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  Jul 24 K
Ruda Lovey
I need you to listen to me. I need you to become
the person you once were. Please go back to a
truthful, healthy, loving, and kind person
again
This is a golden shovel poem using the quote "Become a person again" from Dorothea Lansky's "Become a Person"
K Jul 24
I feel trapped in this world
As if I don't belong here
I don't belong here.
I know
But being reminded of it makes me feel worthless.
no one knows what it's like to be you
no one knows what it's like to walk in your shoes.
And honestly, no one ******* cares.
No. one. *******. cares.
that's the problem
which is why we hurt ourselves
which is why we cut ourselves
to find that piece of pain to keep ourselves going.
To constantly wish to die
but secretly hope to live
hoping one day that this misery will change
we hope it will change
but maybe it won't.
maybe it will all be the same
maybe life will always go on this way
maybe your family won't understand
maybe they won't support your dreams
maybe no one will love me
maybe I will be alone
maybe.
maybe.
maybe.
it will change
or maybe my thinking won't
maybe my mind will keep spinning.
K Nov 2018
Imma keep this short-
*** I gotta go,
Don't let anyone steal your shine,
Or make you feel left behind.
You are worthy ,
You are capable,
Depression will not break you.
Suicide will not overtake you.
Better days are coming
and I'm trying to believe that too
So lets work  on ourselves together
So that It can come true.
I'm rooting for you stranger.
-k
Had a really bad day today. Felt like literally no one listened to what I had to say, but I'm trying to say positive the best way I can. So if you too had a ****** day you are not alone!
K Sep 2018
Maybe I'm incapable of  getting love,
Since it never comes my way.
Love is like the mailman.,
Carefully carrying precious packages and mail,
Delivering it to the rightful owner.
But why dosen't it ever get delivered to me?
Don't I deserve it?
It passes everyone else but me.
Meaningless relationships pass
Love enters some
Love exits onother
But love never seems to treat me right
All love seems to do is treat me wrong
Suffocated me slowly till I'm outta breath
Grab my heart and strangle it,
but just enough so it begs for more
I always tell myself "Maybe I'm unattractive"
Or "maybe my luck isn't right"
Cause I'm starting to believe I'm incapable of getting love
And I'm gonna cry tonight.
....
K Aug 2018
These open cuts lay open in remembrance of you.
Everything we had,
All that we did
All who we are, was-
and still is up to you.
You made a choice,
And picked your sacrifice.
You tossed me to the side-
As a new woman caught your eye.
Captivated by her beauty,
As if mine wasn't enough.
Constantly mystified by the twinkle in her eye-
As if mine wasn't worth the time.
You bruised me,
Your ignorance abuses me.
So these open cuts lay hollow,
And beg for your return.
Hoping one day you can heal them.
And ignite the fire that was never burned.
  Aug 2018 K
Invisible
Trust cannot exist
If secrets do.
Yet, I put up these walls
That no one sees through.

It is nothing, but a fear
A fear of letting someone in.
So, I let my thoughts become whispers
And I keep my feelings hidden.

I conceal way more than I show.
I don't let them see me cry.
I'm scared that I'll lose them.
No matter how much I try.

It's a fear of trust.
A fear of loss.
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