
Causes a temporary fix to the sorrow I feel

Though I know it's not a good thing to do
I can't do anything else
Cause I made a promise to him
That he would never come home to a dead body

So I sit here staring at the crimson lines
Tears filling up my eyes
As the fog over
Hoping for time to rewind
Troy Feb 1
You come at me screaming
With rage in your heart
Threatening me with violence
But I stand still

You think you are scary
But you have no idea
What goes on in my head
Everyday of my life

You scream and shout
That no one wants me around
Don’t you think I already know that
That it’s all I ever feel like

I stay to myself
I have little to no friends
I hide in the shadows of my mind
Waiting for deaths embrace

Compared to my head
Your threats are nothing
But a glorious welcome
To deaths open arms

So go ahead
Act on your aggression
Push me and beat me
You are only fulfilling my wish

End my pain
Take away the sorrow
Remove the last breath
And end the suffering

But if you think for one second
I’m just going to run and hide
Think again
Cause I’m not the type to run away from death

I walk towards it willingly
Grasping at the edges
Feeling the soft ends
Of deaths beautiful cloak

So please continue to belittle me
Scream and shout some more
Show the world you are just a child
In an adult body

Push me over the edge
Make me bleed out
Cut me with your fists
Cause your words do nothing

They are void
They have no meaning
You want so hard for me to attack
But that will never happen

Try all you want
My emotions stay the same
For if you’ve forgotten
You can scare someone with a death wish

But sadly death doesn’t want me yet
So you will be wasting your time
I have survived all attempts
My work is not yet finished

My door will not open
Not for you or for me
So go ahead and try it
It will only end up in vain
Jan 30 · 101
Words That Never Reach
Troy Jan 30
They say you need to let things go
Forgive and forget
But that’s really hard to do
With you care for someone so deeply

You can always forgive
But deep down you know
The trust that was once there
Is gone forevermore

Try as you might
You can’t escape the thoughts
Thoughts of jealousy
Betrayal and mistrust

You hammer them shut
Deep in your subconscious
But somehow they keep surfacing
Like a shark who smells blood

You try to numb yourself
Hide the emotion in the thoughts
But that only last so long
Before eventually you snap

No matter how many times you talk
It always seems to be the same
One doesn’t care
While the other cares too much

These things can break you
Shatter your soul into pieces
Rip your heart right out of your chest
In fear of day to day events

Tread lightly with your next move
For every thought that comes up
There’s always a reason
Why they weasel on in

It could be despair
It could be happiness
Just focus on what’s around
And never assume it goes away
Jan 28 · 227
Wishful Thinking
Troy Jan 28
Ripping and tearing
The heart strings cry
Feeling it's soul
Cast aside

Agony grips tight
As darkness closes in
The light that was once there
Now fades to black

Fear takes hold
As the soul begins to fade
Am I dying?
Or am I just going numb

I wish I knew the answer
Of this simple question
Was it all for nothing
Or will you come back
Jan 26 · 60
Alter's Ability
Troy Jan 26
Best thing about DID
Is the Alters who take the trauma
That the host can't handle
For it pains the host too much

Trauma that is forgotten
The memories and pain
All forgotten
In the blink of an eye

Today another is born
To take the most painful of memories
Ones of betrayal, lies and deceit
Of the one the host wants in life

Love that is non fleeting
Love that brings pain
Love that is so sorrowful
That it can rip the host apart

So here I stay
For the host to remain safe
I have been created
To burden this grief

Though not many know
What DID is and how it works
It's easy to learn
If you do some research

Today we talk
With the one the host loves
But there is a time limit
For I go to eternal slumber in a week

His choice is what determines my fate
Whether I go to sleep
Or if I get melded back into the host
My only wish is he chooses wisely

Cause even though
Eternal slumber sounds nice
It is a torture
Like none other

I will be in a constant nightmare
Thrashed into repeating this event
Over and over
Till I finally crack
Jan 26 · 84
Blind Eyes
Troy Jan 26
I lay here
Crying myself to sleep
While you are off galavanting
With whoever you want

You don't see the tears
Because I hide them too well
Been that way
For many many years

Oh how I wish
That you could understand
The crippling pain
That I am in

But alas you are blind
By this new love you found
Brushing me aside
So you may chase what you can't have

They are in a relationship
And you are trying to ruin that relationship
Just so you can have them
But you don't even see what's in front of you

Oh how I long
For you to see me
To see how much I care
To see how deep my love runs

