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Katinka Feb 2019
I can feel it in my chest
my heart is longing for you
You are wandering through my head
And I just can't stop thinking about you

You want me to obey
You want me to listen
You want me to be yours

But are you mine ?
You have to give to take
As the saying goes
there's no rainbow without the rain

And my heart is aching
I feel pain
And sadness
I want to run
As far as my brown eyes can see

Away from you
Because you absorb me
And I wonder
Who am I
without you

I am bad at love
Love too little
Or too much

I always make the same mistakes
I wonder
Are you worth the pain
Am I worth the pain
Katinka Jan 2019
I am done being run over
I am done being pushed around
done being oppressed
done being invisible

I won´t accept rudeness anymore
I won´t accept no evilness

And while everyone says yes
I am here to scream no

no to every man that approaches me
no to people that don´t appreciate me
no to all the bad in the world

I say no
and I mean it

This is my time to shine
and I won´t be invisible no more
I will rise
I will not be quiet
and scream no into this world
that only knows yes
  Nov 2018 Katinka
Alex B
Someone stole my color
And threw it to the wind
Scattered like ashes
I don’t know if I’ll ever find it

Someone stole my color
From the face I know so well
I saw it in the cotton candy clouds
And the teal ocean swell

Someone stole my color
I guess that’s where it went
The world looks so much brighter
Like something heaven-sent

Someone stole my color
And that’s what no one knows
Depression isn’t black
It’s the color of a rose

It’s the light orange in a sunset
And the yellow of a peach
Light blue, my favorite color
So simply out of reach

Purple like my favorite eyeshadow
No, lavender, I’d guess you’d say
And my favorite music artist
Although he has passed away

Someone stole my color
Now everything’s too bright
I suppose sometimes darkness
Isn’t the opposite of light

Someone stole my color
So I’ll wear grey and black
As if in mourning
Until I get it back
  Nov 2018 Katinka
Ariana Bagley
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.
Katinka Nov 2018
when something tragic happens
people are there for us
they go with us through the break up
through death and pain
but with depression it is diffrent

because it doesn´t end
but people get sick of hearing
you are not fine

they want to see you recover
but I can´t
Depression is not a sickness you can get over

It follows you around
like a cloud blocking the sun
and now and then rain will pour down
and it will all come crashing in

It´s the never ending feeling of pain
of panic
of nothing

and then I feel bad
and I´ll self-pity myself
and now I feel so stupid
because there are people
people who have it worse

and here I am
drowning in self-pitiness

but that is exactly what depression feels like

It feels like I am drowning
while everyone else is breathing just fine

It feels like the fear you have when you miss a step
but you never reach the ground
so the fear won´t go away

It feels like ropes tie you down
you can not move
can not stand

I can not do anything
do anything right

and all I want is this to end
but the only solution seems so hard to procide
not even that, I can do

I am not doing good
but no one wants to hear about it
because it has been to long
without improvment
so I´ll just fake it
maybe if I tell myself long enough
I am fine
I will be
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