What if 

his bashful glances 
and awkward comments 

mean something?

What if

he knew about the knots 
in my stomach

and the blood 
rushing to my cheeks 

about the sleepless nights 

the love I had for him?

What if

My passion for him
 proves me wrong in my choice

and I can’t fight the feelings of 
being alive?

What if
My fantasies are fatal?

What if one more second 
of indulging in these “what ifs”

Drown our beautiful reality?

What if
my bashful glances
and awkward comments
prove my weakness?

What if
he knows about the knots and blushing
and my pride stands in the way of accepting
He never loved me,
He never would have.

What if
this is hurting you?

Because our beautiful reality
Outshines all these fantasies
they must be tinted rose-color for a reason

The truth is

I am weak
I need His hand
to unmask the imposters

And the truth is

I’m sorry.

Hurting you 
would be worse than drowning,
because I love you
and your laughing green eyes
speak truth to me
they bring me back
to our beautiful reality

And you, My Love, you outshine them all.

When they started to crumble,
That’s when I stumbled.

When they began to dissolve
Along with issues unresolved

That’s when my thoughts went wild
My mind put you on trial

Aggressively aiming accusations
At your so called ‘revelations’

'How could you?!"

We said at the same time
As you steadily place your hand in mine

Revealing a word etched on the palm
I am enveloped by a sense of calm

As I read my name

Your smiles are my sunsets

Breathtaking,
impossible to capture,
yet fondly pursued

I can’t risk blinking
For fear I’d miss a moment
of this captivating view

And every evening,
when the sky turns pink
and dark shades of blue,

I will remind myself
That You;

Your smiles,

are my sunsets.

Suddenly, He’s here
The moment’s arrived
I can see that my sight
Blinded by tears
Is sorely deprived
Of sensitivity to light