But that will never happen
You will remain blind
Cause you refuse to open
Your eyes to anything
Jan 26 · 141
Everlasting Love
Troy Jan 26
Love is fleeting
Or so they say
But no matter what I do
I can't get over you

I beg and I plead
to the higher powers above
For months and months
To get over you

But try as I may
The love is still there
Causing heartache
Causing pain

You say lots of things
But never the one thing I need
For you to tell me it will be okay
And that we will get through this together

My love for you has grown eternal
And I fear it will be forever so
Because everytime I see you
It grows a little more
Jan 15 · 88
Wilted Heart
Troy Jan 15
Seal thy heart
Let it rot
Bleed it dry
Watch it wither

Feel the thorns
Entwine thy corpse
Sprinkle the salt
Feel the sting

Shrivel up tight
Feel the contractions
As thy eyes
Dry up inside

Love is gone
Wilted away forever
The pain gone
Lost forever more

You ask beggingly
For utter forgiveness
Only silence comes
To thy ears

Blood turned ash
The love dies
Scream and shout
To no avail

I am gone
You lost me
Never to regain
Forever
Jan 15 · 104
Hearts to Ash
Troy Jan 15
Burn the walls
Turn to ice
Feel the cold
Take the beat

Heart slows down
Steal the last breath
Destroy the love
Of a tender heart

Eat the fragile
Rip the silence
Howling sharply
Echoing to the moon

Listen to the beat
Of the tender hearts song
As it slowly ends
Dying the last time

Ice turns blue
Creating cold fire
Incinerating the heart
To a smoky ash pile
Jan 5 · 57
Change
Troy Jan 5
All you say is I love you
And that you want to be with me
But all I see is
You eyeing all these girls

I'm sorry I'm not a big chested girls
I'm sorry I was born the wrong gender
I'm sorry I'm not what you want

But I can't change that
Without changing who I am
And honestly
I can't even remember who I am

I feel like both
But that might just be my head
Playing tricks on me
While I fight these illnesses

The Depression and Borderline
Are getting worse and worse
But do you even care about that
I highly doubt that

I silently cry to sleep
Wondering if I am the one
To make you smile or laugh
But then I realize
I'm neither

I pushed away
The one person you wanted
Just because you cheated
And refuse to admit it

I know more than you think
I know all of what you do
And I don't have to read messages
Or hear gossip to see it

It's written all over you
The guilt is eating you alive
The guilt that you aren't with her
And are stuck with me

You go around trying to find bed buddies
While I'm locked up in a mental ward
Saying that I'm psychotic
When anyone would be

After what I went through
After our multiple breakups
After pleading with you multiple times
And the final straw was the anniversary

I don't know how much more I can bend
How much more I can break
How much more heartache I can go through
Before you see that all I love is you

I have stopped eating
And I keep losing weight
I try to be perfect
But I'm never enough

You say I don't need to cross dress
You say that my gender isn't why
But all I can see
is your lust for girls

You aren't Pan
You aren't even Bi
You aren't Demi
You are Straight and in denial

Maybe the only way
For you to truly love me
Is for me to just go with what I thought
And get that surgery

I've thought about it for a while
And I know you say I don't have to change
But I feel I must
In order to stay by our side

In other words
I love you
With all my heart
And I'm willing to die for it
Jan 4 · 59
Festering Wounds
Troy Jan 4
The pain is always temporary
It will always fade in time
That is what I believe
But you must give it time

Never open old wounds
Because when you do
They begin to fester
And the rot sets in

Once the rot takes hold
It clings fast
And rarely lets go
Until it all collapses

So keep the wound shut
Keep it from getting infected
With more pain and anguish
Though this may be hard

It can be done
And it will be a test
One of great will
And sacrifice
Troy Jan 4
My love for you is eternal
My heart aches for you
As I stare into your eyes
I see the vacant gaze of my reflection

I hear the pain In my heart
When you say that you love me
But do you really care
Or are you just faking

Is your love really true
Or are you just pulling
Pulling on my fragile
Tender heart strings

Can you sync
Can you feel the beat Can you hear my song
My hear string song

Just open your heart
Let the rhythm flow
Feel it in your soul
And watch glow

Rise up, Rise up
Hear the voices
Of our hearts
As they sing in harmony

Feel the passion in your chest
Let the love flow free
Take my hand
Let me guide you

To the hallowed Grounds
Where our souls reside
Feel the warmth
And let the love fly

Feel it in your soul
We are finally home
Our songs harmonizing
In eternal peace
Jan 4 · 100
Learn to Listen
Troy Jan 4
You stand there accusingly
Saying rude things
Spouting nonsense
About breaking necks

