14m Daniel Ruiz
Lexie
these words have changed me
imagine,
sitting in some rocks
at the border of the beach,
wondering,
feeling adventurous,
Asking the milky way for
permission
as our lips interlock ,
and our minds become one,

the sound of the sea becomes our bed,
the light the stars emit,
becomes the electricity
between touches,

both of us not able to open our eyes,
as the moons reflection in the ocean
showers us with gratitude,
the blood racing though my veins,
gravity pulling me down as
my breathing becomes heavier

i feel high on happiness and adrenaline,

who would have thought the next moment
i would be drowning in the sea.
why am i like this?
we live in search
of fake loyalty,
living in a world
wher-

You know,
I'm tired,
the rain has covered the night
like a father covers his child to bed,
and i'm here thinking,
just thinking about things
that i shouldn't think about,
leaving this island of thoughts to burn
in my mind,
telling me things i could do and say,
giving me smoke signals,
as my eyes try to close,

I feel like disappearing tonight,
like hanging out with god,
and talk like we knew each other
before hand,
ignoring the fact that i doubt his existence,
and his bipolar tendencies
of leaving us with only faith to rest our heads at.

I feel like turning a new page,
or burning the whole book along
with the island in my head,
i feel like a princess in distress,
following the shadow of a man,
only the shadow is me,
and i'm not half the person i should be,
just some,
dwelling smell,
that doesn't disappear,
no matter how much they try,

I won't come back
  1d Daniel Ruiz
Egg
I used to play the piano
Not well.
Not by any technical standard.

But I used to love that my fingers
Could drift and thunder across the keys,
without heeding any advice or rule,
and make such divine,
Impossible sounds
And I could love the crashing biting chords
that my lonely fingers bore.

I used to play the piano.
Bravely.

In most people
Bravery is made to die.

I stopped playing the piano.
The world had begun to play me
Instead.

and soon
every rule I had ever neglected
every song I had sung off key
every bit of myself that was brave enough
to sacrifice the stress of imperfection
dissipated.

Evaporated.

Scorned out by the heat of the games
the world was playing me in.

I used to play the piano.
Fearlessly
Thoughtlessly
Blissfully

there was something so enchanting
about not understanding
and not caring that I did not understand.

I wish we did not waste so much time
worrying about those notes that ring so
out of tune and time
Why can’t we see?
not all imperfections are mistakes.
those wild, winding notes–
they are not always lost.

intention and perfection are not
one in the same

I used to play the piano.
I used to be brave enough
To live with that untamed,
unapologetic
kind of bravery.

I am trying
To learn to live like that
again.
  1d Daniel Ruiz
Egg
I would give myself away
as I so often do.

crack a smile
shed a tear
laugh abrubtly
or sit silent

Always with my heart on my sleeve,
where I have made a spot for it.

I would give myself away.
everytime.
if the person I am yeilding to is you.

And I will not hide anymore.
So that maybe
Maybe
Maybe we will teach each other
the serenity
In loving someone who let's you keep your heart on your sleeve
So they might see it.

So loving,
just loving
might come with less questions

I cannot give you serenity,
but if it meant you might find it
for yourself
I would give myself away.

For you,
I would give myself away.
You know who you are.
Probably because i’m insecure,
Probably because it was tempting
To have you roam around
My life a little longer,

i didn’t block you out of hatred
Or disgust,
On the contrary,
I still want you to be as happy
As I wanted you to be,

I still want yo hear your giggle,
And your soft voice
That does something that the sun can’t,
Shows me how much I don’t want to die.

But I can’t control anything that happens,
And now we are like this,
And you probably hate me now.
I've grown so accustomed to this numbness.
It spreads through my body
like wildfire
consuming dry skin and chapped lips.
It overtakes all of me, fills my being
from stomach to heart and
eventually my mind.
It begins to feel like brush on the forest floor,
stale and easy to catch
but quick to burn up.

------------------------------------------------------------­---------

Our ship is sinking
so quickly.
Blink and you miss
all the little moments we could have had
that you failed to see.
Your blindness and My complacency
like cannonballs
punching holes in our vessel
and me in the stomach.
You don't even seem to care Captain.
We're patching up a sinking ship with bandages
but it won't stay afloat.
Next page