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1.6k · Feb 2019
Not you
I realized that
No matter how much you want someone
Or how hard you try to make it work
No matter how perfect you are
Or how beautiful
If it’s not you it’s not you

Don’t wait around hoping
waiting for scraps
You’ll only get hurt
You’re trying to be perfect,
giving it your all
your best
while you get nothing in return
Worse part is they make it seem like you want too much
Like you are too much
The next person will treat you better
Don’t be bitter he/she did you no wrong
It just wasn’t you
It was never you.

Hardest part of it is moving on
But you have to
Don’t be surprised
They’ll act better with the next person
They’ll be different
It’s not you
It was never you
It’s difficult to be in a one sided relationship, your heart will break over and over again till it’s out of shape... my advice : if you’ve tried your best, given it your all and all you get is pain, move on, choose yourself, you are perfect, you are everything, you are amazing... someone else will cherish you, will appreciate you, will know your worth and would never want to loose you. You are not the problem! You probably needed to hear this... be strong
957 · Oct 2019
Living!
Of all the fears I posses
death is not one of them
Living!
Living without a purpose I fear
Live with purpose
490 · Dec 2018
Limbo
she walked through the darkened path
In desperate search for light
Minutes stretched to hours
Nothing but void she found
Sound of intense agony
Came from deep within her
Feeling of gloom and despondency
Descended upon her
Like hot lava
Perdition
Purgatory
Pandemonium
Words she whispered
My sins finally caught up with me
As tears cascaded down her cheek...
Suddenly, a blinding white light appeared
and in a flash it was gone
She fell...
On both hands and both knees
And for the first time
She cried with all her might
To a God she never believed in
She said “save me now and I’ll follow you”
Barely after those words were whispered
She was enveloped in light
Noise
Movement
loud beeping noise
A very parched throat
She Pried her eyes open
Where am I?
She whispered
A blurry face she saw
wearing Something that looked like a white robe
Are you God?
She said
No I’m not
I’m your doc
You were involved in ghastly motor accident
It’s a miracle you are alive
Miracle
that’s all she heard
She smiled and whispered “thank you”to a God she now believes in.
460 · Jan 2019
Beast within
Today I stood against the beast
I realized he was a coward
He cowered before me when I roared
I am in control
I realize now
Oh ye beast within
I am in control
The beast within can be anything: procrastination, fear, alcoholism, *** addiction, laziness whatever it is, You are stronger and you can defeat the beast.With Determination, patience, time and love from yourself and those around you... stay strong
455 · Sep 2019
change
A constant
Could be expected or unexpected
Negative or positive
A challenge or a solution
Yet a change
the way you look at things
The things you look at.
Promotion, death, birth, joy, sadness, peace, discomfort, anxiety, age, days, life
All changes
Never be unprepared
Life is change
451 · Dec 2018
Thoughts
Meaning of life
Purpose to life
Arrrg these questions...

Quantum theory
Avogadro’s law
Pythagoras
Law of torts
What does this even have to do with anything!

Pizza or noodles
Food or sleep
Definitely sleep

He left you
No I left him
Weak
strong
Arrrghh just sleep already

Front or back
Move or not
What have you achieved this year...
This Day...
Arghhhhhhh
It’s so loud in here

My mind never stops
My head never stops
Unending noise
Random thoughts
Worries...
Fears,hopes, dreams, goals
Heart desires...
Fears especially
Hopes especially
It never ends.
416 · Nov 2019
The bitter truth
We can’t always be happy
We can’t always be strong
We can’t always have it easy
We can’t always be the best
We can’t always be positive
We can’t always be grateful
We can’t always smile
We can’t always be healthy
We can’t always succeed
We can’t always be okay
We can’t always win
We will all die someday
It’s the bitter truth
359 · Jun 2019
I hope you are happy
You should do what makes you happy
You should live the best you can at whatever time
The honest truth is life is short(fact)
At the end of the day, regardless of the amount of wealth you amassed  or the material things you collected
Were you happy?
Are you happy?
If wealth is what makes you happy, acquire it
If material things makes you happy, get them
If love makes you happy find love
Or at least keep trying
Ride that motorcycle
Wear that dress
Sing as loud as you can
Dance in the rain
Travel
Ps:I hope you are happy
Never stop trying
That’s the worst thing you’ll do to yourself
Live!
341 · Jan 2019
Foolish homosapiens
We keep running around
In search of something we ain’t even sure of
Hatred for no reason
War
Forgetting we are all humans

A young boy in a car
on his way to school
He was stopped by the police
come down they said
His phone rang
It’s my mom he thinks
Wanting to pick his phone from his jacket pocket
All we heard was silence afterwards
Dreams cut short
Why?
difference in color
Foolish homosapiens

A young girl at the airport
Covered in sweat
Eyes wild
Steps into the plane
Plane takes off
Boom!
Explosion in the sky
Why?
Religion
Foolish homosapiens

Why not love
Homosapiens: the name is Latin for “wise man”
Irony
299 · Aug 2019
Nuisance
One memory refuses to fade
How you touched me like you didn’t want to
How you succumbed to my request like you merely pitied me
How you kissed me like it left a bitter taste afterwards
How you looked disgusted afterwards
Those memories never depart

