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Troy Apr 2
Mistaken identity
Broken mind
Thoughts of the past
Flood to the head

Memories which were forgotten
Things you wish remained locked
Now rush past
Clouding your mind

Seeing what you went through
Fearing what you have become
Wondering where you truly are
Silently crying out in pain

Rushing to seek help
Yet none can be found
The fear you once knew
Now back with vengeance

Try your best to hide
Remaining stuck
In a never ending decent
Into a spiralling depression

You hold fasts to your chest
Trying to clench the pain away
But to no avail
It lingers there still

Scratching at your head
You try to breath
Hoping that it will not last
But the more you wish the more it sticks

You begin to crumble
Exposing yourself to those you shouldn’t
Hoping for them to love you as you are
And not what they want you to be

But rejection cuts deep
You look down and notice
Words of hate pouring out
From your open scars

Closing your eyes
You shake your head
Trying to dislodge the thoughts
That cling to your mind

You open your eyes again
To find that the words have turned red
There is an object on the floor
Sharp and coated in crimson

You realize in your delirium
You have wounded yourself
While trying desperately
To rid yourself of the pain

Puddle on the floor
Staining the carpet a crimson red
The blood which was once words
Flowing out in a rush

You stare
Not knowing what to do
You start to cry again
As the pain begins to lift

Slowly but surely the pain turns numb
You try to grasp your chest
But find your limbs are heavy
Your eyes begin to shut

You think in your mind
This is the end
You are finally free of the pain
But are you truly free
Troy Mar 22
Trapped in a sea of perpetual motions
Going through everyday life like a robot
Gears on a never-ending clock
Time slipping into the abyss

Nothing matters
Life turns meaningless
In this simple motion of breathing
Becoming like clockwork

Twirling and spinning
Thoughts begin to race
The walls tightening
Threatening to crush

Ear splitting silence
Wishing for a sign
A glimmer of hope

You slip
Falling into a sea
A sea of faceless people
No matter how hard you focus

All you see is emptiness
You try to grasp onto something familiar
Yet all you can find is unforgiving loneliness
It hurts to be alone

Alone yet not alone
People rushing by you
Not a care in the world
You reach out for help

But no one sees
No one hears your cries of pain
No one can feel the agony in which you live
You crumble more and more inside

Asking yourself why is this life
Where do I fit in this great big puzzle we call life
How am I to find what I’m looking for
If I can’t even answer the simple question

Who am I?
Who am I to be stuck in this ****
Watching others go by like cogs on a wheel
While I stand here motionless

Unable to breathe
Unable to see the people around me
Unable to hear their own cries for help
Unable to realize we all need help

But have no idea how to communicate
Troy Mar 12
To my far off love
Though these nights are long
These days filled with cold stares
I think to you and smile

Your voice echos in my head
With the first time you spoke
Three simple words
Which set me ablaze

Words so simple yet powerful
Ringing in my head
Like chimes cascading in the wind
Singing such sweet melody

Escaping the darkness of loneliness
Shimmering like fresh morning dew
I look back to these words
Feeling warm in the brisk air

For now I return to sleep
But not before I mouth these words
For great comfort is brought
When I say ‘I love you too’

Good night my love
For when we are apart
I long for your touch
Your simple embrace

But utter these words
And I feel you near
I hope you feel me too
I love you
Troy Jan 4
The darkest days reign asunder
We pledge not to this day
But to the ever ending night
And the shadows in which they walk

Fear not the darkness
For the darkness is friend
No it’s not a pleasant one
It will guide us through

Here is the light of day
Well with it burns agony
Searing the wounds of the faithful
Smoulders of ashes lay where they stood

Seek not for the dawn
But the eternal serenity of dusk
For when the dawn comes
Terror is all that remain

Peace be upon you brother
And your dire time of need
For the caress of the night
Shall comfort once again
Troy Dec 2018
Sleep is a great mystery for no one really knows what it truly is.
Is it our mind being teleported to another realm?
Or maybe we are waking from the dream and going back to reality.
Doubt time will give us the answer.
For people have been studying dreams for eons.
And have yet to find such an answer.

Oh Java thou art truly my only friend.
Against the impending doom which is burning bright.
So bright it dares to engulf nations at a time.
For that burning light is sleep.
The enemy of the working man.
And the dawn of an awakened youth.
Troy Dec 2018
Be still thy beating heart
For the damage will fade
It may be deafening now
But time heals all wounds

The darkness you feel
will surely brighten
The anger that burns
will surely dim

Be gentle thy sorrowed chest
For the pain is but nigh
Peace will find you swiftly
If only you rest a while

Though now it feels
Like the heart was ripped
Straight out of your swollen chest
Rest assured it was only a flicker

A flicker of love that was doused
With the waters of rejection
The pain will slowly dissipate
If only you let it heal

Be swift thy healing words
For soon it might be too late
For if this damaged heart remain
Surely the beating will stop
Troy Nov 2018
You say no one cares
You say that there's no one who wants you
No one that needs you around
But I have to ask

Are you blind?
Did you not see my gaze?
Did you not feel my touch?
Did you not sense my feelings?

Did I not voice them to you?
Did you not hear my cry?
Did you not savor my speech?
Am I invisible?

I ask you simply
Am I not enough?
Should I wait in the shadows?
For your glancing touch?

Should I hide and wait?
For something that may never be?
Should I run for the hills?
Never to be seen again?

Why can you not see?
That I was there all along.
Wanting your touch.
Wanting your gaze.

You run around
Talking to all
But here I sit waiting
For you to finally see

See my heart
Laying upon this platter
Beating so softly
Until no more
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