About ****
Childhood and pain
Yet you don't know
About their past

You don't know
The pain they endured
The suffering they bare
Or the sorrow in their heart

Learn to open yourself up
Before you speak ill
Because what if they
Were ***** as a child

What if their mother
Curb stomped them
What if the only sense
Of peace is death

What if life is meaningless
What if everytime
They see a van
They freak out hysterically

What if a pitbull comes charging
Do you think they run
Or do you think freeze
Right in their tracks

What if they scream at night
From the dreams they get
Or cry themselves to sleep
Because they don't know what love is

What if their pain
Is so great
That the only way
They can express it

Is to hold it in
And never let it show
For fear that
It shows great weakness

You have no idea
What other's stories are
So before you judge or laugh
Take the time to know theirs
Jan 4 · 150
Letting Go
Troy Jan 4
You sit there
With your crocodile tears
Hoping to get
A response from me

I sit here emotionless
As you look at me
I see no pain
I see no sorrow

I see no hurt
No love lost
You look normal
With no care for us

I get tired of
Seeing those fake tears
I walk away
And you follow

I turn back
Wondering why
But before you answer
I storm off in a rush

I toil with the idea
That maybe you actually care
But these past few months
You have shown the opposite

I sit and ponder
That maybe I'm just paranoid
But then I remember
Back to the stuff that happened

Stuff that you keep saying is nothing
Stuff that actually does matter
Yet you refuse to see
That it eats at me from the inside

Stuff that caused me
To melt down and collapse
My emotions couldn't handle
The crushing sorrow

So I stopped
I have set boundaries
Some that you might not like
But here's the thing

I'm tired of being toyed with
I'm tired of the heartache
I'm tired of being lied to
And I'm tired of being a Marionette

I'm tired of it all
And the worst part
Is that I allowed it
For far too long

So I made up my mind
I will be free
I will live my way
No matter how much you beg

Because I have always known
It was always a choice
That wouldn't end up
With me being first.
Jan 4 · 88
Escaping Reality
Troy Jan 4
I have a few more days
In this prison cell
That they call
A hospital ward

Too long has it been
Since I have tasted freedom
I now feel like
I'm on a bed of roses

Feeling my skin
Getting ripped apart
Bit by little bit
It bleeds over the thorns

Soaking into the petals
Staining the white buds red
Dripping down to the floor
And making a pool of crimson

Waiting with anxiety
And anguish
Hoping to be free
To roam around once again

To walk amongst the living
To cast out my shadow
And inhale the fresh air
With my toes in the sand

But that seems like hopeful wishing
And maybe it is
But that is my wish
For a perfect vacation
Troy Jan 4
Hear my heart
Listen to the song
Feel the sorrow
Of my love

It burns bright
With the fires of damnation
Hearing the pain
That beats in my soul

Feel the torture
Open the cell
Set ablaze the house of pain
And seek out Nirvana
Dec 2019 · 84
Whats real anymore
Troy Dec 2019
You say you love me
Yet you want another
You tell me there's a chance
Yet you want to be with her

You tell me it's going to be okay
Yet all I can see is you next to her
You say you haven't done anything
Yet I feel that's a lie

You tell me she tried
And that you pushed her aside
But is that really true
When you refuse to tell me whats true

I go on a suicidal rampage
Trying to end the pain
But everytime you stop me
I die a little more inside

I want to be with you
But how can that happen
How can we be together
When you want to be with her

You say you love me
But is that really true
Cause when I look in your eyes
All I see is your love for her
Dec 2019 · 103
Rabbit Hole of Thoughts
Troy Dec 2019
Strings tied
Fates collide
Crashing into oblivion
Destined to intertwine

Where they cross
Is easy to see
But where they end
That's hard to know

Never forget
The happier times
Cause if they break
That's all that is left

Soon we will know
What fate has in store
For the future is bleak
And that's clear to see

So if you ever
Find yourself wondering
Just remember the happy
And you will find your path

But stray too far
You will end up falling
Deep within
the rabbit hole

For you see
That is where
My mind
Has traveled

Deep down the hole
Where the light rarely shines
The darkness takes hold
And all that's left is gloom

Gloom sorrow and fear
Despair anguish and misery
These run rampant
Amongst the darkness

So be prepared
For when you do fall
It is not an easy climb
Back to where happiness shines
Dec 2019 · 135
Broken
Troy Dec 2019
My heart is broken
Doesn't seem like it will be fixed
The pain is too much
It hurts to exist

