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  Oct 2016 Kaiana Mapp
Arlo Disarray
there is another world
we're often unaware exits
and the only time
our minds will open up
and let us see
is when we're dreaming

it consists of rules
and plans
we're unfamiliar with

the customs both confuse us
and make us want for more

there are parallel selves
to every one of us living there
and each time we visit,
we discover something more

the places that I've seen
in all my dreams
are filled with fragments
of universes
multiplied so many times
I cannot count them

but there are bits of beauty I steal from every one of them
and I take what I can get
leftover from you
when your dreams aren't remembered
I dunno. I'm drunk.
  Jul 2016 Kaiana Mapp
Florence Maude
Soft touches,
Little glances,
Small talk,
Taking chances.

Brighter colors,
Fuller skies,
Bigger smiles,
No painful cries,

Something new,
A new begining,
Maybe you'll lose,
Or end up winning.

No one knows,
It's only a start,
A chance that can save,
Or break your heart.
  Feb 2016 Kaiana Mapp
Denxai Mcmillon
When I see you.
When I'm within three feet of you.
I clam up.
I shut down.
All I want to do is cry and apologize.
All I want is to tell you I'm sorry
Followed by many "I love you"'s

When I'm within two feet of you
I'm overcome by the strong desire
To reach out
To crayfish
To beg for your embrace
To plead

When I'm within a foot of you
My flight or fight response activates.
I'm not sure whether to try and touch you
Or to flee
My body locks up and I stammer.

When I touch you.
I crumble into dust.
The floor opens up
And I fall into dismay.

When I touch you
I crumble into dust
The floor opens up
And I fall into dismay.

When I touch you.
I crumble into dust
My mouth opens up.
And I whisper to myself.
It's all my fault that things are this way.
  Jan 2016 Kaiana Mapp
Arlo Disarray
There was a time, once, when I was proud. When I would let my voice run loud. I had no ounce of shame , and I would run against the crowd.

And there was a time when I was loved. Always crowded, grabbed, and hugged. Everybody knew my name, and I was highly spoken of.

There was a day when I was kind. When I kept my heart less confined. But I'll never be the same. I can't simply press rewind.

Now I'm just a ***** drunk.
A pathetic waste of space.
Never getting what I want.
Always slapped across the face.
I have nothing left to give.
I have no more love to gain.
I have no great life to live.
Just an ugly world of pain.
My life. My words.
  Jan 2016 Kaiana Mapp
Nat Lipstadt

a flawless poem
if such there were,
will always be,
the next one

my poor soul,
my rag tag heart,
has no censor,
so careless, reckless,
as if words were but
frivolous treasures,
easy get, easy spent

if only,
how I wish,
could harvest my best,
and with golden cutlery,
the single flawless poem
that I know is in my possess

lay down this hand, so weary,
from cupping tears,
be satisfied at long last,
so much so,
that when my casket lowered,
two hands in repose companioned,
clutching his best,
to ease the rest,
a papered poem record to join his whited ash,
his flawless poem,

his very best

*now eternal,
at long last
first published here
Jan 13, 2014
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