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Kelsey Mar 19
pain can be internal
doesn’t always show
doesn’t always speak nor listen
how do you numb the pain, one might ask
do you drink a whole bottle of alcohol
or snort something in your system?
how do you numb the pain?
do you blend yourself with the crowd?
camouflaging your hurt with your happiness
do you forget the trauma you’ve been through
the things you saw
heard
as a child, which damaged your love veins?
is that the reason why you don’t talk
why you put a needle in your vein, so you don’t have to admit  you’re damaged
pain can be internal
inside your heart, soul
questioning your self worth and if your existence could make this world better
or worse
stereotype with no story
judged as soon as you come through the door
not giving the chance to express your hurt nor heart
and why you act the way you do
not giving the chance to tell your story and justify your wrongs
knowing they’re wrongs but having no clue what’s the right
so, how do you numb the pain?
do you sit on somebody’s couch
spilling your guts out?
or do you bottle your feelings inside
walking around with a mug face all day
not able to control it
telling yourself you’re worth it
but not believing it one bit
so, please tell me
as I’m clueless myself
how do you numb the pain?
….
"I just ignore it."
Kelsey Mar 16
There’s a fence, an invisible fence
There’s a routine that I go through before coming back to you
I get dressed, put hair in ponytail
Pull out suitcase, throw everything I own in there
You sit on the bed, that’s rough on my back, and watch me like how you watch a rerun episode on your favorite tv show
I curse you out, telling you the same stuff I told you a month ago
I call a LYFT to pick me up, telling you won’t ever meet another special person like me ever again
Like always, you smirk and watch me leave out the house
I walk to the car with my one suitcase, with tears in my eyes and anger on my mind
As I open the door in the backseat, I realize the invisible fence hasn’t opened yet
The fence seems to get taller, harder to pull open for me to escape
I stand there for a moment, tears running down my cheeks...I then close the door, picking up my suitcase
Telling the LYFT driver I’ve changed my mind, for the fifth time
I turn back around, my mind telling me STOP but my legs disobeying
I get to the top of the stairs and there’s you...a cigarette in your mouth, wife-beater on and with your beautiful eyes shining in the light
I walk up to you
You kiss me on my cheek, walking me back to our home
Whispering in my ear, “Welcome back,”
why can't I ever leave him?
Kelsey Jan 12
18
January 11th is my birthday
and now that I’m eighteen, I’m getting ready to enter into the adult world  
I’m scared shitless and even a little bit of sad
But i just know that whatever life decides to throw at me, I’ll be ready and not back down
So, who’s ever born in January(specially January 11th) happy birthday my fellow Capricorn♑️
Kelsey Jan 1
happy new year to anyone who reads this
****, we’ve come a long way, huh?
even though i might not know you, still proud of you
people go through **** and for that, **** are appreciated a little bit more
so, if you’re going through something
just know, ***** happening for a reason
everything’s going to be okay
and i know that’s  easy to say but trust, whatever you’re going through is part of your “journey”
your story
nothing is given to you what you can’t handle
so, have a clear mindset for 2020
be ready to succeed in 2020
and to be whatever and do whatever the ******* want in 2020
i might not know you but i love you
and grateful that you’re here to see 2020
salute to you❤️
Kelsey Feb 2019
The boys I fell for saw girls as their toy
As if they walked into a store and saw me on the shelf
Picked me up and bought me, thinking they owned me
But they didn't, getting upset when reminded
And that's when I knew none of them deserved me
You don't own me, never did and never will
Kelsey Aug 2018
The devil in the house
As he walks up and down the hallways
The evilness is seen in his eyes as he digs through the refrigerator
And sit on the couch to watch Tv
The devil in the house is disguised as a human being
When friends and family come over, he's a whole different person
He smiles in their faces and shake their hand and introduce himself
The devil in the house is the abuser of someone who I love dearly
And I seem to be hushed if told the truth
His stare will make your skin crawl as his voice echos in the empty hallways
His voice is loud and frighten, telling yourself you'll be the hero one day
But, the day you become the hero seems not to come or seems to be pushed back as fear swallows you
The devil feeding off the flesh of an innocent woman
The bruises, the scratches, the yelling, the crying can only paint a picture on what happens behind that bedroom door

— The End —