I like you cause you hurt me
You feared it was because you remind me of my ex
Or because my idea of you was better then the rest
But neither of those are true
I like you because your words **** my self esteem
You’re opinions of me make me want to lose everything
They scream I’m nothing
I like you because I have a problem
I always fall in love with my oppressor
I am addicted to harsh environments and pain I’m not allowed to mention
You ruin me
In the most beautiful ways I never expected
You torture me then ridicule me for not enjoying the experience
I should hate you
But I just like you more
I guess I fall in love with what I am
A monster
Not that you are a creature of the night
But your actions remind me of myself
And I’m more of a monster then I am anything else
I’m a mess
And I’m sorry for even starting this
Manipulating you into wanting this
Or convincing you this is worth it
Because its not
All I will do is hurt you
Something I don’t want to do
But it’s who I am
I once said that you’re not better then me
In rage I lied once again for nothing
I’m sorry
For even letting myself think I am worthy of anything
Or equal to you even remotely
While I’m barely even human
Or
Barley even feeling human
I have wounds that will never mend
As if I’m in Dante’s inferno
I will forever be in pain
For trying to be okay
For trying to be sane
I guess that’s why I like you
Because you remind me of that pain
The one that is at the core of who I am
I fall in love with my oppressor
And now that person is you
So I love you cause you hurt me
Something you don’t even know you do

"Oh to dream in visions of gold,
inside castles visited often,
in a story I write.

Oh to live on a merry-go-round,
in breath that harbors wisdom.
in a little babies smile.

Oh to be grateful within,
to run with the wind,
to dance to my hearts song.

Oh to dream of a world,
where all live in harmony,
and heaven,
is a place on earth.

StarBG © 2017