Life got in the way again
Denying me everything I hoped and dreamed for

Taking away everything that I would have worked so hard for

My dream is crushed
And my heart vanished without a trace

My minds spinning it can't find direction
My purpose lost in the torment of silence

I'm not ready for her to pass
Please I beg of you take me instead of her
I would do anything for that
Please

Truth is I don't want you to die, I want you to believe that you will make it through this
I want you to believe that you will get a future
But it seems like you aren't able to see it

I'm more unstable then I thought, so I sit here with a blade pressed against my throat ready to go out because I need you

I don't want to have to say goodbye to them

Tony
Jeremiah
Clifton
Alonso
Denver
Trevor


Amortentia
Amethyst
Sierra
Elena
Caroline
Camile

I didn't suffer all this time for this not to come to be and neither did you

God, if you truly exist
If you are all loving and caring then you will not let this happen

I'd give my life so she could live a happy life
But that's too much ask for isn't it

Just when I was starting to regain hope again you crush it and beat it to obliteration

I don't even know if she is still alive, I'm done
Now the time ticks as cold steel rests against my flesh
Ready the snuff out the light
The moment I receive the words I have been dreading

So if this is the end
Goodbye
Idk what to do anymore
I think I'm done...
She wrote as gracefully as she does, a poetic beauty and marvel to the world

I'm thankful for that, now I'll let it in to take over because after today there will be nothing left of me

The end of a hopeless poet and the beginning of something else
Goodbye
Stretching
Pulling
Embedded in my skin is the porcelain
Completely obscuring my face
My mask, my shell

A crack appeared
In one moment the scar is getting bigger
Now its spreading
The porcelain creaks and falls apart as I move my body

Crimson liquid dripping down the seems
Flowing down the two pits of black that lead to my soul
The white is fading and becoming grey
Darkening

I'm still moving, unperturbed by the fluids movements
Minuscule pieces are now dropping
Along with drops of blood staining the carpet

Surrounding me, shifting spiders,
Extending centipedes, roaches flying from the wall, and screeching maggots bathing in redness

Madness afflicts my heart, the beat becomes irregular
Mind flooded with dopamine
Emotional Masochistic tendencies
Emerge

The mirror reveals the blood torn masquerade
I touch it
Instantly falls apart
The porcelain utterly destroyed
Underneath a bloodied face, a breeding ground of worms beneath the surface

Look into my eyes, look beyond the horrors you see, the endless depths of the abyss
Realize I am the coming of the storm

And when the time comes
The maelstrom that collapses your lungs and drowns you for eternity

My...
Porcelain mask
Is broken
I hope you're ready
To face the consequences
~
most cut
others pop pills
a few choke out
but I...
I write

this is my way of handling it
Hearts can be round or sharp,
long or fat,
whole or broken.
Broken hearts happen before whole hearts.
Hearts can be thin or heavy,
big or small,
light or black.
Hearts are all light to begin with.

Only you can control them.
Ugh, my random shitty writing...
  22h Tony Cortez
Logan D
Ah, her
I'll spare her name for the sake of mystery
But this feeling that is stirred up is quite real
I'm pretty shook, I can't deal

Where do I start?
Her eyes, of course
Eyes as calming as the ocean tides
They pull at mine, drawing me in
Making me want to be by her side
Dark brown, making me melt like brownies

Hair like fire
Beautifully gleaming in the sunset
Wavy curls, waving at my heart
Capturing me in a trance
Oh, she makes me want to dance

That smile
More beautiful than the Nile
Her laugh is a soothing melody
Kissing her lips seems to be my remedy

Oh how I wish I could with her
To show her how much she is worth
Worth more than what she's been told
By both young and old
Worth more than how men look at her

She is a precious keepsake
A woman to cherish
One to take to the lake
And listen to her favorite songs

Her whole being is a song
A sweet melody that lifts my spirits
All day long
her.
...mushy stuff
Dad
you drank your body weight
in alcohol

I'm talking to a bottle of whiskey

~h.m
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