she enjoys the smell of fresh sheets
and pillow cases at night

right after her shower,
but in between that brief moment

of sleep
and
insomnia

being so tired but
unable
to fall asleep

because she has a monster
hibernating under her blankets,
slumbering in her head

insomnia was never

friendly

insomnia was always

unkind

driving her mind
to the brink of

insanity

overwhelmed
and worried
with her own

words

slowly and
with maximum effort
she drifted

off to her own
dreamland
where her worries
lifted and

disappeared

& even though you said
You'll always love me

& even though our hands
No longer grasp each others

& even though your lips
No longer caress my neck

I still find myself
Searching for your face

I still find myself
Listening for your laugh

While resting on your side of the bed

With Primroses planted
In the palm of my hands

& Tulips *******
In my mess of tangled hair

I ask my mind
If it would do me some kindness

& forget about you
With your stained tee shirts
& kind eyes

& if it would just
Omit all the sweet words
That danced from your lips
& swam in my head

Only than would my heart heal

Only than would I remember to move on

With dirt crusted onto
The bottom of my feet
I dance in our garden

& slowly pick the weeds
From my heart

Even though I remember you

with clarity