It was at that exact moment I knew it was over
I realize I was unwanted
I was a nuisance
Never remain where you are not wanted
298 · Jan 2019
Moonchild
I keep hearing it’s voice in my head
I run out in the dark to dance to it’s hidden tunes
It whispers secrets into my ears
It’s rays embraces me so tenderly
So warm
I feel safe
It’s like it calls me
legs are moving on it’s own accord
Dance so passionate
I didn’t know I was capable of
I heard it’s whispers again
So gentle
Like a lovers caress
It called me it’s child and I believed
I am the child of the moon
I am of the moon
Moon and i
296 · Dec 2018
Bad love
We fight
We curse
We ain’t good together
But yet...
stay away?
I can’t
You burn me
I burn you
Together ...
Inferno
But stay away?
I can’t
I hope you find courage to leave...
289 · Dec 2018
Never again!
Do this
Do that
Never for me
Always for you
Always putting me down
You too dark
Too fat
Too short
This that
Words often said
Complaint
Grumble
Annoyance
Anger
That’s all I get
But today I rise
Never again
I promise myself
Never again
I have become more
Each day I become
Never again
I’m in control of my happiness
Never again will I give up that power.
285 · Dec 2018
Wants
My heart is constantly being plagued
Or maybe punished by all that my heart desires...
This want
This need
This desire
They are unending
They never depart
They go around with me wherever I go
I sleep and wake up  with them
It’s like this weight I’m cursed to bear
This world is filled with wants
Unending wants
You have to find happiness in the little things
So as to avoid being defeated by the monster
Desires
Wants
Needs
It’s always lurking around.
261 · Apr 2019
Frailty of life
Death is the permanent cessation
of all biological functions
that sustain a living organism.
It’s baffling
Perplexing
At times difficult to comprehend
moments shared
Love shared
And the next moment
You’re gone
Such a thin line
A frail line
Can be torn at the slightest pressure
Your smile is gone
Your laugh, gone
Your touch, your presence
How did it happen?
Where did you go?
I’d like  to see you at least one more time
Your touch  is cold now
Your skin
Pale,
snow white
No smile, no laugh
No hugs
You are gone
Till we meet again
Cherish every moment
234 · Dec 2018
My own kind of love
I know a lot of words
I’ve read a lot of books
But words...
I don’t know how to put out
I want someone so in sync with me
Someone that hears the phrase, the clause, the sentence, the paragraph, the page, the chapter, the book behind every single word I say...
someone that listens

I do a lot of things
I write a lot of things
But words...
How do I say out loud
My thoughts,
The expressions of my heart,
When I fear the words I will not receive
I just want someone who at my words, heart quickens.
...

I jump a lot of hoops
Over and over
Like we're in a time loop
But words...
I try to express over and over
Till I just might expire.
But for one whom my heart desires
I'll do it over and over
Forever
And I'm not mad
Or caught in a lustful heart's trap
It's just my quest for reciprocation
Of my very heart full emotions
I just want someone who loves me
Like my kind of love.
Written In collaboration with B Sonia k
222 · Aug 2019
Deception
Self deceit is the worse kind of addiction...
Be as true to yourself as possible

...Break free
If you can’t truthfully analyze your self then how do you get better?
221 · Jan 2019
Two faced
At my  face you love me
At my back you stab me
Try as I may,
‘till I faint
You’ll always be my enemy
This I have known
But love keeps my hands tied
Love!
A beast who came to devour
To prey upon the weak
But took the embodiment of a sheep
Two faced art thou
Pretender!
Of all this...I knew
But love...
keeps my hands tied

Of all this...I knew
But my hands are tied
And heart...
completely shattered
For thou art my beloved.
213 · Nov 2019
Lost sometimes...
I get lost in my head
Lost in thoughts
Lost in fears
Lost in doubts
Pressure to be better
To be great
Fears that what if I can’t
Hopes that what if I can
Sometimes the demon wins
And I get completely lost
And sometimes I win
Covered in bruises
But a win
I’d rather keep fighting
Keep hoping
Hope that I can
Someday...
I hope this makes any sense
But we all fighting something
I hope we all win
189 · Jun 2019
Enamored
I spend way too much time thinking about you
Going through old messages
Longing to hear your voice each day
I have a shirt that smells like you
never washed it, scared of it loosing your scent
I want to spend each day wrapped in your arms
I want you to be as enamored of me as I am of you.
Never be too afraid to say what you feel
167 · Dec 2018
Time
Every individual posses it
But control we have not
It comes once but never again
It comes and gone it is for all eternity
Deceiver it is
Presenting you with an illusion
That it will forever abide with you
It comes once but never again

With each second, minute, hour that passes there’s a change tho unseen it may be
but a change it is
A wail, very loud , celebration and tears of joy
a baby is born
It’s a girl the doctor yells
A wail, filled with so much agony
So much pain,death just took one of their own
Why!!! They yell
Deceiver you are
It comes once but never again

Unseen is it ways
Today you were born
Tomorrow you birth your child
The next a grandchild
Death comes knocking
Where did all the time go you ask?
Deceiver it is
It comes once but never again

Friendly words I part with
Time we say ,there’s time
But there’s none!
You will never see this same time on this same day in this same year it’s gone!
Make the best of every second you get
139 · May 2020
Addiction
Why does it all feel right with you
And wrong without you
With you it all makes sense
Or maybe I’m just addicted
Like ****,
You make me see colors in dark places
The rush I feel
The high with you can be compared to none
I’m binged on you
The tweaking ,I can’t sleep
I keep seeing you in my head
And Sometimes I crash
The terrible hangover
The withdrawal is the worse and then I revert
Cos I’m weak
I need you like I need oxygen
You are my addiction
Being addicted to a person is real and can really hurt if not reciprocated.
If you are currently battling any form of addiction have faith, you are stronger than you think
Love and light❤️

— The End —