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Kee 6d
even if i did fall in love with you
it was nothing that you did
to make me feel the way i did about you
you weren't special
you didn't make my stomach stir with butterflies
and yet
i still
loved you
and i hate to say it
because it was never planned
i didn't want it
and yet i
still
loved you
and its a feeling
a feeling
i cant make go away
i've thought about it for months
hating the idea that it could be possible
that i loved you
in ways you didn't deserve
in ways i shouldnt have given to you
but i did
because ive always been
a hopeless romantic
and i don't know why
i thought i could've changed that
to avoid it happening with you
and yet
i still
loved you
Kee Aug 2021
No longer with the monster I once called my lover
But him being a monster doesn't seem right either
But I can't help it
He put me through hell and back
I can't forget that sometimes there were moments of pure bliss
they just didn't last
Now
what is anyone supposed to do with that information?
All it tells you is that I'm broken
it feels like the trauma bond will never go away
I don't want to be tied to your soul anymore
so how do I let you go?
why am I still in love?
Kee Dec 2019
If I don’t let it out soon
All my troubles and worries
All my trials and tribulations
If I can’t open up my mouth soon
I will wither
I will shrivel up like a beautiful rose
That’s been depleted of its nutrients
I shed my last tear and haven’t watered myself since
If I don’t let it out soon
I will be still addicted to something
That isn’t even good for me
Addicted to someone
That isn’t even good for me
But is everything I could ever need
But if that’s so
Then why am I still withering?
If I can’t open my mouth soon
I will never be able to change
“I just want happiness”
Is all I have to say
How can I have that when I won’t let myself
Trapping myself in this box
Was not intended
Now I’m too comfortable
In a place I don’t even want
Bounded
Cursed
Stuck
All things that I feel every second of the day
So
If I don’t let it out soon
I’m going to be just like you
And that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person
But I can’t see myself being happy like this anymore
I love you so much
I never would’ve thought leaving you would be the only way to break free
From everything holding me back
So
If I can’t open my mouth soon
I’ll just be the next stereotypical black female
And I can’t have that
  Nov 2019 Kee
Joyce Joadiyce
I'm an alien up from where
I came to Earth to look there
From my ufo left took off the ground
They left me Here Here I am
Kee Jun 2019
They won’t always make you smile
A lot of the times they’ll make you cry
You’ll hate everything about them
Until there’s nothing left of them for you to want to look at
You despise them
Until you remember that
Nothing had never been in their favor
But neither had yours
Love had not bloomed for them in the way they wanted
And it wilted quickly
Except it didn’t come back again next spring
A love unrequited I suppose
Nonetheless it hurt
Family that couldn’t be family
Friends that could never be kind
But just diggers instead
Users instead
Liars instead
Drug addicts instead
Pretending to live instead
Grasping onto dear life itself
That’s what had been pounded into them
The realization that
No matter what
It just wasn’t enough
So this hurt, fragile being
Could only do one last thing
Be numb
To not feel anything
Instead of everything
To make it all go away
That person had given up any chances of ever being whole
So
You can’t always hold a grudge over someone who’s had too many scars
To even want to make anything right in this world anymore
You can’t blame them for being hurt
For wanting to end it
But you can
Tell them it’s selfish
That you love them
That drugs aren’t the only ones who care about them
And someone,
You,
want to see them smile again
Kee Apr 2019
As the violinist brushes the bow against the instrument
She takes in a deep breath
She takes in those painful memories
And she exhales
They’re gone
Hitting her in flashes
She has to overcome the darkness that stands in the way of her light
She is torn
Because even if she wants to leave her past
She still holds some of those memories clutched tight to her thumping heart
Even the ones that haunt her the most
You see
She is split down the middle
Her mind is saying go
But her body won’t even tilt
She’s frozen stuck in a life
That she had wept about in nightmares
She was strong
But she couldn’t wrap her mind around living like this anymore
She got the message when her eyes would no longer shine
And she had to force a smile on to her face
She just wanted to be normal again
She wanted her violin to bring her joy
Once more
It had been her only sanctuary
The only place she called home
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