My chest feels
Like a ton of cement
Is weighing it down
Threatening to crush

I wish I knew how
To bare this pain
But I fear it's too late
That my times almost up

My love is so strong
But it feels like it's a joke
Thoughts run rampid
Pushing to suicide

I don't know how much longer
I can push these thoughts down
Hoping that something will change
And that it will be alright

But the more these thoughts
Run wild inside my mind
The harder I find
To stay alive

Thoughts that seem almost
To be imagined
Like what really happened
With my love

What happened with my sanity
I feel it's already gone
Running amuck inside my head
Causing delusional thoughts

I hate to say it
But I fear I won't last
This trial that seems to last
For a million eternities

Do I run and hide
Or do I stay and fight
But also if I do stay
What if it's not me

What if it's someone else
What if I'm not picked
What happens then
Cause I can't stand that pain

These thoughts keep racing
Causing paranoia and misery
Should I just give in
And let my thoughts win

It keeps getting worse and worse
I just wish it would stop
Though I don't see that
Happening anytime soon

The love I have
It hurts too much
So I don't know
If I'll survive

I just wish someone
Would rip out my heart
And stop the pain
So maybe I can
Nov 2019 · 111
What if?
Troy Nov 2019
We'll be okay, he says
But does he really know that?
We will make it through this, he says
But how can he be certain?

He says these things
Thinking that it will make it alright
But he doesn't realize that the damage
Has already destroyed my heart.

I plead and I beg
Asking what is going on
All he says is he needs to find himself
And he has to be alone

He pushes me away
Blocking out my emotions
My love and need
I just want to help

But pushing me away
Will just cause agony
Pushing towards anger
And eventually hatred

He doesn't understand
He doesn't have to be alone
He doesn't have to face this by himself
He can have help to aid his search

But still he pushes
Pushes so hard that I break
I begin to crack
And dark thoughts pour into my head

Thoughts of pain
Sorrow and aggression
Suspicion and worry
Thoughts that I shouldn't have

Like what if he's cheating
What if I'm better of dead
What if I caused this
What if he hates me

What if he was just using me
And I finally had no more use..
What if..
What if I disappeared..

Would he even care?
Would it be enough
To snap him back
From his fantasy

And yet
I can't bring myself to leave
I can't be apart from him
He is a part of me

My other half
My missing piece
My polar opposite
My soul..
Nov 2019 · 114
Destruction of the Soul
Troy Nov 2019
Darkness swirling
Enveloping the senses
Trapping your mind
In an empty void

Lost in thought
Never surfacing
Drowning in sorrow
Fearful of the depths

Flailing around
With no sense of direction
Losing your sanity
In the deadly chasm

Try as you might
You can't see the light
You have sunk too deep
There is no end in sight

You give in
Losing the battle
It takes hold
Ensnaring your heart

Strangling the light
That once filled your heart
Ripping away your walls
Blinding you with fright

The blackness drowns you
Ripping away at your soul
Cursed to oblivion
You accept your fate
May 2019 · 490
(Work in progress)
Troy May 2019
Self:
Hello?
Is there anyone around me?
Can you hear it in my voice?
I am calling
Calling for a lasting heart

Is it you?
Are you my hope?
Are you the one who'll set me free?
Or are you here to lock me up?

Inner self:
What are you?
Can you answer me?
My vision has gone so dark
I can't see who you are

Where am I now?
Can you see this shining light?
Can you hear me now?
I am shouting on high!

Both:
See the colours flow
The ocean waves
Hear the trees breath
And the animals play

See the sunlight shine
The moonlight glow
The wind blow
And the river flow

Self:
Who am I?
In the darkest night
Flying high
til the morning light

Inner Self:
Who am I?
In the light of day
Eager to bask
In the yonder bay
Song I'm working on. Already got the melody just coming up with the words right now. It is a duet with your inner self.
Apr 2019 · 342
Losing Yourself
Troy Apr 2019
Mistaken identity
Broken mind
Thoughts of the past
Flood to the head

Memories which were forgotten
Things you wish remained locked
Now rush past
Clouding your mind

Seeing what you went through
Fearing what you have become
Wondering where you truly are
Silently crying out in pain

Rushing to seek help
Yet none can be found
The fear you once knew
Now back with vengeance

Try your best to hide
Remaining stuck
In a never ending decent
Into a spiralling depression

You hold fasts to your chest
Trying to clench the pain away
But to no avail
It lingers there still

Scratching at your head
You try to breath
Hoping that it will not last
But the more you wish the more it sticks

