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Bella Sep 4
She told me it was her heart

Something was wrong with it

That she needed to see the doctor.

She said that everything would be okay

And not to worry.

She’s really sick now

She can barely breathe

I tell her not to give up

To keep fighting

Keep pushing.

To look death in the eye and tell him to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.

She laughs

And tells me that when it’s her time, she’ll know

She thinks it’s soon

I’m not ready.
Bella Sep 4
Death takes the beautiful ones

The ones with the purest souls

The ones who aren’t quite done living

The ones who didn’t deserve it

Death takes without remorse

Death doesn’t leave a note

An explanation

He takes

And never gives

Death has taken from me

Many times

This time

It’s too many

Too many gone

In a short time period

She was so young

So excited for the future

And now...

She’s gone.

Death took her like he took the rest

Suddenly and without warning

And her...

She’s ready to give up the fight

To let death win

Let him win the race of life

The race that not only leaves you breathless

But with a tight feeling in your chest

One that never leaves.

Death inevitably wins

As this is one race, that humans have no chance in winning.
Bella May 14
I want you

He wants you

You want me

But you're scared

Scared of what your parents will say

Scared of the people at school

Scared of hurting me

Scared of yourself.

I want you

So bad

And I know you want this too

So whats stopping you?

Who says you can't be mine?
Bella May 8
I'm scared,

Scared that I'll go off the deep end.

Scared that I'll do something I regret.

Scared that I'll hurt the ones I love.

But life....

Life is hard right now.

Life is definitely not on my side at the moment.

I have so much stress

Way too much for a highschool student.

So yeah,

I'm scared,

And this time my friends are too.
Bella May 8
I get it.

You've known her longer.

Been friends longer.

And I'm just a passing phase.

Just a play thing.

Something to get your mind off of her.

I get it.

But it hurts.

It hurts to know that I'll never be yours.

And you mine.

It hurts that she's my bestfriend.

Who hides nothing from me.

And surely didn't hide this.

I see the looks you give her.

The ones you don't give me.

I see the lingering touches.

So yeah I get it.

Just don't break her heart like you broke mine.
Bella May 8
I'm not sorry for wanting to protect myself.
I'm not sorry for focussing on my health.
I'm not sorry that you're upset.
I'm sorry that I stayed so long.
I'm sorry that I let you do what you did.
I'm sorry that I let you lay your hands on me.
But no I'm not sorry that it's over.
I'm not sorry about what I said or did.
I'm not sorry for loving you.
But I'm sorry that I loved you for so long.
So no I'm not sorry.
Bella May 6
Somedays I feel like a stranger in my own body.

I feel like I'm imposing on someone else.

Somedays I can't even look in the mirror.

Afraid that I'll see what I know is there.

Somedays I don't want to leave my house.

Scared that someone will notice what I'm trying to hide.

Somedays I don't want to be here.

Feeling like a burden to people that I love.

Somedays my body is not my own.

And I don't think I'll ever get it back.
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