You begin to crumble
Exposing yourself to those you shouldn’t
Hoping for them to love you as you are
And not what they want you to be

But rejection cuts deep
You look down and notice
Words of hate pouring out
From your open scars

Closing your eyes
You shake your head
Trying to dislodge the thoughts
That cling to your mind

You open your eyes again
To find that the words have turned red
There is an object on the floor
Sharp and coated in crimson

You realize in your delirium
You have wounded yourself
While trying desperately
To rid yourself of the pain

Puddle on the floor
Staining the carpet a crimson red
The blood which was once words
Flowing out in a rush

You stare
Not knowing what to do
You start to cry again
As the pain begins to lift

Slowly but surely the pain turns numb
You try to grasp your chest
But find your limbs are heavy
Your eyes begin to shut

You think in your mind
This is the end
You are finally free of the pain
But are you truly free
Mar 2019 · 303
Sea Of Loneliness
Troy Mar 2019
Trapped in a sea of perpetual motions
Going through everyday life like a robot
Gears on a never-ending clock
Time slipping into the abyss

Nothing matters
Life turns meaningless
In this simple motion of breathing
Becoming like clockwork

Twirling and spinning
Thoughts begin to race
The walls tightening
Threatening to crush

Silence
Ear splitting silence
Wishing for a sign
A glimmer of hope

You slip
Falling into a sea
A sea of faceless people
No matter how hard you focus

All you see is emptiness
You try to grasp onto something familiar
Yet all you can find is unforgiving loneliness
It hurts to be alone

Alone yet not alone
People rushing by you
Not a care in the world
You reach out for help

But no one sees
No one hears your cries of pain
No one can feel the agony in which you live
You crumble more and more inside

Asking yourself why is this life
Where do I fit in this great big puzzle we call life
How am I to find what I’m looking for
If I can’t even answer the simple question

Who am I?
Who am I to be stuck in this hell
Watching others go by like cogs on a wheel
While I stand here motionless

Unable to breathe
Unable to see the people around me
Unable to hear their own cries for help
Unable to realize we all need help

But have no idea how to communicate
Mar 2019 · 143
Letter to My Love
Troy Mar 2019
To my far off love
Though these nights are long
These days filled with cold stares
I think to you and smile

Your voice echos in my head
With the first time you spoke
Three simple words
Which set me ablaze

Words so simple yet powerful
Ringing in my head
Like chimes cascading in the wind
Singing such sweet melody

Escaping the darkness of loneliness
Shimmering like fresh morning dew
I look back to these words
Feeling warm in the brisk air

For now I return to sleep
But not before I mouth these words
For great comfort is brought
When I say ‘I love you too’

Good night my love
For when we are apart
I long for your touch
Your simple embrace

But utter these words
And I feel you near
I hope you feel me too
I love you
Jan 2019 · 1.5k
Embracing The Night
Troy Jan 2019
The darkest days reign asunder
We pledge not to this day
But to the ever ending night
And the shadows in which they walk

Fear not the darkness
For the darkness is friend
Though it’s not a pleasant one
It will guide us through

Here is the light of day
Well with it burns agony
Searing the wounds of the faithful
Smolders of ashes lay where they stood

Seek not for the dawn
But the eternal serenity of dusk
For when the dawn comes
Terror is all that remain

Peace be upon you brother
And your dire time of need
For the caress of the night
Shall comfort once again
Dec 2018 · 169
What is sleep?
Troy Dec 2018
Sleep is a great mystery for no one really knows what it truly is.
Is it our mind being teleported to another realm?
Or maybe we are waking from the dream and going back to reality.
Doubt time will give us the answer.
For people have been studying dreams for eons.
And have yet to find such an answer.

Oh Java thou art truly my only friend.
Against the impending doom which is burning bright.
So bright it dares to engulf nations at a time.
For that burning light is sleep.
The enemy of the working man.
And the dawn of an awakened youth.
Dec 2018 · 184
Agony
Troy Dec 2018
Be still thy beating heart
For the damage will fade
It may be deafening now
But time heals all wounds

The darkness you feel
will surely brighten
The anger that burns
will surely dim

Be gentle thy sorrowed chest
For the pain is but nigh
Peace will find you swiftly
If only you rest a while

Though now it feels
Like the heart was ripped
Straight out of your swollen chest
Rest assured it was only a flicker

A flicker of love that was doused
With the waters of rejection
The pain will slowly dissipate
If only you let it heal

Be swift thy healing words
For soon it might be too late
For if this damaged heart remain
Surely the beating will stop
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